Page 4 | Christmas Present from In-Laws?

redfacebigdisgrace · 08/01/2024 23:23

@Putyourdamnshoeson wow, how mean of you about the perfume. 😳

Andthereyougo · 08/01/2024 23:35

I’d say you’re only doing kids presents from now on, too much stuff in the world and you don’t need more. Then buy yoursekf and DH something you really want.

Nanny0gg · 08/01/2024 23:39

Needtogrowsproutsfordecember · 08/01/2024 22:04

Mil bought decent gifts for my dc. Nothing for our joint dc - her actual dgc...

Did her son ask her why?

Daffodilsandtuplips · 08/01/2024 23:39

A one off I’d ignore but if it’s the same as previous years I’d cut back next year, put as much effort into choosing theirs as they gave to yours.

Nanny0gg · 08/01/2024 23:41

redfacebigdisgrace · 08/01/2024 23:03

I couldn’t get worked up about this. Why have you added it all up to work out the value? We’ve all got too much stuff anyway. I just buy what I think my ILs will like and don’t think about a budget particularly . I am very happy to receive a gift from them and don’t add up and compare the cost of it.

You can't deny there was no thought at all in what the OP received

Nanny0gg · 08/01/2024 23:42

Happilyobtuse · 08/01/2024 22:31

Inlaws can be strange, mine have never really bought me or my kids anything and I don’t expect it anymore. We do still gift them nice things, like a coach hand bag for MIL and a t-shirt and perfume gift set for FIL. They are not poor but they play favourites and like to only gift their daughter’s children. SIL has twins and they always get presents. Luckily they don’t do it in front of us but kids are innocent and my Sil’s children sometimes mention they received something from GP’s. Anyway we do get a lot of lovely things from my parents so I really don’t care. I think expectations reduce joy! So don’t expect anything from them and do only what you want to do. My hubby likes to buy nice things for his parents so I never stop him. His parents, his choice.

Edited

Why on earth do you spend so much on them? Or anything at all?

AndWordsWhen · 08/01/2024 23:44

My mum does similar- lots of unbelievably bad gifts. My birthday present this year was a toothpaste tube squeezer plus a carrier bag from the local garden centre. And that was actually better than previous years. So I've started buying her the same back. The look of bewilderment on her face is priceless as I used to get her lovely things. All I say is "I loved the one you bought for me so much, I got one for you."
Saves me a fortune.

redfacebigdisgrace · 08/01/2024 23:47

@Nanny0gg why does it really matter? Some people are just not good gift givers. My ILs normally ask exactly what I want and usually just get me a voucher. Very little thought goes into it. I don’t take it personally- they’ve so many family to buy for, they’re old, their health isn’t great …. I still like buying them gifts that I know they’ll like. I enjoy it. It doesn’t have to be an equal transaction.

Daffodilsandtuplips · 08/01/2024 23:50

redfacebigdisgrace · 08/01/2024 23:23

@Putyourdamnshoeson wow, how mean of you about the perfume. 😳

I wouldn’t have worn it either, I’d think it’s a bit odd knowing my MIL is wearing the same perfume as me.

Gymnopedie · 08/01/2024 23:56

OP next year it's a tub of Quality Street. If they say anything you reply that last year you realised that they prefer to do token gifts so you didn't want to make them uncomfortable.

They can hardly object.

redfacebigdisgrace · 09/01/2024 00:03

A lot of people looking to find offence on this thread! Peace and love, life is tough enough! So glad we are a bit more mellow in our family.

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/01/2024 00:05

Marmalady75 · 08/01/2024 23:20

My in laws buy me wrinkle cream (that I’m allergic to) every year. 🤣 Dh gets socks and a toothbrush every year. DC get a pile of toot from the pound shop. They are well off, but penny pinchers.
I usually spend a small fortune on their gifts. This year I bought them a tin of biscuits. 🤣🤣🤣

Did they say anything? What was their reaction?

Itwasafterallallaboutme · 09/01/2024 00:08

MrsBarryGrant · 08/01/2024 22:42

They don’t like you.

Do they not like their own son either then?

Copperoliverbear · 09/01/2024 00:12

Buy them a pair of socks each next year and nothing else

tachetastic · 09/01/2024 00:26

PurpleRayne89 · 08/01/2024 21:42

Tell me if im being an asshole or not. We spent over £100 on in-laws this year. They got me a £7.25 present. How would you take this?

To be honest I don't keep track of the value of presents given and received.

Maybe spend less on them next year if that worries you? I don't think you can ask them to spend 15 times more on you than they would do willingly.

Does that help???

Nanny0gg · 09/01/2024 00:28

redfacebigdisgrace · 08/01/2024 23:47

@Nanny0gg why does it really matter? Some people are just not good gift givers. My ILs normally ask exactly what I want and usually just get me a voucher. Very little thought goes into it. I don’t take it personally- they’ve so many family to buy for, they’re old, their health isn’t great …. I still like buying them gifts that I know they’ll like. I enjoy it. It doesn’t have to be an equal transaction.

Because if there's little or no thought then there's no point

Honeychickpea · 09/01/2024 01:50

Gymnopedie · 08/01/2024 23:56

OP next year it's a tub of Quality Street. If they say anything you reply that last year you realised that they prefer to do token gifts so you didn't want to make them uncomfortable.

They can hardly object.

Perhaps that is the hint that the in laws were trying to give to the OP? That they would prefer the exchange of token gifts?

allhailthebrain · 09/01/2024 01:54

I'd give you an example of the things our in laws have bought me before, if I didn't know it would totally out me to anyone I've told the stories to before 😂

I stopped giving them anything other than a token present, as we were lucky if we even got that. Not because they're bad people, but they truly don't GET presents. At. All. I've had to train the hubby over the years to what's "normal"...

I also don't give framed photos any more. I thought that was a winner, nice photo of the grandkids in a lovely frame....? Every time we visited I found my kids in a poundshop frame (if on display at all) and she'd used the frame for someone else. The next year I bought them a very cheap photo canvas of the grandkids instead 😂

CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo · 09/01/2024 06:35

wooden hanging birthday calendar reminders

😂😂😂 Just, no! (Thanks anyway)

Happilyobtuse · 09/01/2024 07:06

Nanny0gg · 08/01/2024 23:42

Why on earth do you spend so much on them? Or anything at all?

Show quote history

Well one doesn’t give to receive, parents are getting older and our chances to pamper them are limited. Also they genuinely love the gifts we give as the gifts are always thoughtful. They do thank us and appreciate the gifts. And most importantly they are my husbands parents, if he wants to do nice things for them then he should, I would not stop him.

Also as I mentioned my parents, sibling and my husbands sister all get us wonderful gifts so in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter.

To give you an idea, my own parents bought me diamond jewellery - earrings and a ring, my hubby got 2 bottles of whisky, a perfume gift set and a shirt. Lots of toys and clothes for the kids.

My sister also bought me a diamond ring and my hubby got 2 bottles of whisky, a perfume gift set and a shirt. Lots of toys and clothes for the kids again.

My SIL gave me a perfume gift set from gucci, lacoste polo shirt for hubby, lego sets and clothes for the kids.

So we can’t really complain about the inlaws being stingy, they are the way they are, it all balances out!

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 09/01/2024 07:10

Do you like the gift?
Would you like it better if it cost more or you didn't know how much it cost?
Do you give to get?
Maybe this is a sign to just do token gifts from now on?

I also feel that their financial situations isn't really relevant because them having money or not doesn't mean you get a say in how they spend it or not.

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 09/01/2024 07:17

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 09/01/2024 07:10

Do you like the gift?
Would you like it better if it cost more or you didn't know how much it cost?
Do you give to get?
Maybe this is a sign to just do token gifts from now on?

I also feel that their financial situations isn't really relevant because them having money or not doesn't mean you get a say in how they spend it or not.

Edited

Clearly situation not situations, won't let me edit now.

auntyElle · 09/01/2024 07:31

redfacebigdisgrace · 08/01/2024 23:03

I couldn’t get worked up about this. Why have you added it all up to work out the value? We’ve all got too much stuff anyway. I just buy what I think my ILs will like and don’t think about a budget particularly . I am very happy to receive a gift from them and don’t add up and compare the cost of it.

What a saint you are! Yet you're remarkably aerated about this. So many comments. Hit a nerve, clearly. If you're one of those people who are just naturally bad at gift giving, don't worry, you can improve.

auntyElle · 09/01/2024 07:34

You know that if OP hadn't mentioned their finances, she would have got many comments wondering her ILs couldn't afford more, @Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter and all the others raising this.

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 09/01/2024 07:37

auntyElle · 09/01/2024 07:34

You know that if OP hadn't mentioned their finances, she would have got many comments wondering her ILs couldn't afford more, @Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter and all the others raising this.

She doesn't have a right to comment on what she thinks they can afford or not though, she's not entitled to any of their money.