Christmas Present from In-Laws?

[PurpleRayne89]

Tell me if im being an asshole or not. We spent over £100 on in-laws this year. They got me a £7.25 present. How would you take this?

Or nothing. Tell them the food etc cost a lot.

Inlaws can be strange, mine have never really bought me or my kids anything and I don’t expect it anymore. We do still gift them nice things, like a coach hand bag for MIL and a t-shirt and perfume gift set for FIL. They are not poor but they play favourites and like to only gift their daughter’s children. SIL has twins and they always get presents. Luckily they don’t do it in front of us but kids are innocent and my Sil’s children sometimes mention they received something from GP’s. Anyway we do get a lot of lovely things from my parents so I really don’t care. I think expectations reduce joy! So don’t expect anything from them and do only what you want to do. My hubby likes to buy nice things for his parents so I never stop him. His parents, his choice.

They have obviously been taking notes from my tight arsed sisters.

The amount doesn't matter. Was it something thoughtful?

I agree completely I don't think about how much a gift is. I buy something I think people will like and spend what I can afford and assume others do the same. It doesn't matter if it's not the same as the amount I spend.
Some people are better at present buying than others. But I don't let that affect what I choose for others

What did the other grandchild get?

100 quid is a mad amount to spend on the in-laws' present.

I suggest setting a suggested spend amount next year, or saying you'll be doing no-gifts from now on.

They don’t like you.

How do you know what their income is?

I have no idea what anyone else's income is, and I have no interest either.

No. Unless the thought was she doesn't like OP and Mr OP much.

My MIL is a sweetie and an absolute charmer. Always interested in our lives, always warm and generous in praise, loves seeing the children (she is a stepmother to my husband so they are not technically her grandchildren) and game for anything. But she is incredibly stingy over presents. For my fiftieth birthday she got me a jar of jam. The year before that she gave me some gingko leaves she'd dried from her tree. For Christmas one year she gave my children one paperback each from a block set on discount. She lives a luxurious lifestyle and wears expensive clothes and jewellery and I used to mind what felt like a disconnect in her generosity to herself and to others but I've come to realise (because she is such a generous woman) that lavish presents just aren't in her vocabulary, that to her a present is a small token item and the real gift is spending time together. Once I worked that out, I reduced my gifts accordingly (so as not to embarrass her) and stopped minding.

That is a really awful present. 😂

I got nothing from in-laws this year. And not even a thank you for the present I chose, paid for, wrapped and delivered.

I'm not bothering next year, I suggest you do the same !

So ridiculous, what on earth has their mortgage got to do with it, posting their income and financial situation and moaning about gifts is not as an adult a good look. 😕

Socks fit almost everyone....And I would gladly take this as a sign that you need to spend much less on them next year, £10 max. Result!

I couldn’t get worked up about this. Why have you added it all up to work out the value? We’ve all got too much stuff anyway. I just buy what I think my ILs will like and don’t think about a budget particularly . I am very happy to receive a gift from them and don’t add up and compare the cost of it.

The household income…you’re not coming out of this looking good OP.

We spent last year approx 500 euro on my inlaws. My MIL wrapped me up a reusable pound land carrier bag. I kid you not.

kitkat= 2 fingers = giving you the v's?

I am guessing because it can actually feel.quite hurtful when it is someone so close.

And their income is relevant.

A kitkat though! 🤣🤣

My dear friend received a 2 week old copy of woman's weekly and a Bon Marche dress, identical to her mother in law's, in a size 14.

She was 34 and a size 8 at the time. The mil was a size 10.

I was lucky enough to receive my favourite perfume at the time. Only to realise that mother in law also smelled of it on Christmas day. She had liked it so much, she bought it for herself. Wasn't able to wear it again.

She does this with interior design too. But always slightly, wrong.

My in laws buy me wrinkle cream (that I’m allergic to) every year. 🤣 Dh gets socks and a toothbrush every year. DC get a pile of toot from the pound shop. They are well off, but penny pinchers.
I usually spend a small fortune on their gifts. This year I bought them a tin of biscuits. 🤣🤣🤣

@Putyourdamnshoeson some people are just crap at presents and have a different view on how much to spend. It’s just different not wrong. No point getting so aerated about it.

Daughters in Law on Mumsnet frequently have very detailed knowledge of their In Laws income and bank accounts. I always find it surprising.