Anger and sadness at this interaction with homeless person

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Tonight, a polite homeless man named Kevin told me he secured a spot in a 12-week program at St Mungo's after a year of homelessness. He needed £7.50 urgently to go there tonight and had been trying all day. Skeptical, I regretfully declined, later realizing he might have been genuine.

I'm replaying the whole conversation in my head and now I think I recall him almost bursting into tears as he asked if there was any way at all I could help him.

This one might have been genuine and I'm so disgusted with myself.

I could have helped. I had a £5 note in my purse....and I am fortunate enough that I wouldn't miss it or notice it gone.

And at the same time I'm also so angry at scammers of this thing. If someone stood in front of you asking begging for a small amount of money to help them and you knew it was genuine OF COURSE all of us would help! But genuine people don't get the help they need because scammers make people have attitudes like mine tonight.

There is no way to phone st Mungo's now to 'pre pay' for Kevin should he turn up tonight....meanwhile I'm going home to sleep in my warm bed and work my lovely job tomorrow.

Poor Kevin, I'm sorry I didn't help you.

You're better off giving to homeless charities

Very wise with 1 and 2. Never give money though as it's likely to be used for drink/drugs which is often why they are in the state they are in. Offer to buy a ticket (in this case) and they will likely decline as they are after only one thing; if they accept the offer then obviously they are genuine.

More generally though you can't go wrong with giving sandwiches and tea/coffee, as well as some words of encouragement.

For that reason i make a £10 monthly donation to the Glasshouse homeless charity near me in London. I passed a guy so many times I was sure was a scammer but couldn't live with the possibility he wasn't - so I've done a direct contribution for the past 5 years

Whilst I understand that it feel patronising & dehumanising to not allow adults the choice of how to spend their money the reality is that £20 would have been enough to kill my friend at that particular time. He became seriously unwell less than 24 hours after being picked up and imo there is a good chance he would not have made it into hospital from the streets. A bottle of spirits would have been enough to prevent him engaging with the rough sleepers team.

Addiction is very complex obviously but I just cannot and will not fund drugs or alcohol directly because ime it’s access to money which immediately keeps people in extremely vulnerable places.

I'm not morally offended about being lied to to get money for drugs or booze and think it's fair enough to take a chance and give, but OP was not "bang out of order" for not giving the money. She doesn't have to.

How about we stop this abhorrent government enabling the destruction of the last vestiges of compassion for those who most need it?

Great idea, all for it. How?
I didn't vote for them, did you?
It's really not that simple. If it was they wouldn't have been flushing our country down the toilet for the last decade plus.
But enjoy your simplistic outrage if it helps you.

I never give money to people begging for it on the street. They tend to ask women specifically because they think we’re an easy target - basically, they’re banking on the fact that a lot of women have a hard time saying no or disappointing people.

When I was in school, there was a man who always stood by a nearby street with a sign reading WILL WORK FOR FOOD. Some of the older girls I knew went shopping one day and bought him a whole big box filled with non-perishable food. When they tried to give it to him, he stared at them for a few seconds and then just ignored them.

I act on the principle that if I can afford it, I give. If it's a scam, so what? If it isn't, then the person's life is a bit easier.

Yes totally agree, although I do remember being told some sob story for a bus ticket and actually pulling out a bus ticket for him (our city sells them in multi-packs). Saw him 2 minutes later trying to sell the bus ticket onto somebody else, which has made me wary of doing even that sadly.

You should never give money to beggars. I’ve worked for the homeless and part of our role was educating the public about not giving the homeless money. It doesn’t help, not one bit.

Yes - charities help those in genuine need. Otherwise you're either funding someone's next fix and/or organised crime in some way.

Oh poor you. How awful that you feel bad for not believing a vulnerable person on the streets.

Christ.

7.50 isn't a small amount of money to me and get a lot of beggars because I am 60 and female.
I tend to be utterly cynical as the local addicts beg all the time.

Don't lose sleep over it! I'm sure you were nicer than most people are.

I've noticed that they're working the tube and trains a lot - nearly always the same demographic 99% male and quite young. Bit of a giveaway if you ask me

I still feel bad about the time my uncle bustled past a young lad, saying no. It was night, it was London. But me & my aunt would have given him something. And it was Christmas…

But, I’ve lived centrally in London, Paris & Dublin. It’s very sad.

Don’t beat yourself up OP. You went with your gut and that’s the best we can do.

But we do need to be aware that homelessness (and hunger - food insecurity) is a growing problem and more and more people are in need of help.

I give money to people on the street if I’m asked for it.

I always wonder how vulnerable male drug addicts actually are - my brother has taken the piss out of my mother for the last 30 years.

Yes, I know we don't know about Kevin, but it's highly likely.

The ignorance on here about giving the homeless money is really surprising. Don’t do it, it doesn’t help. Give to charity or buy a hot drink and some food.

My mother once offered food to a woman. She only wanted money though she said her child was hungry. Apparently the child had to have milk. Begging with your kid seems like the worst manipulation to me.

His story is unlikely to be true because the charity would have ensured he could get there.

There are beggars who tell these sorts of stories and there are those who just ask for money. I think the story-tellers do it for two reasons: they're more likely to score a donation, but they also probably do feel a need for the sympathy, even though their story isn't true. They get treated like deserving unfortunates and that boosts the self-esteem.

It is never 'bang out of order' to refuse to hand money over to someone just because they have asked for it.

I'm sure the people who think you're bang out of order don't live in an area where begging has reached the point that people can't use certain areas because the antisocial behaviour associated with begging and those who do it.

I won't go into huge details, but the hostel story is a line trotted out a lot. I used to fall for it, but you'll often see them continue begging, straight away after you've given them what they ask, and more.

If people give the money, it becomes an expectation and the begging gets worse.

I know lots of people who are in contact with the homeless in our town, many really are not homeless. Many actually have access to a fair amount of money via the benefits system. By the time they get help with housing through the services they've reached the point that UC will pay their rent direct to the council or private landlord, which means keeping a roof over their head is fairly easy. They have somewhere to go atleast.
The money they get from begging is a huge amount more than they receive in benefits..
In fact, one of the newer beggars in our town is a friend of my dads, he was earning £115 cash in hand on top of his benefits doing painting for people which was dutifully spent on drugs. He now begs, he has a flat...looks unlikely that he will be evicted, he had it raided because of his drug use but the council weren't particularly interested past replacing his front door.
Begging pays much better for less effort he told me.

St Mungos won’t charge him- take a look at their website. There is an option to donate online if you would like. Don’t feel bad, you spoke to him most people would simply move on and ignore.

I worked in homelessness in London for five years. The hostels we worked with never operated via direct cash payments, but via the benefits system. I don't give cash to people begging.

The vast majority of people begging are genuinely homeless. For some people that is a "choice" based on not fancying the alternative (maybe due to perceived risks there, not liking the rules set by the hostel etc) However in our city the Severe Weather Emergency Protocol (SWEP) is currently in action whereby everyone is given somewhere to sleep overnight to prevent them freezing to death. It only runs when the temperatures drop below freezing.

St Mungos (and other shelters etc) definitely don't charge homeless people for their services. If Kevin genuinely needed £7.50 it's likely to be for transport. However needing money to stay in a hostel is a well used phrase to try and get money out of people so it may well not be genuine.

If you want to support homeless people find a local charity and make donations, volunteer your time, buy kevin a bacon roll and a cup of tea next time you see him.

While that was a very sweet gesture homeless people really don't have the means to store, prepare and cook a big box of non perishable food. If he was wiling to work for food he probably meant a fry up or some fish and chips. Something he could eat that would fill him up. Not of box of tins and packets that he could do nothing with.