Nephew vs Andrew Tate

[Spencer0220]

I visited my mum's yesterday. We had a lovely afternoon with my sister and her kids. Apart from DNephew who is 13 at the end of the month.

DN has started absolutely idolising Andrew Tate and the Illuminati.

A lot of his views made me as a woman extremely uncomfortable. DSis has tried to reeducate and told him why these views are wrong. She pulled him up repeatedly during the visit because he was sitting with the forefinger/thumb hand signal popularised by Tate. He refused to stop, saying he was comfortable and sitting naturally.

DSis explained about his reeducation, and he kept parroting that he had been reeducated and smirking.

He demanded his birthday present early and told his grandmother how disgusted he was because she hadn't brought presents because she had cooked the same dinner as Christmas Day, so she was expected to give another set of gifts!! Mad!! He got mad at me for refusing to give him his birthday present. I had taken it with me because I don't think I'll see his mum again beforehand.

My mother and sister are clearly at the end of their rope with him.

DN has autism and ADHD.

The part where I think I might be unreasonable. I don't know how to tell DSis, or even if I should, that unless her son stops talking like Tate around me, I'm not prepared to see him, or have him in my house. My skin was crawling by the end of the visit. His views on women are just awful.

They don’t want to be friends. That’s the point, they want sex and they can’t get it. That’s why they become so bitter and fucked-up.

Agree!

So self-reported autism rather than actual autism. And it suggests 'some' may be vulnerable rather than most incels are autistic.

Autistic boys don't want to be friends, they want sex? Nope. They've been friends since little kids nothing to do with sex! Plenty of autistic boys want to be friends with girls!!

He has been radicalised. Might be worth looking for support from Prevent.

I'm a secondary school teacher who's had some issues with this and this has been my response when asked by smirking boys what my opinion of Tate is.

"Oh, Andrew Tate? He's just a con artist who's made a bit of money scamming the kind of teenage boys who can't get girlfriends, isn't he?"

Complete with eyeroll. Sometimes throw in a reference to being such a loser he has to make money through his cam girl girlfriends. (They usually get awkward at this point that some woman in a cardigan knows about this stuff)

These boys are trying to shock the adults, especially the women, around them. Don't react.

Why can't they form connections with women? My ASD teen's best friend is a girl

Exactly.

My train obsessed ASD lovely nephew has a girlfriend. He is neither sexist, misogynist or rude. He has female friends. Lots of female relatives he isn't rude to any of us.

I actually find it really offensive that nasty, horrible traits are immediately 'diagnosed' on MN as ASD Autism

I completely agree. My boy is lovely. Kind, polite, friendly - not sexist or misogynistic in the slightest. Those comments have really upset me.

but since he started to follow Islam his message has changed a little and some of it is worthy

Ah - I can see the cross over - "deity" married 13 yr old girl, religion normalises polygyny, lets women marry in ceremonies that give them no legal rights in the UK if they divorce etc etc ... AT is an underage human.trafficker and rapist, who said he has multiple women and pimped them, believes women are inferior etc etc.

Exactly.

And as for his hand gesture, I'd challenge it every time;

"Is that hand gesture for a vulva? It's good you know what you came out of. Amazing thing - female anatomy, where you were conceived, and grew, and given birth out of ... Incredible what it can do ...... Are you making that symbol for what you came out of when you were born again?"

I'd keep at it, over and over ..... They really don't like that concept. They think they sprung to life independently.

Absolutely. It's so fucking depressing to see yet another thread descend into an autism-bashing session.

I have an autistic adult child, and I know many, many others. They are no more likely to be misogynistic than anyone else. Mine idolises Susan Bordo.

What is true is that young people who feel excluded, disenfranchised and starved of acceptance are vulnerable to predatory extremists. And autistic people are over represented in that group - not because of anything intrinsic to their autism, but because of shitty attitudes like those on show in this thread.

Incels. That’s what we were talking about before the ASD derailment.

Extremes appear to be a family trait.

ASD, ADHD and he’s a 13 year old boy, yeesh that’s quite the mountain to navigate. You and your sister’s approach are making the situation worse, not better. Ignore the bad and reward the good behaviour. Your sister calling what she’s doing as re education is weird and condescending.

I do not know what the hand signals of AT or the illuminati are but your response only fuels the behaviour because that’s the point of him doing it.

Apologies to those offended by my "closeted" comment - someone explained it upthread better than I did. Gay men don't hate women, but Andrew Tate hates women because he is gay and not attracted to them, but cannot accept his own sexuality. His hatred of women/ beta males / weak men / fenceposts / whatever it is this week is really displaced self-loathing. Its quite sad really, or it would be if his influence wasn't so toxic.

He’s a vulnerable child who is being radicalised. I doubt the posters who are saying to just ignore it or brush it off would be saying the same if he was being radicalised by islamists but the misogynistic ‘incel’ cult is as potentially dangerous and has a far greater reach.

Please support your sister in helping this child now - that starts with getting serious about internet access. No TikTok, no YouTube, no WhatsApp. Just supervised internet access for homework only. Help her with configuring her router and putting blocks on all the phones if needed.

if she doesn’t do this NOW the school will eventually make a Prevent referral and that means social services and possibly police involvement.

You have to know the child. I knew my GS was doing it to wind people up, he did that a treat at school, the more people reacted the more he did it. When I spoke to the school and they accepted this he stopped within 2 weeks and moved on to something else, think it was trying to wind remainers up by proclaiming brexit. Escalating this by removing tech and access to the internet would almost certainly been the wrong decision.

Knowing the child is absolutely crucial to making the right decision in how to react.

You're right in that this sort of right wing- misogynist- conspiracy theorist "mixed ideology" is now the main reason people get referred to Prevent, far outstripping Islamist ideology.

But the difference is schools aren't full of dozens, if not more, boys talking about how much of a "G" Abu Hamza is. They're not all getting referred to Prevent (and even if they were, they'd just get pinged back down to be dealt with by another service)

This. Mine (15) likes to wind me up about it - but I know he doesn’t admire him or take it seriously, so I accept that your DN’s behaviour is worse.

He needs pulling up on his rudeness regarding the presents. Your DSis should really have marched him out over that. Taking her phone and not giving it back needs dealing with firmly. The Tate stuff needs dealing with by (1) a calm explanation by your DS of why it’s so bad and (2) thereafter as little attention as possible while contacting school and making sure they’re aware of it. The teachers should be focusing on this in PSHE.

Don’t rise to it, as hard as that is. Either ignore it completely or go for the ‘knowing’ smile between adults which will not be the reaction he wants. Much of this will be typical early teen stupid boy behaviour. How much is related to his ND ? Not sure, but his mum could seek advice on that.

Good article. Basically explains how he has such a prominent social media presence. It's a mlm, Basically young vulnerable boys sign up (mostly Indian and Pakistani) with promises that for 49.99 a month they'll learn to make millions, when really they are just are instructed to edit videos of tate and share them on social media. Boys struggle to leave as they are called brokies or losers. So Basically you have a bunch of brain washed kids thinking they'll become millionaires by sharing his videos and promoting the subscription.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/pkaw7k/andrew-tate-the-real-world-cult