Is X unreasonable expecting me to use child benefit to buy DDs clothes?

[Flowerpower333]

Who is being unreasonable here?
DH and I have split up and he gets keys to his new house on Friday.
We’ve just started talking about how to divide paying for DD’s things.
We will share custody, and since we split up, I have been the one to take her on holiday as he doesn’t like going on holiday. He will probably never take her on holiday except to visit relatives to sit in their house eating their food. (minimal costs)
towards DDs holidays. DH wants me to use the child benefit to buy DDs clothes instead. Am I being unreasonable to think that he should pay for half of her clothes and allow me to use the child benefit for her cultural education, as outlined above?

Cultural education or cultural capital, it’s a thing and yes it’s important but as you’re splitting up you won’t presumably have the disposable income you had and I don’t think you can insist your ex husband puts as much importance on it as you do.

You still haven’t said how old your daughter is?

I think you’ve raised a few eyebrows with ‘she loves city breaks’ as if this entitles her to keep having them. That’s a luxury and one you need to decide whether to continue with.

We are comfortable but haven’t got loads of disposable income (I’m risk averse so save a good portion of income). My children still have ‘cultural education’ museums are free, I look for free events run by councils, cheap local theatre, free music performances, cheap deals to eat out at different places, cheap days out to forest/beach, use the library all the time and by secondhand books for them. You don’t need to spend lots.

That’s why my husband worked 40 hours a week, to pay bills and provide food!

Fucking he’ll @Bertiesmum3 not only are you tone deaf in regards to CB but ‘your husband worked 40 hours’ as though the rest of us are sat around on our arses doing nothing. Not only does my husband work more than 40 hours but I also have to work too to keep a roof over our kids heads. Take a look at the real world & the cost of living that many of us are struggling with even with two parents working more than 40 hours each

Gosh, well done to him. 🙄

I'm assuming all of this was some time ago so not really relevant anyway.

Why did only your husband work 40 hours?

The OP continues to swerve the question of the age of the child who loves city breaks. I am guessing 3-4 years old.

I needed every penny of the child benefit for bills (so we had a roof over our heads) and food.

I'm not surprised you've split up lol

Guessing you didn't work? Maybe if you had your husband wouldn't have had to work so much. FYI We both work and provide to pay the bills. I wonder if your children might have appreciated some of that money on treats and experiences?

Not everyone has a husband or has one who is able to work, not everyone is earning enough to cover these expenses, that is what child benefit is for.

@Bertiesmum3 you were on a thread this month complaining about your landlord, I remember your name as I have a friend with a Bertie who is three.

So do I, and I'm a lone parent. What's your point?

As I haven’t got a landlord 🤣🤣
you’ve got the wrong person

You need to read the whole thread as to why I posted what I did

Then maybe you post on threads and don’t tell the truth, I don’t know!

xH kept the joint account into which CB was paid; I said that would be his account for now on & the CB would cover my share of DS's food (DS was a teen, lots of food to cover, CB only covers some of it, DS stayed with xH).

imho, allocate the CB to an essential expense that you both naturally share. Going on holiday with her is your privilege, you not him will benefit from the time with her or the cultural fun.

That was the house we were living in back in 1985-1989, 🤣🤣
Yes it was condemned due to damp, and my daughter had a heart defect so it was awful!!!