Bratty children and presents

[BrandySnaps1]

Gave my niece (through marriage) a Christmas present. Shes 14. Obsessed with make up, hair, and because of her dad, loves designer. Shes spoilt. 5* holidays, bags, you name it, shes got it or at least wants it.

Gave her some makeup items and she was SO disappointed. She opened it and the look on her face said it all. She expected Armani make up and i got her Boots items. Either way since when have pre-teens because so spoilt? Next time Im not even going to bother.

Anyone else experienced bratty children? How to handle them through gritted teeth. Shouldnt kids at least feign excitment?

Tiredalwaystired · Today 14:51

MeinKraft · Today 13:45

Everyone knows teens are into whatever is trending on tik tok now, it was a bit of a thoughtless present. It's like your MIL (for example) giving you a Bayliss and Harding set (and then grumbling for weeks when you aren't overjoyed about it)

Every part of your statement is ridiculous. I have teens who aren’t materialistic as I’m sure have many others. They like what they like, but it’s not necessarily brands. They wouldn’t think the gift was thoughtless. If anything money is thoughtless as there is no thought in that at all.

On your second point, personally id be perfectly happy with Baylis and Harding as it smells really nice. Put it in a Molten Brown bottle and very few could tell the difference. It’s marketing, pure and simple, and if you fall for that, you’re the mug.

Tired, thank you for being the voice of sanity on this thread! The number of pps excusing materialistic snobbishness and ingratititude....crikey!

I can believe that teenagers fall for brands and all the ridiculous snobbish marketing which sells them, but adults??? Don't people realise it's 99% nonsense? I'm laughing at the (presumably) grown ups who think there's a vast difference between what goes into a Boots eye-shadow and what goes into a Chanel one. I think you are crazy and very, very gullible!

But that's how capitalism works, I guess. Stop believing the marketing - the whole point is to extract huge amounts of cash from you all by hypnotising you into thinking a brand is better because it's 100 times more expensive.

I think children get confused by it, because of the mixed messages where you're telling them to be honest and truthful in general and then telling them to lie on this.

I think teens don't care.

I think getting her nothing next year is the best route, not because it will be any kind of lesson, but because she obviously didn't want what you got her. I prefer to receive nothing than something I don't like, that I then have to donate somewhere. The worst is personalised things, things with your name on that you can't get rid of.

“Another example is i once took her out for an afternoon tea and straight away her dad called her and asked if it was better than the one they went to the previous month.”

That’s not an example of your DN being bratty. Her dad called her and asked the question so he is the one you should be calling out here not her. You say your niece said thanks for the gift but because you didn’t believe it was genuine you keep digging her out! So what if she didn’t like the gift, most of us have probably received a gift we’ve not liked but she did say thanks to you. If she is spoilt that is her parent’s fault and doing. You sound jealous (which in one comment you admitted you are) and bitter. If you can’t handle them being able to live their life the way they choose without causing yourself jealousy you should try back away from them and reading through this post all your resentment is aimed at your DN which isn’t fair.

I get ya to a certain extent, i see what you are seeing with my nieces and nephews and friends to a certain extent however i don't say anything. I remember how i was as a teenager how stroppy i was. And its also not my place to question parenting
On the other side, I have similar with my mother even at 40 years of age and she was the same as a teenager, i would ask for certain perfume and then get a much cheaper brand that would never use or asked for French connection t shirt ( time their Tshirts were huge ) she snarled i a not wasting my money on French connection.. To this day she still doesn't buy anything she knows i will use
I do however disagree with the trend for young teenagers using such premium make up and skin care like Armani and drunk elephant, Dilly ( from Stacey sort you life out ) shared a reel on her insta page before xmas about these brands and what they affects they are on teenage skin, plus better brands for teenage skin
That saying what she wants is beyond your control, in your case i would bite you tongue and in future for presents money or vouchers - so much bloody easier ( Also something my mother refuses to do though :()

Not just teens - I have a 50+ yo cousin (not in touch with now, thank god) who was very good at letting everyone know if the present she had been given was not to her liking, or expensive enough. While buying the cheapest tat she could for anyone else.

Make up is a very personal gift and random make up is unlikely to the right colours. It’s not something I would buy someone.

YABU. You know her and you know what she likes. You should have bothered to get her a gift you knew she would like.

YABU

you know what she is like and what her life standards are yet are shocked she was disappointed in your cheap gift?

you sound jealous of her Dads banker job and her private school lifestyle.

oh and she’s a 14 year old girl, they can be pretty awful in general.

You seem jealous of a 14 year old, trying to ridiculed her.
Make up is a very personal thing, when I used make up I only liked one brand not because of being spoilt but because I have sensitive skin.

Just asked her dad what kind of make up she use and buy next time or give her money so she can buy herself whatever she wants .

Was it this one, OP?

@CoffeeCantata totally agree - i had similar with my husbands niece. She ( with the help of her mother) said oh i cant use anything bar Clinique as am allergic. I was like no that's not the case you need to look at the ingredients in what you are using and find brands ( possibly cheaper) that have same ingredients. She also didn't realise that it was owned by the Estee launder company and all the brands under that umbrella - so Loreal also under that umbrella, easily bought and a lot cheaper than Clinique. Also was impressed when told her Chanel owned Boujouris make up which i think can be bought in super drug. Its all marketing and they need to educate themselves

I give my nephews £20 in cash. They look like they’ve been handed a steaming dog turd. They can just about say thanks, but it comes out of their mouths as ‘hhhmm’. Hoods up, earphones in. Don’t take it personally.

There wouldn't be a next time after that behaviour.

I'm laughing at the (presumably) grown ups who think there's a vast difference between what goes into a Boots eye-shadow and what goes into a Chanel one. I think you are crazy and very, very gullible!

spoken by someone who’s never bought Chanel anything, clearly.

Ok thats rude! £20 when i was a kid would be a treat!

I think your hatred of BIL has leaked into your feelings about a child.

She probably would have preferred a single designer make up item over a Boots palette. You don’t have to approve of her tastes.

Its all marketing and they need to educate themselves

Such fun at Christmas!!

It's the way the girl has been brought up. It's all she knows.

I wouldn't be happy with Boots makeup either and I am a helluva lot older than her!

Let it go. You sound jealous of her. Which is fine. I would be too.

But it is not her fault. She was raised rich. She said thank you. She is not going to put on a show for you. All of us would be exactly that way if we were raised provileged. And teens are brats most of the time anyway.

Your issue is with your BIL. You don't like him. You feel he doesn't deserve his good life because he is not nice, doesn't appreciate things, is superficial etc.

You are right. But life isn't fair. Vent here. But let it go.

I'm laughing at the (presumably) grown ups who think there's a vast difference between what goes into a Boots eye-shadow and what goes into a Chanel one. I think you are crazy and very, very gullible!

I think you are a bit naive!

There is a difference in the products; it's a matter of personal taste regarding what you prefer, what you are prepared to pay for, and what works for you.

I use a mixture of more expensive brands and cheaper products like No 7. I find the pressed powders that No 7 do as good as any other brand; I also like many of their eyeshadows though they don't have the same staying power as more expensive types.

I like black eyeliner - MAC used to a great one but it is discontinued; other than that I have never found a branded one that is any way decent and instead use cheaper products from Maybelline, L'Oreal and so on and these work great.

It isn't that anyone must buy expensive products or particular brands; but broadly speaking, the more expensive products will work better, depending on the purpose. For example, I find an expensive foundation (relatively speaking - Clinique, Clarins, MAC for example) is much better in terms of staying power, finish and so on but will often mix and match with cheaper foundations / serums to get a certain effect.

There's no need to laugh and call people crazy or gullible!

This her upbringing is not her fault and you thinking she looked a bit disappointed is not bratty behaviour

thinking she looked a bit disappointed is not bratty behaviour

It's still rude though....

Your husband's niece? Your niece, then.

This comes across a bit overinvolved and resentful really OP, of a teenage girl.

I do completely get that it must have felt offensive and ungrateful, because it was, she should have expressed sincere thanks even if she didn't want it but it's clear that she is used to a higher standard of living and that's that. When it comes to gives I try to see them as a gesture, I've done my part by getting one and if the recipient doesn't like it or want it then so be it - we can't force other people to agree with us about what a good brand is or what a good or thoughtful gift is.

If you find it that difficult spending time with these people or if their finances/how they choose to spend them/what they are able to afford compared to you is causing you an issue then perhaps just...spend less time with them or none at all and focus on what you enjoy doing or these things will continue to make you miserable. They clearly enjoy their lifestyle and that isn't likely to change, it's their business.

i say my Husbands niece! - only married 2 years and she is nearly 20 now. Plus we buy for own nieces and nephews in our relationship