Anger and sadness at this interaction with homeless person

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Tonight, a polite homeless man named Kevin told me he secured a spot in a 12-week program at St Mungo's after a year of homelessness. He needed £7.50 urgently to go there tonight and had been trying all day. Skeptical, I regretfully declined, later realizing he might have been genuine.

I'm replaying the whole conversation in my head and now I think I recall him almost bursting into tears as he asked if there was any way at all I could help him.

This one might have been genuine and I'm so disgusted with myself.

I could have helped. I had a £5 note in my purse....and I am fortunate enough that I wouldn't miss it or notice it gone.

And at the same time I'm also so angry at scammers of this thing. If someone stood in front of you asking begging for a small amount of money to help them and you knew it was genuine OF COURSE all of us would help! But genuine people don't get the help they need because scammers make people have attitudes like mine tonight.

There is no way to phone st Mungo's now to 'pre pay' for Kevin should he turn up tonight....meanwhile I'm going home to sleep in my warm bed and work my lovely job tomorrow.

Poor Kevin, I'm sorry I didn't help you.

@quisensoucie I'm lucky. Many others aren't and I'm glad that I brought my kids up to be educated, understanding, empathetic and bloody feel/help others less better off than themselves

This thread has really upset me, where is the love? Where is community? Empathy? What are you teaching your children?

I am an alcohol addict (currently alcohol free) and know that I would 100% hit the bottle hard if I lost my housing. I would be desperate and depressed if I had to sleep rough.

The only time I have cash on me is when I have to top up my gas and electric, or when I have a bus fare in cash. I do feel guilty but can't afford to give it away.

I wish the government would do more (no, I have never voted for a conservative government) but don't know the answers myself. I know when I go into town this morning that there will be people sleeping rough in the doorways. It is shocking and sad.

@rainydaysandwednesdays I hope that you don't ever need help

Bless you, don’t beat yourself up.

Yes, he could have been genuine but you never know. I fell hook line and sinker for a “homeless” person outside my workplace. I used to buy him lunch every day because he broke my heart and at the start of the pandemic when I knew I wouldn’t be going to work for a while I gave him money and a bag of essentials. One day, when I left work at a different time than usual, I saw him getting into a car and driving off. After speaking to my boss, he said he had told him five years ago he had terminal cancer and had 6 months left. Another person at work also said he told them he had a different illness and apparently he was well known for scamming people. He was very convincing.

of course he could have been genuine, you don’t know but you can’t beat yourself up. It’s sad the homeless person crisis, it’s really devastating.

No wonder begging rings flourish as there are so many gullible people on here. I have seen people begging outside our work who look much more clean etc than a genuine homeless individual would look.

How do you know she wouldn't miss it? The buggers see you coming. Don't you think such a precise amount is odd?

I gave the small amount of actual change I had to a woman who needed transport in Birmingham a couple of months ago - she was very chatty and persuasive and because I'd said sorry it was just a few coins she started telling me about the cash machine nearby and how she'd go with me to it... I walked away at that point.
I used to think I would always help someone in need, but years of living in a city (and the odd horror story of people robbed/attacked etc) and the sheer volume of people begging has led to me walking past more than I give to.

Refusing money, whether begged in an outright lie or not, could be the last couple of pounds needed to have them freezing to death in an alleyway or stairwell because they're too out of it to realise.

I'm not willingly giving anybody the means to kill themselves.

I never give money in these circumstances, because I don't like men stopping me in the street, blocking my way or exit, and then trying to pressure me to do something for them. It happens all the time in my city, and I notice it happens more when it's dark, more when I'm alone, and men especially will let other men walk by, but then target me. I sometimes get insulted when I decline and a couple of times I've been followed by someone who won't accept 'no'.

I donate to charity in lots of ways, but never to someone who is trying to pressure me.

Don’t be so naive, OP. It was a scam.

Hear hear. I too spent time on the streets and I used to beg for money as it was usually a safer bet than the alternative option (as a woman) to earn quick money. Yes, I was addicted to drugs but i was at my absolute lowest and begging was a safer way to get money than selling myself.
i do agree that, if people want to help but don’t want to give money directly to beggars, they should give money to charities (st mungos, shelter, CGL, etc) but all this nonsense about beggars living the high life with their plush flats and designer clothes makes me seeth. Once you get to the point where asking strangers on the street for money (or worse, see above) is a viable option, things have got pretty desperate. It was some of the charities mentioned above which helped me turn things around (not to mention my own desire to sort my life out and not die like so many of my contemporaries) so please donate to them if you don’t want to give direct. One thing I would say as well, is if you don’t want to give, at least acknowledging the person begging “sorry, can’t help but good luck” means a lot (well, it did to me anyway).

The naivety of people on this thread she is why begging has become a profession.

I would never give free handout to anyone; well, at least not so far. No one has managed to convince me that they are worth it.

Lovely.

I donate to shelter but do give cash sometimes. Doesn't help in the long run i expect but I'm an ex addict and I know how bloody awful it is when you're sick from it.

You can call or e-mail them if you’d like more info

Sounds like something you read on the back of seat on a bus.

There are three men (different but look related to each other) who have been begging in the Camden area of London for the past seven years They sit with identical "I'm hungry" cardboard signs in front of them, usually outside a supermarket (with a cashpoint outside) or bakery - I know it has been seven years as I started to notice these particular men whilst on a nursery school run and the child I was dropping off to nursery is now in Year 6. I also have seen these same men being dropped off/collected by a Mercedes people carrier. You never see them overnight; I wonder why? In contrast, I have noticed others in sleeping bags in the Poundstretcher doorway who have obviously been out all night. After the recent torrential rain, I asked what I could do to help and the guy politely asked for some dry socks and a hot drink which I bought for him. There are many genuine homeless people out there but plenty of scammers.

This

Was stopped 3 times with similar tales in reading city centre. Scary place. I gave money direct to a local homeless charity instead.

They all claimed to have sick wives with them nearby. I think they think I'd be more likely to help a woman . The cynicism is awful.

There's a genuine homeless man sleeping rough in our area. Lots of people give him money/drink and food. Then someone posted a picture of him at his tent, there were stacks of beers behind him, inside the tent. He said he's on the street because he's addicted to alcohol. But he's clearly still drinking. It really annoys me when I see people give him.money now, because he spends people's money on booze.

I think she means he needed £7.50 to get there.

OP- it's not just on you to carry this, lots of other people also felt the same way. You've reflected and maybe next time you'd do something differently, maybe you won't. Don't beat yourself up about it, pay it forward tomorrow.

No-one should be made to feel guilty about not giving to beggars.

I think you should give it even if you aren’t certain they are genuine… it’s £7.50.
If it gets spent on crap then it’s gone. If it’s genuine, you’ve made a huge difference to someone. If you won’t miss it, it’s worth giving it away. I hope you’ll spend that £5 wisely.

That £7.50 could make a huge difference in the wrong direction. You harden as you get so many in your path begging, spinning a story true or not. The best way is to donate directly to shelter or whatever charity you can if and when you can.

i think homelessness needs to be properly tackled and as part of that, begging random people in the street should be completely banned.

Begging in the street has been illegal for nearly 200 years, under the Vagrancy Act.

I worked in homelessness prevention and resettlement for 10 years. The project started in 2009 with a decent budget and 110 staff. We could work with people for 2 years, to get them resettled and help them develop the skills they needed to maintain a tenancy. The project still exists, but funds have been cut so much that there are now fewer than 30 staff, and the longest they can work with a client is 12 weeks. That's not enough time for them to achieve anything meaningful.

Tackling homelessness "properly" is complex and costly. I like to think that a change of government might lead to more funding, but I'm not holding my breath. And I think things may well get worse if more BTL landlords decide to jack it in, and rents keep rising the way they have over the last couple of years.

It's a common scam in London unfortunately.

There are beggars that get onto trains and walk up and down the carriages with a pre rehearsed speech about how they need X amount to get into a hostel that night, every day.

As a regular commuter you tend to see the same ones all of the time with the same story.

I'm much more cynical these days and often say no. If I see somebody who is obviously homeless IE dishevelled and sleeping outside with their belongings I will absolutely buy food, drink or put a few quid in their cup, but people approaching me to ask. No.