Christmas Present from In-Laws?

[PurpleRayne89]

Tell me if im being an asshole or not. We spent over £100 on in-laws this year. They got me a £7.25 present. How would you take this?

What now?
Choosing not to give gifts, or to give token gifts, does not mean someone is bad at gift giving. It simply means they've (ideally mutually) decided not to spend money on gifting. That's ok, there's other ways to show love and care.

She didn't do any of that @Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter. She was asked about their financial situation and she replied.

This thread is really flushing out all the sanctimonious Scrooges.

It's the thought that counts 😂

I'd be tempted to put them away carefully and re-gift them to your in-laws next year 😂. If they don't fit you, they might possibly fit them.

Together with a bag of tea-lights and a whole pack of kitkats 😂.

@auntyElle that’s funny you think I’m a Scrooge! I went over the top with spending this year. I love buying presents for people. So Scrooge no…sanctimonious maybe 😂

Now you know why they're mortgage free, every penny is a prisoner!

She has mentioned it several times, so in fact she 'did do any of that'.
It's not being sanctimonious or a scrooge to point out how not every one is into gift giving, especially gifts of £100!

Being frugal, if indeed they were, is nothing to be ashamed of. More people could perhaps learn a little from it. They maybe also think that getting presents for adult children is not really necessary and are trying to start a pattern of giving token/no gifts.

They perhaps didn't want you to spend over £100 on them. I never spend a lot on adults at christmas as its a waste if your an adult and want something buy it yourself. I wouldn't be particularly happy if someone spent over £100 on me for christmas and I certainly wouldn't be trying to match them.

I’m 45 and already sick to death of Christmas shopping for adults (I like buying kids stuff), but we plod on. In 20 or 30 years I’m sure I’ll be absolutely done with it. As you get older, Christmases only feel about 5 minutes apart! I’ve already used up all my good ideas. Most adults rarely ‘need’ anything. Some years it all feels too much effort and there will be another Christmas along shortly anyway!

@Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter
There's frugal and there's mean, happy to accept a generous gift, spend more on the their other child, that's mean and petty.

Who says the other party were happy to accept an expensive gift or wanted that much to be spent though?

Is it usual for you to give them such an expensive present? Did they ask for the gift you gave them

We just don’t spend that kind of money on adults except our spouses.

Easy solution.

Don't spend £100 next year, budget £10 max for a combined present.

@deveronvalley
As you get older, Christmases only feel about 5 minutes apart! I’ve already used up all my good ideas.

So true. My brother remarked before Christmas that the 2022 one was v recent so why was there another one already!

On the OP matter - the thought really does matter to most people so she's left wondering what on earth the ILs were thinking. Even the kit kats were rubbish!

We shouldn’t give to receive, of course. But based on your updates of them having plenty of money and seeing how crap the gift was I’d be inclined to spend much less effort and money on them in future. Not so much from a tit for tat game playing perspective, but they’ve sent you a message that you’re not worth time and money spent on a gift so why bother to put yourself out for them when it comes to gift giving.

Wow. Have you annoyed them in some way? I would be miffed too.

Several posters suggested perhaps they don’t earn much and might not be able to afford it which is why I posted mortgage and income.

Oh I should also add I’ve hear them complain when they receive “cheap” gifts from others. So there we go…

It does all sound a bit odd OP.
I'd be inclined to spend less on them next time tbh, perhaps a small gift between them. If they complain then just say you assumed that they weren't expecting to receive large gifts, based on what you received from them.

Clearly right Asa ducks arse- don't buy them anything of significant value - think more the £30 level

If they are big on gifts themselves; and you know for sure that they have the disposable income, then the only real option is that they're trying to send a message.

MIL gave me a scarf (it's lovely) and BIL/SIL gave me a few bags of nice (ish?) coffee. Neither will have cost much more than £7.99 and I'm not bothered by that.

I am bothered by them costing us loads of money in food and drinks over the Christmas period as they tend to arrive and overstay their welcome and eat and drink until it's gone which costs £££. I wish they would have gone home about 2 days sooner, but the gifts were kind and thoughtful.

It's not really about how much they spent but the fact it's so thoughtless. I would just opt out of adults presents in the future or just buy them a panettone or similar in the future.