Is X unreasonable expecting me to use child benefit to buy DDs clothes?

[Flowerpower333]

Who is being unreasonable here?
DH and I have split up and he gets keys to his new house on Friday.
We’ve just started talking about how to divide paying for DD’s things.
We will share custody, and since we split up, I have been the one to take her on holiday as he doesn’t like going on holiday. He will probably never take her on holiday except to visit relatives to sit in their house eating their food. (minimal costs)
towards DDs holidays. DH wants me to use the child benefit to buy DDs clothes instead. Am I being unreasonable to think that he should pay for half of her clothes and allow me to use the child benefit for her cultural education, as outlined above?

has he refused to buy clothng for her or anything else whislt at his?

We have 50:50 and we both pay for our own holidays, DLA is split equally and so is child benefit. It’s the fairest way. We also buy our own clothes for our own houses for the kids.
he’s right!

What?! Why should her Dad help pay for a holiday he isn’t going on? If you want to take her on holiday - you pay.

Also he earns about 4x more than I do but that doesn’t matter it’s what’s fair and equal

This!!! You’re not together so why should he??

Would he be entitled to child benefit on his wage or is it only in play because of your lower salary?

Hang on a minute!
people spend Their child’s benefit???
when my children got their benefits I split it between them and it went into their savings accounts and they got it back when they bought their houses!

Yes in the real world I use it for food shops etc.

You can do what you like. Presumably you spent different money on your children. They aren't shoeless and sweeping chimneys for food.

It's designed to be spent on your children. That's the point of it.

ive never looked into it but as he has the children 50:50 it’s the fair thing to do. None of us are more entitled to it it’s for the children

Madam child benefit is not for you to take city breaks or whatever. The child benefit is exactly that for the childs benefit,clothes,books shoes etc etc

Do you also think you can take DC out of school in term time for holidays because experiencing other cultures is good for their education?

Maybe take a second to think just how lucky you are that you are able to do that!

So? If it’s 50/50 care why should she?

That’s literally what it’s for 😂. To spend.

It was originally intended for mother's to make sure they had some money in case the main male earner drank away his wage. Also to help contribute to a state pension for her. Plus a mother usually earns less than the father due to having the child.

What kind of bubble do you live in that would lead you to say something so tone deaf?

Yes, most people spend it. That is exactly what it's there for.

Child benefit, to benefit the child!
my adult children were very grateful that I saved there’s and gave them it towards the deposit for a house

It's to spend on whatever you want. There is no rule saying you can only spend it on certain things.

I get my salary, UC, child benefit and child maintenance. It all goes into the same pot, DS gets what he needs, bills are paid and then whatever is left I will spend on whatever I fancy.

Do you really not realise how privileged you are to be able to save it?

Children also benefit from food, warmth, clothes, a roof over their heads…

Definitely clothes first. After all, what’s she going to wear on her ‘cultural education’ otherwise 🙄 CHB is for necessities, not luxuries.

Buying them food, buying them clothes or even a day out to the cinema or soft play benefits the child. I am surprised you have only just realised many can't afford to save it. Mine get a £5 from it to save but not much more.

Cultural education?? 😂🤔

Child benefit isn't for holidays, its for the costs of feeding and clothing etc.