Nephew vs Andrew Tate

[Spencer0220]

I visited my mum's yesterday. We had a lovely afternoon with my sister and her kids. Apart from DNephew who is 13 at the end of the month.

DN has started absolutely idolising Andrew Tate and the Illuminati.

A lot of his views made me as a woman extremely uncomfortable. DSis has tried to reeducate and told him why these views are wrong. She pulled him up repeatedly during the visit because he was sitting with the forefinger/thumb hand signal popularised by Tate. He refused to stop, saying he was comfortable and sitting naturally.

DSis explained about his reeducation, and he kept parroting that he had been reeducated and smirking.

He demanded his birthday present early and told his grandmother how disgusted he was because she hadn't brought presents because she had cooked the same dinner as Christmas Day, so she was expected to give another set of gifts!! Mad!! He got mad at me for refusing to give him his birthday present. I had taken it with me because I don't think I'll see his mum again beforehand.

My mother and sister are clearly at the end of their rope with him.

DN has autism and ADHD.

The part where I think I might be unreasonable. I don't know how to tell DSis, or even if I should, that unless her son stops talking like Tate around me, I'm not prepared to see him, or have him in my house. My skin was crawling by the end of the visit. His views on women are just awful.

If he has been told about the horrific things that AT has done and he still likes him... I wouldn't have him in my home either.
Shows a very distinct lack of morals and some serious misogyny.

My nephew of the same age liked AT but he had only seen the snappy clips on TikTok. When I explain what he had done to women and what he actually stood for, my nephew was appalled.

A lot of the shorter clips are "funny" ones of him talking about "bubble water" in his accent the kids like to mimic etc.

The rest of your nephews behaviour towards the women in your family speaks volumes about which camp he falls into.

He's a (nearly) 13yo PITA who knows how to push all your buttons. The more attention you pay to his AT and Illuminati shite, the more he'll talk about it.

This is a time for "Really? That's nice dear" responses. Then move back to the other conversation happening. Let his mum deal with it while he grows out of it.

I’d avoid him until he stops being such an arsehole TBH.

He's just approaching his teens. That may take some time.😆

Just ignore him. Stop giving his views oxygen. You can't ban a 13 year old from your home for being a (ND) 13 year old.

How is that scum bag still allowed a platform?

What’s the fire finger thumb thing?

Of course she can. Her home her choice

If I had daughters, or sons who were influenced by this child, I absolutely would.

I don't know how to explain the hand signal. I didn't actually understand it myself until my sister explained it. But I very much understood the words out of his mouth.

Plenty of photos on google

Just ignore him, smile and nod, but don’t give him a platform for this nonsense.

I also wouldn’t ban him from your home, has he always had this type of attitude? Or is it new? It might be worth dsis talking to the school and then using their prevent tools to re educate him.

I don’t think isolating him will achieve the desired goal.

Yes one of my GC was doing this and winding people up. School even said they were worried. We ignored it or smiled at each other in a "knowing" way when he came out with this stuff which annoyed him. He gave up after a few weeks when it just wasn't working.

Why tf is your sil letting her vulnerable 12 year old on social media??? Don't go blaming the neurodiversity, I've got 2 boys with autism, one thinks AT is an absolute dick, and the other hadn't heard of him.

How much of this is related to his autism and adhd, does he fully understand?

Just don’t give this fad oxygen.

Essentially this post boils down to a teenager actively trying to piss off adults. A tale as old as time.

@Frasers it will be linked to his autism but probably not because of a lack of understanding

most incels for example have ASD, their lack of ability to form connections with women is often the catalyst for these damaging views.

Ah ok, that’s very sad.

Yeah this is the way to handle it imo, as hard as it may be to swallow your rage.

Ignore him when he's winding you up but start putting some of your views forward.
Have conversations and gentle debates and hopefully you can help mould him into a better person.
He's at such an impressionable age. If adults around him start backing off, where do you think he'll go?

Is his dad in the picture? Can he not have a word?

Isn't the hand "signal" representative of a vulva? (So says my Italian mate).

The word is thrown around on MN with abandon these days but Tate really is utterly vile.

What's a 'reeducation'?

At that age I hope it's stupid teenage rebellion rather than something more sinister.

In a way by reacting strongly you're assigning power to this stupid behaviour. It might be worth treating it like childish nonsense and seeing if he gets bored.

I feel very sad for your sister it must be miserable putting up with this shit from her own DS.

I don't think she knows how to stop him. She has a block on his phone so he can't use it for more than an hour at a time. So he takes her phone and won't hand it over.

I don't think he does, but I'm not sure I see him regularly enough to make an informed opinion.

He very much follows the crowd and does as his peers tell him. That said, he has never respected his mother and now his attitude to all women is awful.

My DH would be willing to try and talk to him, but neither of us think it's right that we do. My DH is also very uncomfortable with his opinions

Very interesting.

Now THAT is definitely a reason to crack down.

Not to mention, why doesn't she lock it to her fingerprint?