Christmas Present from In-Laws?

[PurpleRayne89]

Tell me if im being an asshole or not. We spent over £100 on in-laws this year. They got me a £7.25 present. How would you take this?

Regift what they got you next year or a cheap bottle of wine and be done with it.

We used to spend a fortune on Dh's mother and then one year she gifted me stolen hotel towels (old crusty and fraying) and some soap holders and dispensers (complete with old grey soap in them) also stolen from a hotel (a different one from the towels).

I know they were stolen from hotels because they were all logo'd. I think she must've got them in the 80s considering how old and dirty everything was!

We stopped making the effort after that.

I agree entirely. I love buying for the kids, and even for teachers, but when it comes to my adult family I would rather just knock it on the head. We all have what we need and if we want something we buy it. It just adds to the stress.

This year my mother's Christmas message was "I don't want anything for the house, anything to wear or perfume". That's great but can you give me a hint as to what you would deem acceptable?

Maybe it was a chunky...,??

Could be worse my mother in law told dp she’d spent £300 on us as a family ( after receiving the gifts she clearly hasn’t) and asked dp for money for Christmas, she then told dp she’d have to spend more on his brother because he doesn’t have a family.

My PIL regifted me & DH some coffee beans that BIL had sourced specially for them this year.

They even told us how special the coffee was but didn’t admit to the regifting, we only knew about that because they’d left the original label with it.

this is typical of their gifts, they are either deranged or cause some problems somehow, which is why we agreed a few years ago we would stop swapping presents!

Buy her magic gloves and £3 socks today and wrap them up so you can't change your mind!

I’d wonder if they were having money issues and be thankful for my token gift that showed they thought of me at Christmas. We buy £10-£15 presents for most people. It’s not that we don’t like them. We don’t have much disposable income and would prefer to spend the money on our children.

Why do so many people feel entitled to inflict shit gifts on other people?

It's fine being on a low budget but if you can't be bothered to put even a modicum of thought into a gift, please save the recipient the embarrassment of having to pretend gratitude and the hassle of having to dispose of it without adding to landfill and give nothing at all.

I totally get it. My parents, well, my mother requests expensive gifts, £50 plus each. One mother's day, I had to explain that I wasn't prepared to spend £40, that I received homemade gifts from my children, maybe a little bunch of supermarket flowers and mil got a bunch of flowers.
The same woman asked for, and stupidly of me, received something that was £100, this Christmas split between me.and my DB and the. 2 additional gifts from DCs.
DCs each got something that was £20, DH a d I got something shit made from cork that they clearly bought on one of their 4 holidays this year and I got regifted socks. A box of 5 with 4 pairs in. With a ribbon embossed with 2021 on it.

Just suggest next year adults don't do gifts

These threads are awful!
I buy gifts for people because I like to, I buy gifts I know they will like and appreciate, or failing that something they need. I don’t think about how much they’ve spent on me previously and I’d never give cash!
If it really bothers you, gift them similar next year, either they can’t be bothered or it’s something they’d like.

Nothing to do with money problems. Some folk just don’t like spending. My parents are rich & retired. Mum only goes to charity shops, and Dad only buys off the Clearance rack. It’s a fiver, he’ll wear it. They prefer the go on nice holidays.

This sounds like my ex dh (still live together but that's a whole different story). He asks our 2 eldest dd for really expensive presents eg top end head phones, branded jeans (501s) and as he decided a long time ago he'd rather not work ( so we're on UC - I work) he doesn't buy them anything. I refuse to put his name on my presents to anyone anymore! Dd1's pils spend about £500 on them and I spend a total of between £20 and £30. I never cost my presents even to my dc as I just buy what I think they'll like.

And I doubt she would have said anything about their finances if posters here hadn't asked her if they were of limited income/their financial situation.

But, posters asked the question right on the first page (I think it was post numbers 4 and 5, to start?) and then pile on the OP, castigating her and treating her to their vitriol for answering a question.

I think that many times, you cannot win on MN if you post a thread. Too many people use MN these days instead of going to a rage cage to get their frustrations, anger and feelings of inadequacy out. Instead of keyboard warriors, they are keyboard assassins, as their aim is to hurt, denigrate and destroy.

Similar thing happened to me this year.
We bought really nice gifts for in-laws (think gift experience / an expensive meal voucher with chocolates and wine ect) and I got a cheap box of chocolates that they know I don’t like. My daughter got a book which is not age appropriate (she is 2 and this book is filling in mazes and puzzles 🙄) and my husband got socks…..and no they are not tight on money.
i know they don’t like me but to get naff presents for their son and grandchild rubbed me up the wrong way….so next Christmas im cutting the budget and letting my husband choose (he is AWFUL at present buying) 🤣 and the best bit is I know they are the type to SAY something, and I can’t wait to explain that I let my husband choose :)

Due to this kind of thing, we told both sides of the family that were no longer doing presents. They can buy for the children if they want to, but nothing for us. It's been brilliant, I'm so happy I don't have to buy thoughtful presents, nor accept crap. Try it.