Nephew vs Andrew Tate

[Spencer0220]

I visited my mum's yesterday. We had a lovely afternoon with my sister and her kids. Apart from DNephew who is 13 at the end of the month.

DN has started absolutely idolising Andrew Tate and the Illuminati.

A lot of his views made me as a woman extremely uncomfortable. DSis has tried to reeducate and told him why these views are wrong. She pulled him up repeatedly during the visit because he was sitting with the forefinger/thumb hand signal popularised by Tate. He refused to stop, saying he was comfortable and sitting naturally.

DSis explained about his reeducation, and he kept parroting that he had been reeducated and smirking.

He demanded his birthday present early and told his grandmother how disgusted he was because she hadn't brought presents because she had cooked the same dinner as Christmas Day, so she was expected to give another set of gifts!! Mad!! He got mad at me for refusing to give him his birthday present. I had taken it with me because I don't think I'll see his mum again beforehand.

My mother and sister are clearly at the end of their rope with him.

DN has autism and ADHD.

The part where I think I might be unreasonable. I don't know how to tell DSis, or even if I should, that unless her son stops talking like Tate around me, I'm not prepared to see him, or have him in my house. My skin was crawling by the end of the visit. His views on women are just awful.

Tapping into a new market with his 'religion'.

Why hasn’t your sister just removed any devices or turned off wifi on them. No WiFi or sim so no online. If she hadn’t even done that or put a fingerprint on her phone them why not?

Uh…thats like telling him to take a spoonful of sugar with the poison.

I'd be nipping this in the bud asap.
My ds had these views before I knew of AT, he'd say my dad hates feminists and he'd make derogatory remarks about women and claim his dad says it.
I struggled to co-parent with my misogynistic ex who ds lived 50/50 with and idolised him.
He's 23 now and I know he still feels the same but just doesn't show that side around me, I've heard him on the phone though and nothing's changed, too many people share his views and opinions for him to ever think he's wrong.
He has a son himself now and I can see history repeating itself as he co-parents with the ex he can't stand.

Isn't it a yoga gesture? Just say 'oh yes, love that - we do that in my yoga class' or something similar, make it uncool

What i want to know is why haven't Tate and his oppo's been charged with any criminal offences yet ?

"there's a reason his fans are 13 year old or incels."

Every time he's mentioned, point this out. Make fun of the fact that someone who is an idol of teenage boys isn't going to be the sharpest tool in the box.

One thing I find completely unacceptable is the way he's allowed to talk to his grandmother in this way. Even if your sister is clueless about misogyny, basic good manners is usually accessible for even the thickest person. The kid sounds like he's screaming out for boundaries tbh.

It's a huge case. One that the magnitude of it really hasn't been reflected well in the media. The case file includes 75,000 pages of evidence, including CCTV analysis from their properties, computer and device searches across the Tates and their assistants, analysing thousands of video's/data from their war room content, plus then needing to translate back and forth. The initial investigation has wrapped up, but it took several months, and they have been charged. They are now awaiting trial however the Tates lawyers are using delaying tactics to try and stall before trial, the latest they tried is trying to get witnesses removed from the file claiming they were 'pressured' into giving statements, the trial will be announced in coming days/weeks and will likely last 2-3 years. Whether they remain on judicial control (able to travel Romania and keep some of their freedoms) during that time or are sent into preventive detention I don't know. But it will end in Prison.

During the initial investigation, it was discovered the crimes were much more extensive than initially thought, and victims have been uncovered such as Ukrainian war refugee's and a minor, as well as financial crimes, therefore further charges are on the way too.

It's a long, complex process. They have been charged with crimes, but not had the trial to determine sentencing yet. And there will likely be more than one trial due to other charges coming soon.

Also - back to the topic at hand - I agree with mocking the hand gesture, and just making him feel a bit silly/goofy. Nothing Tate and Tate fans detest more than being made to look like a nerd.

When she did that, he kicked off so spectacularly, she said she had to keep him quiet because of the other children. He's so large physically he can overpower both his mother and grandmother.

As far as I know, her phone doesn't have a fingerprint reader and he threatens to smash her phone if she doesn't unlock the screen. She can't afford a phone replacement. She has a very old iPhone

Yes, I believe it's a variant of a yoga pose.

Unfortunately, DH and I are both physically disabled, so if we suggested either of us did yoga he'd know it was a blatant lie.

Otherwise, good suggestion, thanks! 😊

Ongoing investigations as far as I can tell. It's going to take a long time to build a watertight case and I'd rather it gets dragged out and done right. I'm not sure Romania 🇷🇴 has double jeopardy laws.

Agree

Yes, she can.

OP, what are the males in DN's life doing about this?

Well yes of course she "can". But I don't think she should
I think it's an inappropriate response and his behaviours absolutely are linked to his disabilities.

From another perspective, this boy needs as many strong female role models in his life as possible.

He is a child.

I do totally understand your horror and distaste, but if you possibly can, are you able to stick with him?

Always challenge him, but hate the behaviour, not the child.

Unless you have impressionable young children yourself?

There has been an increase in misogyny related referrals to the governments Prevent programme. One of the aims is mentoring and re education.

I said this on another thread, but Andrew Tate really is the most self-loathing closeted homosexual I have ever seen! I think the best strategy with your nephew is to just knock him down.... continually say "that's nice dear", and all smirk at each other when he starts on with his Tate-love.

The time to get heavy with him is when he's being directly rude to other people. "Do NOT speak to me / your mother / your grandmother like that." Unfortunately it sounds like you're all afraid of the nasty little shite and there isn't really anyone in the family strong enough to challenge him. Smirking at him is probably your best bet.

@baileybrosbuildingandloan there's only his step dad, who he won't listen to. Or my DH and his step aunt's DH. Dad not around often and DN often refused to see him.

@Holly60, childless myself.

14yr old DS went through an AT phase. He kept banging on about how he was going to ‘break the network’ or whatever shit it is and how I was a ‘slave to the network’ for working a 9-5 etc. I lost my shit at him, told him my working a 9-5 paid for all his stuff and I’d not hear that man’s name mentioned in my house again etc etc.

He took great delight in winding me up about it for a few more weeks, which I just completely ignored. I also refused to buy the next PlayStation game he asked for and new trainers, given I was a ‘slave to the network’ and told him he could work out how to pay for them himself with his new found wisdom. He soon got bored with it once I stopped giving it air space.

I've read and re read this a few times, but your use of the phrase 'closeted homosexual' makes me deeply, deeply uncomfortable. The man hates women, that much is clear because he has told us this. It doesn't make him gay, and it's completely unfair to imply gay men hate women to this extent. He's an absolute arsehole. His sexuality has nothing to do with it at the end of the day. Abusive arseholes are abusive arseholes, regardless of their (alleged) sexuality.

@Chickenkeev

I strongly agree with you - the phrasing used by the previous poster made me really uncomfortable.

I think T does give the impression of being gay. I don't think the poster was implying gay men hate women, but that this was a person covering up being gay (as he feels it needs covering up) by acting how he thinks a macho straight man should act.
Obviously I've no idea if he's gay or not.

Idk how you can say he gives the impression of being gay tbh. He gives the impression of being a vile pig. If he has a problem with repressed sexuality, that's his problem tbh. I certainly can't relate his abhorrent behaviour to any gay people i know. He is just a pig. A really vile pig. That's the long and the short of it. If he happens to be a repressed gay man, he's still a pig.

PonyPatter44
I know what you mean. Quite a few men who hate women are repressing their own sexuality hence also hate themselves, and project that hate directly onto women and gay men in hyper-masculine fashion. Presenting as masculine/alpha is extremely important. They will always seek out and crave the male gaze but can't/won't take it further and be who they really want to be. Culture, society, various reasons. Gay men have spoken out about this kind of thing very openly, it's nothing new

Why can't they form connections with women? My ASD teen's best friend is a girl.