Do I tell the Airbnb host?

[Henpartyfail]

I’m organising a hen party and the brief for accommodation was difficult because there’s quite a few of us. I finally found a property and thought I had read through the description carefully and it didn’t say anything about no hen parties. So I’ve booked it and just happened to notice that it actually does say no hen or stag parties.
I don’t want to be dishonest to the host but I don’t want to lose this house, it will be impossible to find another one.
We’re a group of all ages including grandparents and children. Not your typical hen party and it won’t be anything near wild, I know we will treat the property with respect. AIBU not to say anything?

If it says no it is for a reason sure people lie to hosts, I am not one of them

YABU and I find it hard to believe you didn’t notice it says no hen parties.

I didn’t notice, why would I say this if it wasn’t true. I somehow missed it. I wouldn’t be in this position if I had read it because I would have asked the host first before booking.

You could email the host about something like key collection and then at the end of the email after your sign off, in the finest of fine print mention its a hen party.

Brilliant 😆why didn’t I think of this.

Unless you are planning a mad piss-up party with glitter, party poppers/streamers, balloons, blow-up willies and have invited 10 Butler in the Buff oiled up strippers to attend, I wouldn't bother. From your description, it's a multi-generational get together which just so happens to be to celebrate an impending wedding. If you all behave and don't break the furniture and spill red wine on the carpets/beds you will be fine. Just take your bottles to the bottle bank at the end of your stay.
Disclaimer - not an AirBnB host.

You are breaking the terms of the agreement so actually the host can refuse you entry to the property or have you removed from the property (I am an Airbnb host)

In your situation, I would think about taking the celebrations off site to a restaurant or similar and using the house as a base to sleep in : then you would not be breaking the terms of the agreement and there is nothing to inform your host about

I do not allow parties/gatherings at my airbnb due to concerns about damage etc: if you are found to be breaking the terms of the agreement your host has a right to cancel your booking and airbnb will support them so you need to find a solution

If you trust the people joining you, and it isn't going to be anything like a typical hen party then I would just carry on and say nothing.

If it was a rowdy group of men or women with inflatable dicks etc then I wouldn't, but a celebration/family gathering including grandparents and children? Just crack on. Just because it is called a hen party doesn't mean it will be damaging to the property or cause a disturbance.

“You are breaking the terms of the agreement so actually the host can refuse you entry to the property or have you removed from the property”

Well this would put me off- ^ unless you aren’t planning to have a huge house party /dress up in hen outfit attire (some hosts live nearby or have friends who do).

I think it depends on your plans. If its several generations of family, although it's a hen night, it's probably not what the host has in mind when they've said none.

I'm sure the guests you've got going & the weekend you're planning isn't what the host is concerned about

Just don't think of it as a hen party. Think of it as a pre wedding family get together

This

We have an airbnb and say No Hen / Stag parties but people do contact me, describing something similar to your Hen party, and we always let them book. I tend to think if someone takes the time to ask and explain it’s not a ‘typical’ hen party then they are likely going to be fine. It’s a bit of a gamble for you in your situation though. To be honest, even if you didn’t ask, as long as you didn’t trash the place I wouldn’t care. Make sure there’s no glitter, it’s a nightmare for the cleaners!

I'd explain and see what they say

Does the property have a ring doorbell or similar? Because if so and they see a large grp of women arriving....

There is a bit of disingenuity in Op's post that I cannot let go. Everyone knows that renting airbnb properties for parties is a huge problem for hosts, an honest person would be explicitly searching for properties that are NOT party averse. OP knows that her chances of finding such a property are slim and seems to have ignored the rules on the property she booked. Being honest does not need a mumsnet consensus.
Hen parties or any other parties do need the permission of the airbnb host and there is no option other than full disclosure. You might luck out and find your host doesnt mind.

This. If you have kids and grandparents going I don’t think anyone will be thinking it’s a hen do anyway, unless you make it obvious with your outfits. Don’t worry about it, just keep the place clean.

Explain don’t take the risk they could kick u out and keep your money

explain you’ve already had the hen party but this is the get together for the bride with grandparents and children

There is a very big difference between a hen party with a group of young women only, versus what sounds more like a family event. If there are kids going, and you don't plan on having 2 days of penis straws and strippers, I probably wouldn't inform them.

I'd just email and explain that you missed it initially or you'd have got in touch before making the booking. That whilst technically it is a hen do explain it's not one in the traditional sense - outline what you'll be doing and who will be going and I'm sure it will be fine.

I wouldn't say anything. It's not a 'hen party' in the sense they are worried about, if you've children & grandparents attending.

There's no legal definition of a hen party, obviously they mean they don't want large same sex drunken groups .

If you are planning a multi generation afternoon tea type event then I don't see the need to mention it. Would you tell if it was a birthday party or baby shower?

A multigenerational trip inc children can easily be classified as a not-a-hen-do. I went away on holiday before I got married - wasn’t a hen do!

So not a hen party then. So no need to mention it.

I wouldn’t worry about it. The last hen party I went on the youngest person was 45 and we were all perfectly civilised.
You know WHY they have that rule. Would it apply to your group?

Well it’s not a group of women having a party; it’s a family trip celebrating an upcoming wedding so no I wouldn’t say anything as it’s not a hen party in how they mean it

Children don't go to a hen party so I wouldn't worry.