Do I tell the Airbnb host?

[Henpartyfail]

I’m organising a hen party and the brief for accommodation was difficult because there’s quite a few of us. I finally found a property and thought I had read through the description carefully and it didn’t say anything about no hen parties. So I’ve booked it and just happened to notice that it actually does say no hen or stag parties.
I don’t want to be dishonest to the host but I don’t want to lose this house, it will be impossible to find another one.
We’re a group of all ages including grandparents and children. Not your typical hen party and it won’t be anything near wild, I know we will treat the property with respect. AIBU not to say anything?

But the t&cs aren't saying parties or events aren't allowed, it's saying hen parties and stag dos not allowed.

OP, are you even having a party? Or are you a 'party of 10' having a gathering?

We travelled a long distance to attend a hen party at an airbnb. We assumed the organiser had let the owner know.

We ended up being kicked out at half 12 at night. Driving home at that time was horrible. I'm still furious about it. Thank god I wasn't drinking.

Please let your guests know if you plan on doing this. At least then they can be aware the host might ask you all to leave.

As there are children there you are just having a family gathering and not a hen party in the usual sense. If you tell your host it is a hen party they will cancel the booking.

It also depends whether you are having people not staying in the property come to the property to celebrate, and whether your plans inside the property include holiday type activities or hen party type activities.

Exactly. Are they hosting an event/s for the booked guests? Additional externals? Will alcohol be involved?

If no to all of these then it’s just a holiday and you’re fine, any events & you need to notify the host.

What you're organising is categorically NOT a hen party OP. Dictionary definition:

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/hen-night

'Female friends'.

Not children, grandparents, dogs, whatnot.

'No parties' and 'no hen/stag' do's not the same thing. You need to confirm that parties are allowed. The hen bit is irrelevant this is just a family gathering.

I'd ask the host. What if a guest says 'I'm at the hen party' to a neighbour or similar

That's exactly what I did when organising something similar for a friend. It was a lovely weekend in a big house with pool!

Pretend you are part American and call it a bridal shower

If it includes grandparents and children, it’s hardly a typical hen party, is it? If any question arises, I’d just say it’s a family party.

What that clause really means is that they don't want a loads of Fiat 500 huns leaving fake tan smears on all the sheets and holding each other's extensions back while they thrown up their tenth pornstar martini over the decking.

If you're not planning on playing 'take a shot for every bloke you've slept with' while you're there, it won't be a problem.

There's no legal definition of a hen party so just rename your event in your head as a friends and family gathering (and don't all turn up in tops saying "I'M ON A HEN DO") and bingo, no issues. Honestly it doesn't sound like you're the kind of party that hosts are worried about, so I don't think you'd have anything to feel bad about.

Thanks everyone for your helpful responses. I drafted a message to the host but when I read it back, I feel like it might make her suspicious of me. Just like some people on here didn’t believe I missed reading the rules properly. She might not believe me. For those who doubt I was genuine, it really was a mistake, one I feel completely stupid over.
I’ve read a lot of reviews on the property and I can see that many guests have done the same type of activities we’re planning, so it’s nothing out of the ordinary. I will have to rename as a little gathering. I did want to get some kind of T-shirts printed as a surprise for the bride to be but will definitely refrain from doing that! Thanks all.

End of the day its the hosts property and they are entitled to rent it out based on the terms they are comfortable with. Not sure why people can't just respect that and feel the need to just do whatever they like and let's not tell the host and do it anyway. 🙄

If your property sleeps 10 and 10 people stay and have family evenings then I don't see the problem - the op is not inviting additional people by the sounds of it.

I is a family holiday to celebrate an upcoming wedding and it is not what is meant by hen and stag parties imo when venues and accommodation refer to them.

@maddening yes that’s true, no additional visitors other than the ones staying.

What that clause really means is that they don't want a loads of Fiat 500 huns leaving fake tan smears on all the sheets and holding each other's extensions back while they thrown up their tenth pornstar martini over the decking.

😂

Unless you are having glitter everywhere and loud music I wouldn’t worry, I used to manage a large holiday house and they had a no hen party rule but as the manager I found they were less hassle than the large family groups as they were out and about mostly whereas the family groups (usually parents in their 30’s) left mess everywhere as they knew a cleaner was going in.

Then properties I manage are abroad and high end so we don’t get hen/stag parties per se but we do get single sex holidays. But the most recent creators of an unprecedented mess were a family party with grandparents and kids.

Equally I’ve had groups of retired professionals who drank more than you could conceive anyone could in a week and left all their bottles piled up for the house manager to deal with.

The thing about this kind of thing is ' damage limitation'. Has everyone involved got their own room /bed.
Just to be on the safe side you could limit ALCOHOL in the said property ( that usually limits chaos)
Just carry on, though if it all goes pear shaped and there is substantial damage ,it probably is not covered by owners insurance so you could be open to prosecution./ Litigation.
AND you all may have to LEAVE EARLIER than planned to avoid owner seeing you all.

I would let them know, but I'd open the conversation with the fact that kids and nannas will be present. It's more of a 'pre wedding get together for females' 😅

That sounds more like a family gathering than a hen party?

No additional attendees it's all good in my book.

People need to stop encouraging the op to lie. They are fully aware it is a hen party! Email the host and explain and see what they say! Meanwhile, start looking for alternative accommodation!

All in the branding. You are now having a family get together. Problem solved. So long as you do not get wrecked and trash the place then I think you are fine.