To ask at what age children need you the most

[Hiraeth20]

I’m considering retraining in a field which will give me more money and will hopefully allow me to work part time whilst maintaining the lifestyle we enjoy.

The training itself will be full time over 3 years so I’m interested to know from those who have adult children at which stage you felt your kids needed you most so I can decide when to retrain. I have a 3 year old and my feeling is that as he gets older he will benefit from me having more time to dedicate to school pick ups, clubs, activities etc., so it’s best to do the training now and get it out of the way. We would also like another child so this is something to consider.

Of course it’s a very individual decision but I’d be interested to hear from others and their experiences.

My 4dc are aged between 16 and 32 and definitely the teen years. Just before Christmas I worked a few weeks 6 out of 7 days ( I knew there wouldn't be much work after Christmas) and I really feel dd16 suffered from not having me available (very tiring work). Obviously when they're very young they need you but not so much emotionally.

Mine is also y11 - doing mocks atm - predicted all 9s and never had a behavioural point and 100% attendance since she was at primary. I still feel she needs me to be available emotionally.

You don't need to limit working hours to be available emotionally though.

No, but my teens appreciated me being home when they got in from school - about 1645 and talking through their day. Also being there at breakfast. Now I only have the one at home but my eldest two were very close in age and each needed me at different times.

Meh, I don't think it does them any harm to wait until work is done. We have a great relationship but I'm happy for DS to learn that not everything can be dropped immediately just because he fancies a chat and that I have a life as well.

I never understand the pride about 100% attendance.
It's just pure luck that she never got covid or a tummy bug, etc.

@Hiraeth20
I was constantly getting picked up by relatives from school and spending time with them around the ages of 6-8 and I absolutely hated it. I just wanted my mum and my own home. It really impacted my self confidence for years, I was getting bullied in year 3 by best friend and didn't feel I could tell anyone.

As a teen I was very much into school work and chatting with friends after school, I didn't desire to spend much time with parents rather I was on the computer/phone a lot. This is my experience but being there in those early school years are pretty important.

Echo teen years. Such a difficult time for them, they need all the support you can muster.