Do I tell the Airbnb host?

[Henpartyfail]

I’m organising a hen party and the brief for accommodation was difficult because there’s quite a few of us. I finally found a property and thought I had read through the description carefully and it didn’t say anything about no hen parties. So I’ve booked it and just happened to notice that it actually does say no hen or stag parties.
I don’t want to be dishonest to the host but I don’t want to lose this house, it will be impossible to find another one.
We’re a group of all ages including grandparents and children. Not your typical hen party and it won’t be anything near wild, I know we will treat the property with respect. AIBU not to say anything?

@stayathomegardener Do you really think it's a good idea to share enquiries from potential customers, including their names, on a public forum? Wow.

They’re just enquiries, nothing denigrating the people.

It’s only Christian names, not surnames and addresses

I wouldn’t worry. As others have said, they want to avoid the large groups of drunken people who will have no respect for the property.

I'm an Airbnb host and we say no stag or hens mainly for the reasons stated above.
As long as it doesn't say 'no same sex groups' and you are multi generational and don't go nuts late with music shouting etc you will be fine. I'd have no problem with it. We have same sex groups staying quite often and our rules are pretty clear re noise, parties etc. The property is next door to us and we've had no issues.

Could you let them know you’re having a get-together including children rather than a hen party as it doesn’t sound like a typical hen party anyway.

It says no hen parties then that’s because they don’t want a bunch of drunk women having a piss up.

If it’s not that sort of weekend (and it doesn’t sound like it) no you don’t have to mention it.

😬

We’re a group of all ages including grandparents and children. Not your typical hen party and it won’t be anything near wild, I know we will treat the property with respect. AIBU not to say anything?

A lot of people seem to have stopped reading before this bit. You aren't the kind of group they mean by 'hen party'. You might call it a hen in that it's a pre-wedding get-together for the bride but the risks to the property are not the same at all. Just call yourself a family gathering.

I used to work for a holiday company. The reason they say no hen dos is because they don't want a huge group of irresponsible people getting drunk/causing a nuisance/wrecking the property.

You are a group of all ages, including children. I really wouldn't worry unless you plan to be arseholes!

Are you planning some activities there or just using it to sleep and relax?

I am an Airbnb Host of several properties and I wouldn’t be bothered if you didn’t tell me
it sounds more like a family get together and the fact that it’s a hen party is a technicality
As long as you plan on treating the property with respect I don’t see why it matters. When hosts say no hen/stag dos it’s obvious what type of holiday they are concerned about and fair enough but that’s not the case here

I suppose you could contact the owner and explain as you have on here that it isn’t you typical Hen Do and hope they see things as I do and don’t think it’s a problem?
the people accusing you of lying about not seeing the ‘ no hen/stag parties’ are just on the wind up 😂 as you say why would you put yourself in that position and create this problem for yourself

When they say no hen parties they aren't thinking of hen parties like yours. I'd say I've just noticed, but although it's all going away with a bride before her wedding we have children to grandparents and what activities you have planned, and what you certainly don't. I guess that number of people and the booking is worth a bit so they probably won't want to cancel at short notice.

Will the hen party activities be happening IN the property or are you staying there to celebrate away from the house?

If you are a calm sober family group and won’t be partying in the house I wouldn’t say anything.

I camp with 3 other late middle-aged women to go walking and birdwatching. We are the quietest people on any site but we fall foul of the ‘no single sex groups’ rule that many have. So we book separately. And have never caused anyone any disturbance so not introduced the behaviour the rule is designed to prevent.

Yours isn't a Hen Party, it's a family gathering.
However, I would be discreet i.e. if you've got decorations (for either the accommodation or the bride to be!) then keep them out of view of the local residents. If there have been issues in the past it won't take much for someone to report you to the host.

How would the host even know you are there for a pre-wedding do? Unless you all show up on the ring doorbell in penis hats and pink tutus?

You are overthinking this OP.

Just call it a get together, or a birthday party, you can deny it’s a hen. That’s what I’d do.

@nameychangerrrrrr it sounds like you've never used Air bnb before because it's really easy to miss this detail on there!

@Henpartyfail I agree with other posters that if you aren't using the house as a party house (like a lot of hens do) with drinking and games at the house etc, then it's unlikely they'll have a problem with it during your stay. But if you tell them up front then it is likely they'll cancel your booking because they'll assume you're underplaying it anyway and won't want the risk - which isn't really fair!

The sort of issues with a party group apart from those possibilities mentioned up thread are

Noise and multiple cars upsetting any neighbours, general chaos of departure time not being adheared to (stopping prep for next booking), people leaving random objects and wanting them posted back to them. And even everyone being still asleep at departure time lol.

The reason this seems to happen with big friendship groups is no one is in charge/leading/taking responsibility for behaviour

Have you booked on your profile? If you don’t think you can manage your group to a respectful standard then come clean with the host and offer to rebook elsewhere.

Yours is not the kind of hen party airbnb hosts don’t want. It’s not really a hen party at all, simply a family holiday.

I manage a holiday rental and we don’t allow parties either. It’s not so much your kids and your gran, it’s the fact that with a larger number of people having a gathering, they’re generally less careful than someone on a break.

Stuff gets spilt and not wiped up, toilets end up a mess, kitchen stuff gets broken and in my experience, people just don’t bother to do even basic cleaning thinking that the host will have a cleaner coming in anyway.

I agree with other posters that the OP is being wide-eyed about ‘not noticing’ that the property doesn’t allow parties. Shame so many other posters seem to think it’s fine to be dishonest too.

I manage holiday rentals too and this wouldn’t be an issue. It’s just a regular multi-age family holiday. OP has not said anywhere that they would be having a “party” per se - but I ask that guests who want to hold an event at a house contact me first.

I’ve had people getting married or having events at houses with no issue.

I would be honest. It's your name on the booking form so if anything happens then you're liable. If I was the host I'd been thinking I don't want hens throwing up etc. etc. and ruining carpets. For a mixed group you can take out damage waiver (could be a child being sick, nothing to do with alcohol!) I would think that the host wouldn't want to lose the money for your trip. I recently went away to places and wanted to go against the rules of the houses with my family group. I asked if it was OK - it was - I got my deposit back quickly having made sure the property was left spick and span. Have fun!

I think attempting to differentiate between a ‘party’ and an ‘event’ and a ‘gathering’ is pure semantics. It amounts to the same thing which is a group of people in excess of the number the property hosts using it as a venue.

Personally, I would contact the host, explain and ask if they will allow it. Some places charge an additional deposit if you’re specifically booking it for ‘an event’ to try and cover damages or cleaning beyond standard.

As it happens, I’ve had people contact me to ask if they can have ‘an event’ and on a couple of occasions I’ve allowed the booking. Others I have refused because of the type of ‘event’ or the fact the guest was being shady about details.

Sorry but you can have an event which is limited to the guests staying - that’s quite common for birthdays, anniversaries etc.

As I said it’s not clear whether is any specific event in this case or whether it’s just a family holiday to celebrate a wedding.

When properties prohibit hen parties it’s because they don’t want a bunch of young adults getting hammered and messing up the furniture. It’s completely different to what OP is arranging.