To not be thrilled about these tattoos?

[MrsHoney123]

Just wondered how others would feel if their DH of nearly 30 years whom they’d raised three kids with decided in his late 50s to get both his upper arms completely tattooed? Pictures are a skull, a load of roses and a snake.

I’ve already posted this to another user but what would happen if you were to be insecure about something and had surgery such as a breast aug/face lift? Would you not do it because your husband says so? Just seems such a silly outlook - neither of you are in control of the other.

Imagine if he posted on a forum saying he’s mortified that you had surgery and had a load of guys egging him on saying you were wrong to do that because he didn’t want you to. It’s not normal behaviour to be so controlling!

All this 'his body his choice' when you are in a lifelong partenership is really the most simplistic naive idea currently dominating the culture.

Marriages last because you consider your partner and the partnership in all decisions. The idea you can do all sorts of weird things to or with your body and your distressed partner has to just suck it up is really not how realstionships work.

It's the most childish view imaginable.

Also laser removal is so good now that tattoos aren’t permanent. They can be removed it just takes time and money (just like a bad hair job.)

If my dh did this I’d think he was having some sort of breakdown.

Yes, it screams council estate and low-income. Sad, but true....

Wouldn't bother me

@SheFliesLikeABirdInTheSky my dealbreaker is the word “bullpoo” 🙄

Nope it wouldn't appeal to me or DH which was an important factor in our early relationship building that we don't like tattoos and we certainly wouldn't dream of just going out and doing something that significant without the prior knowledge of the other.

A tattoo isn't as important as our relationship, trust etc. but that's just us in our relationship which has nothing whatsoever to do with you in your relationship / marriage. Each to their own.

thing is, once you've done that, it's permanent and there's no going back.

😂 I feel like we know EXACTLY what this poster is like in real life just from that word.

It would be up to my husband, his body his choice, but I know he would discuss it with me first as he knows I hate them on anyone.

Ha no, too busy working to pay for his new body art. I’ve still got Zoom meetings at 8pm and the 10pm with clients in the US before I go to bed. <yawn>

As has been said, it is his body, but I'd kind of expect to be warned or ideally asked if it's OK with me. As to reaction to them , well, that depends on context. If he's an old goth/rocker, maybe those tatts are on-brand, but for my husband for example, I'd find those tattoos worryingly out of character and wonder if he was having some sort of midlife crisis!

I find (well done, original) tattoos pretty sexy, so if DH turned up with an interesting full sleeve I'd probably find it hot. But his mum would probably never speak to him again! 😂

The fact its " his body his choice" is the bit that makes him a moron. If he had a gun held to his head or he was unconscious I could understand.

100% @SheFliesLikeABirdInTheSky

I cannot fathom the mentality of someone in a partnership getting something as permanent as tattoos done, without any warning or discussion beforehand and not caring what their partner thinks.

I guess its very much down to the dynamics of the relationship - let's face it some people have open relationships so this is just an additional dimension of that, not caring about what they're up to.

@SheFliesLikeABirdInTheSky i dont think I’d be able to sleep at night if I thought my DH would leave me if I chose to change my physical appearance. But you seem very secure and happy with the dynamic between you and your wonderful-sounding husband. Good luck to you!

I would as I can't bear to look at them

It would be interesting to know once you've finished slaving away on Zoom, poor you! if your DH had ever broached the subject of him wanting a tattoo at any stage in your 30 year marriage?

.... or did he literally rock up one day with his arms covered in roses and anchors? 😱

Indeed

What is wrong with having a low income or living on a council estate?

Or if he simply likes tattoos, maybe? Just a thought. Doesn't make him a moron.

I do feel he should have talked it over with OP though, especially in light of the cost involved.

I've holidayed in nice places. Stayed at the Ritz and the Shard. I have loads of tattoos. Am I supposed to feel inferior in these kind of places? I paid the same money as everyone else.

I'd be interested in hearing the answer to this too.

I agree- this is just silly. I know quite a few people who are loaded and have tattoos - they go to "classy" places all the time. Do you think those places refuse their money because they have tattoos? 😂😂😆

Imagine if a woman came on here and said her husband had threatened to divorce her if she got her ears pierced.

Same as you @Beezknees hubby works in fine wine, we also own a wine bar ourselves and we often travel to France for tastings and eat at Michelin star restaurants. I’m covered head to toe in tattoos including my hands and chest and no one has batted an eyelid.

@penjil very very odd statement and I feel you maybe haven’t left the house in a long time.