To not be thrilled about these tattoos?

[MrsHoney123]

Just wondered how others would feel if their DH of nearly 30 years whom they’d raised three kids with decided in his late 50s to get both his upper arms completely tattooed? Pictures are a skull, a load of roses and a snake.

I'd find that sexy AF but then, I like tattoos on men so, not a problem for me

Oh, I don't know - plenty of northern grandmothers in their 50s walking round like that on Cornish campsites every summer.

It would mean divorce for me if it was the ones mentioned in the OP! But that's because I have a snake phobia.
It sounds like a lot of pain to go through at once.

I wouldn’t like it. Not just the tattoos but specifically this kind. I wouldn’t be too fond of a skulls, roses and snake sleeve.

Looks don't matter.

@treeinthedistance So you wouldn't rather find a lover/partner more attractive than less attractive? Everyone would rather have a partner they were attracted to. It's important (or at least a bonus) to all of us.

I hate tattoos they are so ugly to me, but up to him. I probably wouldn't want to have sex with him though!

If he were my husband l mean!

It’s quite a choice. I quite like tattoos, but to go from nothing to two sleeves screams midlife meltdown to me.

Personally I have A LOT of very visible tattoos - my DH doesn’t. Due to owning a wine bar we rub elbows with a lot of high end restaurant owners and famous chefs. We go to wine tastings weekly and eat at Michelin star restaurants monthly. We live what those would say is a “fancy lifestyle.” I pinch myself thinking about how lucky we are to live the life we live sometimes. I have never felt out of place or like I’m not classy due to my tattoos. I’ve never felt tacky as I don’t live a tacky lifestyle or dress tacky.

Tacky to me would be someone who would judge someone based on how they look, snide nasty people often come to mind. Some of the most classy people I’ve met have all looked extremely unique, I find classy people often command a room and have interesting things to say.

I would think mine was going through a midlife crisis - I'd be surprised but it wouldn't look too out of place on him as he is that sort of style generally. I'd be a bit disappointed with the skull and snake but wouldn't mind roses, as long as they were done well.

As someone with tattoos this would definitely raise an eyebrow.
No one should feel that they need to ask for permission or approval over a tattoo but the lack of communication in this situation is what would concern me most.. surely there was no reason for this to be a ‘secret’

@porridgeisbae Sure, it's a bonus. I never said that it wasn't. But what I care about most, more than looks, is being with someone who loves me and cares about me and is kind to others. I couldn't care less about their having a non-offensive tattoo on their arm.

Some people find tattoos unattractive, and that's perfectly OK. But to me, actual divorce and splitting up a family over it seems extreme.

My son decided to get tattoos on his lower legs
initially I was 😳but I’m used to them now.

Tattoos are much more mainstream now.

I don’t have any- but that’s probably because I’m too old😂

@MrsHoney123 are you not replying?

Posters are very pc saying "his body, his choice".

I would laugh at my husband, then I would laugh at him some more and then I would be pestering him day and night not to get these tattoos.

OK I'll bite.

I knew someone would spout this daft chestnut. Of course my DH wouldn't leave if my appearance changed because of surgery or illness or an accident. Just like I would not leave him if he couldn't work because of illness or disability ... I said I would not tolerate a man who could not be fucked to work, not one who COULDN'T work because of illness or disability. Similarly he would not leave me if the change in my appearance was not my fault/not my choice.

However, not giving a shit about his opinion, and CHOOSING to cover myself in tattoos - which some men, particularly 45+ do not like to see on a woman, is completely different to your appearance changing because of illness disability or surgery.

But then you knew that, didn't you?

I reiterate, it must be a shit relationship if someone has something as permanent as tattoos, and does not give a shit that their husband/wife doesn't like them.

As long as he is aware of potential ramifications and doesn't complain about them, you're right

hmm…if he laughed at your new, expensive dress/haircut how would you feel?

@Nanny0gg @hotpotlover Exactly! Can't think much of your partner if you think 'fuck them and their opinions!' It's not just YOUR CHOICE when you are in a long term relationship with someone! Not with tattoos that are PERMANENT.

FFS!

Yeah, because that is EXACTLY the same as covering yourself in permanent tattoos! 🙄

I despair!

Ok, I’ll bite back….if the tattoos are that much of an issue I’d wager it’s not a great relationship (not allowing each other to express themselves or evolve)…they are your partner, not your pet/property

Actually makes me understand why they bugger off with someone else in middle age to be honest…

They're not permenant

I've been married nearly 30 years and I'd be totally floored and upset if my DH did this.

It would be a total personality transplant whihc would worry and distress me.
It would also put me off fancing him whihc would be a concern.
And I'd be upset that he didn't care anymore about my views or being attractive to me which neither would be a good sign for our marriage.

For me it would be alarm bell city.

I think sometimes tattoos can look a bit rough.

A snake, skull and roses may be a bit......"biker"?

Not nice if you go on nice holidays to decent places in France for example, or entertain classy dinner guests etc.

I don't know, but I would worry it's the start of a mid-life crisis and more surprises would be around the corner.

Or even permanent. 😁