Do I tell the Airbnb host?

[Henpartyfail]

I’m organising a hen party and the brief for accommodation was difficult because there’s quite a few of us. I finally found a property and thought I had read through the description carefully and it didn’t say anything about no hen parties. So I’ve booked it and just happened to notice that it actually does say no hen or stag parties.
I don’t want to be dishonest to the host but I don’t want to lose this house, it will be impossible to find another one.
We’re a group of all ages including grandparents and children. Not your typical hen party and it won’t be anything near wild, I know we will treat the property with respect. AIBU not to say anything?

Well it depends on what they say in booking

We have a rental, we say no parties. So it’s irrelevant whether it’s a hen party, birthday party etc.. but ours is a small property that sleeps maximum 4 people. So it’s catered for 4, and not large gatherings. We live at same property and it’s residential neighbourhood so it’s not for noisy gatherings. Obviously it’s fine if 4 people stay and it’s a birthday and they have drinks and a cake, but not to use the venue to invite more people.

If you have booked a large 5 bedroom property that’s remote and won’t affect anyone else then it’s probably fine as just normal numbers for that booking.

Well the dictionary definition is a group of “women” celebrating, so considering there’s going to be children I don’t think you actually fulfil the criteria! I would stay quiet 🤫

It's not a hen party if grandparents and children are involved. It's just a family get together. This host is avoiding hen parties where people get so drunk, they don't know what they're doing. They mess up the house and trash the place.

Airbnb superhost here, I think the key thing is how many does the property sleep and are you planning on inviting additional guests to the "event"?
If so I'd be expecting you to ask prior to arrival if not crack on but without the glitter,

It’s not a hen party. It’s a relaxing pre wedding getaway for close family and friends.

The main things the host does not want are:
Glitter
Vomit
Noise
Inappropriate behaviour outside the property
Body oil
Wine spillage
Broken fixtures and fittings

If your gathering doesn't involve any of those, I don't think it's the kind of gathering the host is talking about.

Some guests really push their luck, we state no events etc and still get requests like this.

To clarify our booking page says we sleep four.

It doesn't sound like the type hen party the host is keen to avoid.

Start calling it something else if it makes you feel better. "Pre wedding family trip"

How about contacting the host and saying something like “I just wanted to let you know that this is a multi-generation pre-wedding celebration, but as there will be children and elderly people there, it’s clearly not a hen party in the normal sense where people will be getting drunk or having a stripper! I thought I should let you know in case you saw balloons/banners/printed t-shirts and got concerned”

Surely you accept as the owner of a large property that the reason people stay there is to have a bit of a party together?

@Henpartyfail it doesn’t sound like a typical hen party based on the attendees including children, more of a pre-wedding family celebration which is how I would term it to the host instead, whilst referencing that guests include grandparents and children. Center parks have the same policy for example, but when we contacted them they said they mean not typical things you’d have like strippers, costumes etc. So they were fine if there’s more reserved intentions.

I wouldn't let the host know.

We all know what stag and hen party is a code for, and this is not the make up of your trip, unless you're planning loud late nights and wrecking the place.

I would be up front ring or email to say it is a pre wedding gathering but not a “hen party” as such as mixed age and sex and you are a responsible group.

It doesnt sound like you are organising a hen party it sounds like a family gathering.

If you have no concerns about damage or noise I think it's fine. If it's a large place, like sleeps 12, then they must expect 12 people to occupy it when making a booking.

I think by hen party they mean a group of young women getting pissed, throwing up and damaging the property. You are a family group celebrating a forthcoming wedding. It’s not the same. I wouldn’t mention it.

When booking my best friend's hen party the host said no stags/hens, I got in touch and explained we were all mid thirties professionals looking to do nice dinners and chill rather than anything else and the host was fine with it.

Are you planning on having bride sash, crowns, banners? Or other stuff like that? If yes, then I'd let the host know and explain that this is a family pre-wedding event but won't be rowdy. Just in case host finds out from these decorations.

If not then I wouldn't worry about it.

It's a family gathering ahead of a wedding, not a hen party.

Reframe it in your mind. It really doesn't sound like the kind of group that will be up til 3am disturbing the neighbours.

Are you planning bucket loads of alcohol? Is anyone likely to be sick on the carpet? Will you behave differently to if it was any other family gathering?

If the answer to all of the above is no then I think you are fine and best not to mention it. Just don't stick a hen party banner to the front door.

As others have said, it entirely depends on what the weekend is going to consist of.

Many years ago I went on a “hen weekend” in a rental house in Scotland. There were about 10 of us. It was remote so we didn’t go to pubs or restaurants. We brought food, cooked, ate, sat around chatting, someone did a quiz. On the Sunday we went for a walk before heading home. The bride-to-be didn’t wear a tiara, there was no stripogram, no inflatables, no loud music. We had alcohol but no one got wasted. Basically, you would never have known it was a hen party. It was just a group of young woman having a weekend away. If that’s the sort of thing you’ve got planned, I wouldn’t say anything.

I’d email ahead and say it’s a family getaway with children and grandparents, but one of the family members is getting married shortly and so there may be a buffet and family friendly party games to celebrate that. Say you’re conscious that might be construed as a hen party, but it won’t be a drunken affair as there will be children there to look after so you just wanted to check that wouldn’t cause any issues.

Exactly what I was thinking.

I don’t think you need to tell them. Is everyone female? A hen party or a stag do is very specifically a group of women or men only. As your gathering includes grandparents and children, it sounds more like a family gathering

The reason why we say “no hen/stag” is not because we are against these specific events. We are against a bunch of 20-somethings trashing our property with alcohol spills, vomit and mountains of after-party rubbish. If you are not planning to have a massive piss-up at the property, I wouldn’t mind you not disclosing to me. I mostly avoid this type of crowd by limiting my guest numbers to maximum of three adults.

No, a stupid idea. Compounding the error.
Why not just ‘thanks, my children and their Nan are so looking forward to our get together for a little celebration this evening’ or similar.