Depressed about salary

[Porcupinesky]

I’m feeling pretty down at the stories today around the national average wage now being £35k.

I only earn just above this amount. I had been offered a better paid role about 4 months ago but found out I was pregnant so turned it down, as I get a good maternity package in this role (25 weeks full pay) so it made better financial sense to stay. I’m waiting for a promotion but the company is tightening finances so I’m uncertain when this can be processed. I’ll probably get a small payrise in April before I start mat leave.

Is anyone else feeling this way? It’s what I think about most of the day. Luckily DH earns a decent salary and pays more bills but it’s a real knock to my self worth as I thought I would achieve more in life.

I’ve just had a pay cut from £31 to £28k after a local authority review scheme I feel utterly deflated so I do understand this.

I work in care so earn a lot less than you. Personally I am proud of the very hard work I do and that I am able to provide good care to people in the final stage of their lives, most of whom have advanced dementia. I don't feel depressed about my salary. What is depressing is people assuming we're stupid or are worth less than them because we earn so little. Especially when that attitude comes from resident's families.

'Comparison is the thief of Joy', (Theodore Roosevelt)

I have never earned that much money, but I have enough. My kids are healthy and happy, we have food in the cupboards and can afford to have the heating on and buy new shoes if we need to. I'm not intentionally trying to rain on your parade, but maybe put things into perspective a bit. You are earning a good wage and you are hopefully happy and healthy too. If you feel you aren't being paid enough, then plan to move jobs when you feel ready to.

Not being funny but 35k is substantially more than most. If its becoming a concern for you could you look at changing your life style so you're not living beyond your means. My husband earns a little over 20k and we make it work. There's far more people so much more less off...

You're above average - far more are below.

This 👏👏

I earn above the national average wage by about 10k but in these economically stretched times I find I'm much more pushed to make ends meet. Primarily because it's just me and so one wage coming into the household, mortgage, bils etc.
How people with children who earn much less than the average salary make ends meets God only knows. My heart particularly goes out to single parents trying to provide for their families it must be a constant source of stress. We are meant to be a high wage economy but all I see are people working hard and still struggling financially, it doesn't seem right.

Sounds like a high wage to me. Isn't the figure given as the average skewed by a relatively small number of very high workers, or by not counting all the people who earn nothing or very little (e.g. carers)?

Thats not what she's talking about, what a strange comment.

Why do you think you should get more than average? Average is a lot of very very low earners plus a few huge earners plus a fair few in the middle divided by the total number if earners. It does not reflect your worth in any way, nor does it reflect accurately what the majority of people earn.

Try having to leave your job because the babys father dumped you when he found out you were pregnant and no support

We had twins and I had to stay home for years as we couldn't afford childcare. It's difficult.

You have to keep trying. No point getting depressed. It is what it is.

You have choices.

Waste energy and time on Mumsnet moaning.

Look for promotion.

Present a great case for a pay rise.

Look for a better paid role elsewhere.

Use the fact you feel you have more to offer at this stage in your life and investigate the possibilities of self employed consultancy.

I do portfolio working, combining PAYE and a range of self employed elements.

Let the tax man know.

Sorted.

@TeenLifeMum In USA they would have higher retail prices plus many copays on health insurance also there are just as many people on low income in service type jobs and no proper medical care. There are many other countries including Australia going through financial crisis at the moment.

I've got a PhD andy full.time post-doc job pays less than £35k. *Shrug. Single mum now too.

You're going to get a lot of negativity for this OP - as the MN attitude appears to be that if you're even earning the average, you are a rich braggart who should be feeling financially flush and definitely shouldn't be 'boasting' on here - but I totally get it. Salaries are shocking in this country - I'd be earning more than twice my salary for the same job in the USA (although yes would have to pay for healthcare and have less job security). And yes, it makes you wonder why you work so hard and go to university and get great qualifications when you're still struggling to pay the bills every month.

The problem is that there's been almost no wage growth since 2010 (wonder what happened in that year) and what wage growth there has been since then has been concentrated in executive positions, tech and the financial sector. The actual real median salary, if you allow for that and take out all the millionaires, is considerably less than £30K a year.

THIS!

You should be very grateful & feel happy about your good financial situation! YABU. I find your post quite offensive because I am living with medically diagnosed depression.

Yes! I believe the actual median salary for the UK is closer to £24K.

I'm sorry but I do feel you over react. Depressed about earning over 35k? You're lucky. I earn 21k before tax and insurance, I work a 33 hour a week job but because we are short staffed and cannot take anyone else on I am basically doing more hours that I'm contracted to do, doing 3 peoples jobs, not claiming overtime because that is now a thing of the past, I have many health issues but still keep on going because I don't have a choice. I can't claim PIP because I'm not considered disabled enough so I keep going in order to run my household and pay my bills. You should think yourself lucky as I suffer from real depression and anxiety and stress but still carry on no matter what my salary is. Money is money and if you don't like what you're getting now you know the solution. Sorry if this seems harsh but that is the real world.

It's not a race to the bottom, though. £35K a year isn't 'a good financial situation' - not with the ongoing cost-of-living crisis. At best it's an 'OK' financial situation, although that depends where you live in the country, you'd struggle on that in London. And of course, lots of people have it worse, but that doesn't mean the ones having it less bad should just shut up and stop moaning.

Speaking as one who also has medically diagnosed depression! I do work full-time and earn over the average though so not really sure what bearing it has on this?

While I don't think anyone should be 'grateful' as such to have a job, as employment is a quid-pro-quo transaction in which both sides benefit, but normally the scales are firmly weighted in the employer's favour, I do agree with those who are pointing out a lot of people are having to manage on far less than £35k. If it helps, I'm 56 and a graduate (albeit in a creative industry that's never been known for generous pay) and I've never earned that amount in my life.

I think the trick is to step away from MN for a bit I'm afraid. I was very happy with my lot until I found that everyone on MN seems to have at least one earner in their household on over 100k! That's worlds away from the people I generally meet in RL.

It just shows how poor NHS workers are paid, I am band 4 but my team managers, who have a team of 12, are only band 5 and start on £28,407. It makes you think whats the point in going for promotion if you are earning less than the average wage.

However my job is stress free, I can work from home and use flexi time so I am happy whilst my children are young and my husband works away. It must be so demoralising for nurses who also start on band 5.

OP you are coming across as entitled. Not only are you hitting 35k, you say you're above it!And you get decent mat leave.. be grateful. It's all relative. How old are you? What do you do?

It isn't just about the salary though - you yourself mention the good maternity benefits, and other benefits are also relevant, plus working environment, working hours, prospects for promotion, health and well being at work.