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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sick of Dds teacher

160 replies

Someonepaintmyhouseplease · 12/01/2024 15:10

Dd is 5 and in Pre school (we’re abroad)
She started to not want to go in, in October, she said the teacher was shouting at the children for not doing the work properly etc (I posted on here) I went in several times, plus Dh too.
The teacher said she didn’t shout etc etc, things got better.
This week, she’s been crying again at bedtime and this morning was crying not to go in again, I ended up getting out of her (eventually) that the teacher has been shouting at her (and others) if she puts her name in the wrong place on the paper 🤷🏻‍♀️apparently she shouts ‘Not there, over here!’
Dd was also upset as she says one of the boys in her class (one of her friends) is always shouted at to sit still and stop playing. I’ve seen this boy, he’s very sweet, but younger and obviously full of energy. I understand he has to learn to try to sit and not play during lessons and so on, but Dd says he cries and cries and his face goes red.
So sick and tired of going in to complain and nothing being done.
Dd finishes with this teacher at the end of June, but we want to stay in the school and have to re register to move up to the next part of school. I don’t want to take her out and put the chance of this in jeopardy, but equally I can’t put my Dd in this situation all the time.
This is not merely a teacher bashing thread, I’m a teacher myself and would
never get cross and shout it a 5 year old put their name in the *Wrong place on a paper!
What else can I do? I also need to work part time, so need to have Dd in Pre school
She adores her friends there, is very well liked, loves the teaching assistant, who she says is *Kind to her 😔

OP posts:
Nonomono · 12/01/2024 18:30

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 18:17

Not ridiculous what else you want my address lol.

No I’m just wondering what job you have.

You made a very prejudiced statement and you keep avoiding the question of what job you do.

You’re obviously not going to say.

You tried to start a bun fight and it backfired.

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 18:37

Nonomono · 12/01/2024 18:30

No I’m just wondering what job you have.

You made a very prejudiced statement and you keep avoiding the question of what job you do.

You’re obviously not going to say.

You tried to start a bun fight and it backfired.

Ive tried nothing i added an opinion just like any one else and keep getting quoted and then it somehow turned in to what i do for a living bit odd but it is MN.

Someonepaintmyhouseplease · 12/01/2024 18:39

@WhereIsBebèsChambre What?

OP posts:
Macramepotholder · 12/01/2024 18:42

Is it an international school? They can be laws unto themselves- you get some fantastic teachers but also some who wouldn't keep a job in the UK who drift from country to country. And there is a power differential often with local TAs and bad behaviour of expat staff.

We had this in reception at an international school- I later found out some of the other teachers were rotating in because they were so concerned about him. The kids weren't making it up. Parents complained, collectively, to the head and said they would stop paying fees. Money talks. He was moved out.

If it's not an international school or private it's more challenging but start with the head.

justasking111 · 12/01/2024 18:52

Get other parents to back you up. All came to a head at grandsons school when two parents were walking by to the local shop, the windows and doors were open they heard and saw this teacher ranting at children including my grandson who was a wreck some days. They filmed it all and sent to the parents on the WhatsApp group.

The head who up till then had blanked all complaints had to act. Apparently the teacher had a difficult home life was the excuse.

The shouting stopped though and later the teaching assistant thanked the parents she'd also been bullied.

So you do need to speak to other parents.

ilovesooty · 12/01/2024 18:55

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 18:37

Ive tried nothing i added an opinion just like any one else and keep getting quoted and then it somehow turned in to what i do for a living bit odd but it is MN.

It isn't just like anyone else

Most people have more sense than to offer an opinion based on sweeping generalisation.

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 18:59

ilovesooty · 12/01/2024 18:55

It isn't just like anyone else

Most people have more sense than to offer an opinion based on sweeping generalisation.

Your not the first to quote me bless ya have a good night.

SmellyKat10 · 12/01/2024 19:02

Not everyone has to like teachers. It’s not that deep 🤷🏻‍♀️

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 19:05

SmellyKat10 · 12/01/2024 19:02

Not everyone has to like teachers. It’s not that deep 🤷🏻‍♀️

Try telling the thread that one opinion as gone as far as wanting to know what i do for a living.
i agree i dont like teachers but i dont hate them and half the time i feel sorry for the crap they have to put up with.

SmellyKat10 · 12/01/2024 19:08

It’s just weird that they’d care so much about one random poster’s opinion. Why is it so important that everyone likes teachers? I’m a lawyer. No one likes lawyers. I’m fine with that 🤷🏻‍♀️

Bearbookagainandagain · 12/01/2024 19:09

If you are in France as others have suggested , then she better get use to putting her name in the right place! She has years to come of being harassed by teachers about where she wrote the date, her name, what colour she used, did she underline the title, how many pages her workbook has,...

More seriously, I don't think anyone else has suggested to actually help your daughter with the task if that's what is causing the issue with the teacher? If you want her to stay in that school, she might need to just get on with it. It's not the last time she will have teachers she doesn't like.
If it's France, then they would usually be asked to write their name in the margin, or "two squares down, 5 squares to the right" type of instructions.

The only other option I can think off is to ask for her to move to another classe if there is one available, but that's quite hard to achieve.

penjil · 12/01/2024 19:27

Someonepaintmyhouseplease · 12/01/2024 15:56

Where we are is a different culture, shouting likely wouldn’t be considered that unusual or wrong

Well, don't drip feed, say where you are in the opening post!

alfagirl73 · 12/01/2024 19:35

The bit that jumps out at me is that after you spoke to the teacher things appeared to get better for a while and have now declined again. That suggests to me that after being spoken to, the teacher toned it down a bit and was more considered in her manner, but it's slipped now and her previous style has crept back in. Certainly something changed after that conversation you had with the teacher to improve the situation for a while, which does tend to support what your child is saying. Your child was miserable going to school... you had a word... things got better and I assume your child was quite happy going to school during that time when things were better, but now your child is dreading going to school again.

itsgettingweird · 12/01/2024 19:38

Someonepaintmyhouseplease · 12/01/2024 17:08

@itsgettingweird She says she doesn’t always know where to do it. She’s 5, she makes mistakes, they all do, you don’t shout at a 5 year old for putting their name in the wrong place ffs.

I never suggested you do.

But I was wondering if dd said it's because her name is in the wrong place if she knew where she was meant to do it but wasn't.

Plus the question is if it's impatience or shouting. I don't agree with shouting at a child but am not against showing impatience when they haven't listened and followed an instruction.

Bellsandthistle · 12/01/2024 19:43

Have you considered that maybe you’re the problem @doublexegg ?

Sugargliderwombat · 12/01/2024 19:44

"got out of her eventually" is the reason I put Yabu. If you keep interrogating a child they will keep giving answers until they give you one you accept.

Mywhoopdeedoo · 12/01/2024 19:54

‘I don’t like teachers’ there’s quite a lot of us you know @doublexegg

Mywhoopdeedoo · 12/01/2024 19:55

Have you heard the teacher shout op ?

DialMforMummy · 12/01/2024 20:00

SmellyKat10 · 12/01/2024 19:08

It’s just weird that they’d care so much about one random poster’s opinion. Why is it so important that everyone likes teachers? I’m a lawyer. No one likes lawyers. I’m fine with that 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well, personally, I think it denotes a limited mindset to claim not to "like" people on the basis of their job.

Clarabell77 · 12/01/2024 20:05

It doesn’t matter if the teacher isn’t actually shouting, she’s making at least two children cry because of her teaching style, so something isn’t right. They’re 5 years old ffs. I’d go to the head teacher and make sure it’s properly addressed.

kisstheblarney · 12/01/2024 20:08

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 15:46

I dont like teachers.
But what i dont understand is that a teacher can get a way with shouting but a parent is called abusive if they shout at their children.
So why is it to be accepted at a school by a stranger.

You don't like any teachers?

None of them?

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 20:11

kisstheblarney · 12/01/2024 20:08

You don't like any teachers?

None of them?

Read all the other quotes you will have your answer.

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 20:12

Bellsandthistle · 12/01/2024 19:43

Have you considered that maybe you’re the problem @doublexegg ?

Edited

just getting silly now.

cardibach · 12/01/2024 20:13

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 16:18

I implied nothing your making something out of nothing or trying to.
I said i dont like teachers thats not meaning one lump.

If I say I don’t like potatoes do you infer that I don’t like some sorts of potato? Some individual potatoes? Or all potatoes?

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 20:13

Mywhoopdeedoo · 12/01/2024 19:54

‘I don’t like teachers’ there’s quite a lot of us you know @doublexegg

I hope theres a lot of teachers we have a lot of schools.

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