To think there are a lot of nasty people on Mumsnet?

[Poile]

Just that.

Have seen so many directly aggressive and passively aggressive comments on here that it makes me think that many mumsnetters are just plain nasty. Assuming to due to unhappiness with own life.

Some examples stick out - when people ask to guess their age some of the guesses are just rude and over the top inaccurate. One poster even questioned a person’s gender even stating they had thick eyebrows which were not groomed due to depression. The disingenuous of “please don’t think I’m being rude but …”.

Also saw someone ask for help with their curtains and the amount of snide remarks was shocking.

I also think a lot of people in here think their way is best and the only way. Insufferable.

To me the people who will kick a person when they are down just seems disproportionately high. Obviously the fact it’s an anonymous forum adds to this.

I certainly have. They can be vicious on Reddit.

There's a lot of pomposity.

And a lot of people who like to go on and on about how they couldn't possibly work as they have attention deficit issues or similar and can't do tasks for long periods of time, or fybromyalgia so their hands dont work ergo they couldn't even work online... but have no problem interacting for 9 hours a day to go back and forth commenting and rebutting and aggressively argueing on posts on MN about it. Those people tend to get nasty with opposing points of view.

The people with too much time on their hands who are constantly on here tend to be the ones who are particularly unpleasant.

Those of us (probably the majority) who dip in and out can take it or leave it and any arseiness is either just funny, or it's water off a ducks back.

You're suggesting that Reddit is nicer than Mumsnet? Honestly, seriously?

How so? A lot of the nasty ‘regulars’ on here are logged on round the clock - always within the first handful of posts on any given thread. It’s not far-fetched to assume they probably don’t have much going on in real life.

Yes this forum has lots of unpleasant people just waiting to post nasty, cruel responses and take every opportunity to try and shame the poster and take things the wrong way deliberately to start pile on. Its pretty disgusting.

I sometimes wonder if any of these people are similar in real life of if they just use the online space to vent all their nastiness? I pity them really, they must be miserable sorts.

I'm going to stop posting on those ones. I answered one genuinely recently and was mortified to discover that she was around 20 years younger than I guessed. It was a genuine comment and I based my reply on the way my 50 year old daughter looks. My daughter has been ID'd in a Supermarket when she was in her early 40's and she does look young for her age! So I based my comments on the lines around the posters eyes. Really felt sorry for saying anything! Never again

As someone who has stopped posting very often now due to being called a man just for disagreeing with the idea women are infallible and for being pro-trans rights but who is most definitely female... MN is crazy

I still lurk and read threads and some of the posts that get "called out" for being mean just really mean that the replies aren't agreeing with the OP and are pointing out they're BU.

And it always amuses me when anyone says "I'm always online and this place is the worst". No, its really not. I'd suggest looking at Tumblr for worse but the demographic over there is almost the exact opposite of MN so...

I mean, there are no rape-focussed boards/threads on here that I'm aware of. Reddit, however ...

https://www.reddit.com/r/EndAbuseOfWomenOnline/comments/15v9tri/misogynistic_subreddits/

Oh absolutely, there’s a very specific brand of arsehole you often see on mumsnet that I’ve not really encountered outside of the site. Sometimes you can just tell that they think they’re being so hilarious and clever while sticking the boot into whichever poster they’ve taken against, and it’s just really gross and embarrassing to witness. Behaviour more suited to a site aimed at teenagers rather than grown women imo, but here we are!

There were a lot of snarks on that recent thread from a woman whose children got Babybel wax on their grandmother's white sofa, along the lines of 'why can't you control your children when they're eating, it's all your fault' etc etc. Yes it's depressing and nasty at times.

There's nothing funny or water off a duck's back about this post. A lot of ill-informed sneering though.

Its there on reddit but in most of the more civilised subs it gets downvoted to oblivion so you never see it.

Oh shush.

You will start to see the same user names popping up with nasty comments but there are a lot more poster's names you will see that are lovely, sensible and funny. Unfortunately it's the nasties you remember.

I think there is some rational there tbh. Lots of studies to show the negative effects of internet use. The more one uses the internet (in particular social media) the higher rates of depression, low self esteem, loneliness and other negative mental health outcomes. This can manifest in outwardly negative personality traits.

Those with rich, full, happy lives will not be spending lots of time on social media and will be less likely to fill that spare time with pointless trolling which is a lot of the nastiness on this site.

You have seen the rest of Reddit? Including some of the most misogynistic bile that is easily accessible online.

YANBU. Literally every day of my life on here I see one person - often multiple - being absolutely foul to an OP. AIBU is one of the most hostile forums I’ve ever been on.

There are so many kind, helpful and thoughtful posters too but the bad eggs are a significant proportion of the whole.

I also find that so often the majority of commenters have really abhorrent views. E.g. Having children is selfish, let alone having any more than 2.
The relationship advice on here is also the worst I've ever seen. I don't understand how any of the LTB crew manage to stay married if every little marital issue is grounds for divorce.

Agreed.

It's the drama.

OP I agree. Its like some people just vent all their hurt at random people who might be asking the most innocent of questions. I dont visit mumsnet as much. It used to be so good for support and understanding, recently though its became very judgy and downright nasty at times.

Depends on what you define as nasty. If you are asking for an opinion then you’ll get an opinion, whether you find that opinion helpful or unsettling is a risk you take.
Any advice/opinion given on here can be misconstrued as nasty/offensive etc.
You are asking for opinions from people you don’t know, people who have different cultures, upbringings and demographics.
I see real nastiness rarely but I may be reading different threads. I do see a lot of supportive posters, they may be harsh but sometimes it’s what is needed

Yep

You're not wrong OP, we can't have those pesky women saying what they mean when they're supposed to be being kind all over the place, disgusting 🤦

Oh shush

Oh dear, @Woodenwonder. More "unfunny arsieness".

You can't be the only person! Very frequently this point will be made.

Rude comments are called out, absolutely. However, this being the wild west (the internet), there are many different people here with different views and standards of behaviour.