Anger and sadness at this interaction with homeless person

[BlueCupOrangeCup]

Tonight, a polite homeless man named Kevin told me he secured a spot in a 12-week program at St Mungo's after a year of homelessness. He needed £7.50 urgently to go there tonight and had been trying all day. Skeptical, I regretfully declined, later realizing he might have been genuine.

I'm replaying the whole conversation in my head and now I think I recall him almost bursting into tears as he asked if there was any way at all I could help him.

This one might have been genuine and I'm so disgusted with myself.

I could have helped. I had a £5 note in my purse....and I am fortunate enough that I wouldn't miss it or notice it gone.

And at the same time I'm also so angry at scammers of this thing. If someone stood in front of you asking begging for a small amount of money to help them and you knew it was genuine OF COURSE all of us would help! But genuine people don't get the help they need because scammers make people have attitudes like mine tonight.

There is no way to phone st Mungo's now to 'pre pay' for Kevin should he turn up tonight....meanwhile I'm going home to sleep in my warm bed and work my lovely job tomorrow.

Poor Kevin, I'm sorry I didn't help you.

I agree. I spend my money on what I like so when I give a homeless person money they can spend it on what they like too. God knows I might need a fix of something if I was living on the streets.

Nothing on St Mungo’s website about a charge. Various links to Thames Reach charity reminding people that night hostel access in London is free at point of access. I’m in London - I usually hear that the cash is needed to get to the hostel, as it’s a more believable tale.

Leaving aside the scammers though… or at least, scamming with a lie, but not as part of a ganging, begging for themselves for good reason.

It is hard - I look at people on the streets and think, who am I to judge if in the moment you want £7.50 towards drugs? I’d want to lose myself too. But… it really does do more harm than good, because it stops people accessing services. Or kills them.

You can easily donate to a number of charities online right now.

Yeah my daughter was nearly scammed like this. Wasn't prepared to just give home the money so she offered to go there with him and pay them directly. Strangely enough he wasn't interested in that and when she called the shelter they confirmed that they don't operate like that and it was a common scam.

How did he plan on getting there - why £7.50 exactly?

OP please don’t beat yourself up. You don’t know. Also I’m pretty sure he would have got it from someone else after you, especially if there were tears in his eyes (even if it was for his drug habit).

If it makes you feel better, go and donate to a charity online now.

Donate to charities that directly help.

In the local big city there are always beggars outside the supermarkets and Home Bargains. It is impossible for me to tell the genuine ones from the scammers. There have been scammers around for the whole of human history, it isn’t anything new. The only think I can do is to donate to charities supporting the homeless - which I do when I can.

This, sadly.

I could have helped. I had a £5 note in my purse....and I am fortunate enough that I wouldn't miss it or notice it gone.

This is the only part for me that stood out. It’s not for us to judge. Either give Kevin the money or don’t. It’s up to him then what he spends it on

OP you did the right thing. This is a scam, and one I have heard numerous times, living and working in London.

I can't stress enough that the real scam is not the £7.50 he wanted from you. These people do not work alone and they are looking for your wallet. When you get your money out to pay the money there is someone else watching for where your wallet is (knowing that by asking for £7.50 you will need a note and not coins from your pocket) and they will pickpocket you straight afterwards. This is why the approach is so heartfelt, to tug on your heartstrings and lull you into showing where you keep your valuables.

Does anyone really think that an organisation would offer a 12 week programme to a homeless person and then leave them unable to get there?

Does anyone really think that an organisation would offer a 12 week programme to a homeless person and then leave them unable to get there?

This!!! It’s a scam

I used to think that I wouldn't begrudge a homeless person spending any money I gave them on drink and drugs, but now I see how badly that often turns out in the long term! Much better to donate to the charities.

The wording is almost word for word what was said to me (man in Manchester said
mission not st mungos) the politeness, the oddly specific amount of money requested not spare some change…it’s 100% it was a scam.

You did rhe right thing. There are no street homeles shelters that charge.

But i stopped myself feeling wretched sbout szying no to street begging by signing up for a St Mungo's direct debiit monthly.

Nah. They would have helped him

I recently saw a shift finish in central London; a black minibus, pulled over to collect one lady with an “I’m hungry” sign near John Lewis and then about 80 yards down the road picked up a man I’d walked past earlier.

So I’ve worked with the homeless here in the uk for nearly 30 years now.

I would never give across Money. It’s almost never used like that.

I wish I had this to say another way…but if they were hungry then buy them food, but never hand across money

wevr done studies and the top answer when asked what they’d like people to do..was go sit and have s coffee with them and treat them like a human…

I won’t say he lied….because not everyone on the streets is there because of drugs and alcohol….you do get the odd few who really do turn their lives around…

There's no way this was genuine, at best just a lie to get a few pounds from you, worst making an opportunity to see how much cash you had/grab and run. Lots don't get to keep the money either they're frequently run by gangs and money goes back to them.

If you want to help meaningfully way setup a small regular affordable to you DD to a local charity for homeless.

That’s not true…it’s not the majority.

I'm sorry, but what services?

Honestly, do people have any idea of the often complex psychological problems of those that end up on the street/in addiction/both? People on mumsnet seem to think you should stop 'enabling' so these people can finally take 'responsibility' to stop drugs/drink and once that's out of the way, rock up to a GP and ask for some intensive and ongoing psychosocial intervention that will help the individual unpick a lifetime of, quite often, severe trauma. None of this exists.

The poor, the traumatised, the marginalised, the mentally ill and drug addicts are left to rot under this government as they have slashed and slashed any meaningful intervention. And apparantly it's the most vulnerable that we should stop 'enabling'? How about we stop this abhorrent government enabling the destruction of the last vestiges of compassion for those who most need it?

I walked up to a Wetherspoons Sunday afternoon. A scruffy looking person asked for £1. I asked what for and he said a hot drink. I was directly outside so told him I'd pay for a drink and bowl of hot chips for him. He seemed pleased. He gobbled down the chips and told me he had not eaten since Friday evening. I don't usually give to beggars but I don't mind buying them a drink or food and before now I've given an apple or bottle of water I had in car when I have to stop at a traffic light and they come up with their begging cups. There is no way to know if they were genuine or not but it will be freezing outside tonight. I'd have given him a few pounds.

This!!!! Bang in the money

Why aren't you inviting them into your home and feeding and housing them?

The person bang out of order here is you. OP feels bad enough already, so why put the boot in like that?

Thank you for the sensible advice/voices of reason. Yes it was London at St Pancras station.

@Avacardo2023 You're right - no org would offer a 12 week life changing prog to a homeless person and leave them unable to access it.

@Testina i also looked in the website as soon as I boarded my train but could not see anything about this £7.50 fee. I could phone and ask in the morning I guess!

And yes it is the human traficking/gang funding that I abhor by giving money. If they're genuinely homeless and need it for cigarette I'm not judging!

This all reminds me of a lovely coffee shop we had near my old workplace at Aldgate called Loves way back in 2011ish. (Not there anymore) People would buy something 'for the counter' which was essentially a prepaid coffee/porridge/sarnie for a homeless person if they come in to ask. People would buy two coffees in the morning, and the needy knew there was a friendly face and a hot drink in the café. 💙

It's a scam. I presume it was supposedly for transport when you write "He needed £7.50 urgently to go there tonight". If you're in London a bus fare is a lot less than that. If he's been trying all day he could have walked.
St Mungo doesn't charge, and as far as I know (I'm somewhat linked) doesn't have fixed 12 week programmes, either. He probably has a phone - he could have called them and they would have helped.