Do I tell the Airbnb host?

[Henpartyfail]

I’m organising a hen party and the brief for accommodation was difficult because there’s quite a few of us. I finally found a property and thought I had read through the description carefully and it didn’t say anything about no hen parties. So I’ve booked it and just happened to notice that it actually does say no hen or stag parties.
I don’t want to be dishonest to the host but I don’t want to lose this house, it will be impossible to find another one.
We’re a group of all ages including grandparents and children. Not your typical hen party and it won’t be anything near wild, I know we will treat the property with respect. AIBU not to say anything?

Doesn't sound anything like a hen do, poor bride.

You could always pretend that you thought they were Scottish and asking if you were Hindu, hence you honestly said No (unless you are Hindu, I suppose)

I agree with most of the others upthread: they have just picked the nearest understood phrase that they can think of to convey what they aren't willing to accept, and one which would apply in most cases; but your multi-generation gathering is in no way what people saying 'No hen parties' would have in mind or be concerned about at all.

It's a bit like places that say no same-sex groups - technically a lesbian couple with two daughters would then be barred, but everybody knows that's not what they mean at all.

Poor bride? You have no idea what the bride wants. Not everyone wants to look at seeing Ng dicks and neck back the prosecco until they pass out in their own vomit and piss, Hun.

But 'hen party' isn't a legally defined entity, so the poster can rename it in her own mind as a pre-wedding get together, problem solved

Personally I just wouldn't label it a hen party. No need, as you say you're not a rowdy bunch found to cause chaos.

Hen night, in the usual context would mean a bunch of girlies all dressed up, maybe with inflatable objects attached to their person, getting totally wrecked which can take its toll on the property (& maybe neighbours).

it really does not sound like you are planning this, more of a family gathering? So I think you are good.

it is all about treating the property & neighbours with respect. For example this ‘dog friendly’ air bnb was not -
Airbnb cottage near Inverness trashed by puppy seller https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-67957235

they are definitely worried about loud noise, late night partying, sticking things on walls, vomit and strippers. If none of the above are happening don’t bother telling them! The re-brand is a good idea.

I was an Airbnb host with an apartment that declined hen/stag parties. But as per other posts, I actually meant no same-sex large 20/30yr old -something groups of antisocial piss-artists. A group of respectful multigenerational women having a weekend together would have been fine; that a wedding was or was not in their future diary plans would not be relevant.

With grandparents and children I wouldn’t bother! It doesn’t sound like your typical ‘hen party’ of a group of women that are friends.

I'd call it a bridal shower, then sorted :) as what you described isn't a hen do.

They'll cancel the booking so I wouldn't. Sounds more like a family gathering if there are grandparents and children going. Children aren't usually at a hen party are they.

I wouldn't say anything. When it says hen Party it refers to a large group of women getting drunk and potentially damaging the house.

This sounds like a family event.

The classification of hen party refers to behaviour.
Are you going to be doing any typical hen party stuff like getting very drunk, playing loud music, making noise at 3am, walking around in heels, sticking pictures of penises to the walls, being sick, getting make-up on soft furnishings, singing karaoke etc etc ?
if not, then you’re not a hen party, you’re a family get together.
my mum got married aged 59. We hired a house with aunties and cousins. My mum doesn’t really drink so there wasn’t any alcohol in the holiday house - we just had a glass of wine at a restaurant when out. We were technically a hen party but in practise we weren’t. I drank tea for 2 days!

The bride is getting exactly the kind of weekend that she wants, so it’s definitely not poor bride.
thanks for the replies, I actually feel a lot better about it as I know the group will really respect the property. We aren’t going to be getting blind drunk, none of the usual hen party ‘accessories’ and none of the usual games, so I think we should be ok and we won’t be using the term hen party anymore.

I would let them know, explain what you are planning on doing and they will probably be fine with it. If you email them now with what you are planning and ask if it's ok, they are likely to read it, digest it and think actually it sounds ok. Or if they don't and you sincerely apologise, they might refund your money, enabling you to do something else. If you leave it, they might not find out which would be fine. However, if one of the party slipped "hen party" in as you were picking up the keys and the host thought they thought "hen party NO" in a heated moment, they might turn you away and keep your money. It would be justifiable to tell you to leave because you were knowingly planning on violating their rules, but kept the booking. They could also argue that you blocked from taking another party who wouldn't violate the rules, and therefore it might be legal for them to keep all your money too!

We made our air b&b host neighbours put 'no hen or stag parties' in their listing because, well, imagine you had a hen party happening next door almost every night of the year.

I would tell them and let them cancel. They've put it on there for a reason.

Enjoy your stay. It's not a 'hen do' in the sense that would worry them, unless you are planning to get very pissed and hire a stripper. This is what they worry about. It's a family gathering, and the hen has chosen that to celebrate her forthcoming marriage. Don't invite trouble for yourself, morally there is no issue.

I would go. I mean, how wild could it possibly get with children in attendance?!

What's the difference between a 'party' and a 'gathering' and a 'hen do' and a '(multi generational) get together'? If a large Air BnB has been rented out then the owners will be expecting a large amount of people. The demographics of your group suggest that it is not a stereotypical hen party, so I don't think you need to say anything!

I think people ban stag and hen dos because they don’t want wild parties and lots of damages. As long as you’re not planning that, you’ll probably be fine.

We rented a big house for my friend’s stag do. It wasn’t the strippers and vomit type of stag do, we’re a mixed gender group and we just had a chilled weekend drinking wine and eating nice food.

The accommodation did say no stag dos (I didn’t book it) and I felt really bad we lied so I ran a really tight ship on decorations/banned items and tidying up. The host text to say it was the tidiest it’d ever been left, the cleaners had called him to check there had actually been guests in 😂

Children at hen party? Is it a hen party or family gathering?

I'm an airbnb host. We state we don't accept hen parties. But when I get messages from guests stating they're low key etc then I accept. It's more we just don't like wild drunk guests. I'd message them and explain

I would be honest as you have been here. I would say, it is a celebration for the bride but not the usual 'hen party' affair. There are 5 childre aged 4-10 coming and 3 grandparents. We are not going to be rowdy or drunk. Is it still OK?

When people say no hen parties what they mean is no complete pissups with lairy women screeching.

OP’s under no obligation to the tell the host anything from the info on here (I say that as a host). It’s not a hen party as the term is commonly understood but a multigenerational family holiday.

Agree it’s not a hen party if there are grandparents and children. As long as you’re sure it won’t be rowdy, maybe you could explain that its a pre-wedding family get-together so your conscience is clear.