Depressed about salary

[Porcupinesky]

I’m feeling pretty down at the stories today around the national average wage now being £35k.

I only earn just above this amount. I had been offered a better paid role about 4 months ago but found out I was pregnant so turned it down, as I get a good maternity package in this role (25 weeks full pay) so it made better financial sense to stay. I’m waiting for a promotion but the company is tightening finances so I’m uncertain when this can be processed. I’ll probably get a small payrise in April before I start mat leave.

Is anyone else feeling this way? It’s what I think about most of the day. Luckily DH earns a decent salary and pays more bills but it’s a real knock to my self worth as I thought I would achieve more in life.

It is a good wage!
I’d make £10k less if I worked FT, OH makes around £25k FT.

We are the sweatshop of Europe, I have a really responsible job and am making life changing decisions about people’s lives and am paid much less than this, approaching the end of my career and working harder than I’ve ever worked in my life

I understand that feeling of low self worth regarding the salary you’re paid as I am in sane position. I am part- time (4 days a week) but even pro-rata my full-time pay would only be about £25k - way below National average, even though I do a responsible job, not managerial but still very detailed & confidential, and it frustrates me when National figures highlight my lowly position on salary scales.
Previously I have comforted myself with other attractive features of the job such as good location/able to drive there in 1/2 hour work load not too pressured usually decent hours 8-4pm so home by 4.30 each day nice colleagues.
As long as I earn enough to pay a decent about of household pills (DH pays bulk with his higher salary), treat myself to a few small luxuries /treats each month and save a fair amount for a rainy day I think I’m doing ok, a lot better off than some. I don’t want a high flying job being in charge of other staff, maybe having to travel to various locations, some not easy to get to. I probably could have gotten myself a better paid position in another organisation, but I am a stick in the mud who just wants a regular pay without too much inconvenience.
You just have to ask yourself what do you want out of your career apart from money, and if you’re struggling to tick more than 1 item in your current role then you seriously need to think about moving on - but wait until your maternity leave is over.

As a legal secretary of 40+ years experience by the time I retired I was being paid minimum wage. I was earning much better money in the 1990s. ‘My not sure how some companies think their employees survive!

OP can be grateful she’s not in this position AND upset with her current salary.

I have an ‘average’ wage but am a single parent with 1 dc just finished uni and one just started. Boy I wish I earned more and think I’m worth it. But all the jobs I get contacted about requiring National travelling which I don’t want to do. I’m fed up of living out of a suite-case as it is!

i was shocked this is the national average, most people I know are not near this or if they are they do a ridiculously stressful (non degree level) job and we’re under the impression it was a good wage.

a lot of people need a bit of a payrise.

For a start depressed is a strong word to use and is often thrown around too lightly imo. Not saying you aren't, but being genuinely depressed or just feeling abit down about something are very different things.

Hopefully you've read the comments on this thread and can see that a 36k wage isn't to be snubbed. It is above average, plus you have a partner with an income. I also think your thread could be insulting to many people so I've voted that you ABU.

I've just had a promotion and for the first time in my career I wil be earning above the average, but I've never once felt worthless in my career. I dropped to part time when my son was young and took a salary of 14k which was a massive hit..

salary is not a measure of your worth, but you appear to be treating it as so. I agree with previous posters that if sounds like you have a negative mindset and could maybe benefit by working on that. Read some books, get some perspective. You are in your 30s and you have plenty of time to climb the ladder if you wish

The median pay for full time employees in April 2023 was £682 per week
Employee earnings in the UK - Office for National Statistics (ons.gov.uk)

That's £35,464 - and I am sure this will have increased by April 2024

Government briefing here

Average earnings by age and region - House of Commons Library (parliament.uk)

Median weekly pay for full-time employees in the UK was £682 at April 2023. After adjusting for inflation (to obtain figures “in real terms”), this is 8% lower than in 2008.

The ONS site has an interactive tool so you can look at how it varies by region

"£35k average" means that LOADS of people earn less than this!!! You are lucky if you are not struggling with money. There are people out there using food banks. Be happy that you made a good choice RE mat leave - you can always get better jobs further down the line if you want to. And you are lucky that you have a husband/partner who earns more than you, and presumably supports you and your children!

I'm 44 and only a few months ago did I manage to get a job over £35k - and I didn't even expect to!!! All my prior jobs were under that and I managed fine. I have 2 kids and I only received 3 x (90%)paid weeks of mat leave per child!!!
I now manage on one salary (mortgage, childcare etc) as my ex husband and I split up a few years ago. He has always earnt a lot less than me and he needs to use his wages on rent etc so I don't ask him for maintenance. I still manage on just over £35k and I live in Kent which isn't cheap!!

Also, your salary is not your worth.

Its unclear what's actually bothering you. Is it that £35k doesnt go that far or is it that you feel average isnt good enough?
I'm above average intelligence, looks and health (like for like) and I'm pleased with that. I earn less than average with little chance of promotion....and I'm old. You win some you lose some.
It's ok not to win at everthing

@Porcupinesky I think the words you may be looking for are disheartened or frustrated not depressed.
Many would be made up to earn more than £35,000+ a year, I certainly would, because many jobs these days pay less than £25,000.

Can you imagine how stressed & trapped they feel in the current financial climate?

On top of your £35,000+ you also have your husbands wage coming in so by all accounts you seem to be doing very well but something in you seems to think you are not.

IF you are worried about the family finances take a LONG & HARD look at them & see where you can save money.
Shop around for insurance renewals, use cash back apps for purchases, spend less frivolously in general & see how much you can save over say 6months.

I feel like a lot of your issues could be due to how you are spending money on a monthly basis & that is where I would start looking to improve things.

I think that you saw this salary average and realised that you were on this. You probably have a degree/ work related courses and several years experience. Then you had fertility issues and may have gotten pregnant sooner than expected.
You turned down a promotion because you were pregnant and have good maternity pay in your company. You may feel as well that your current pay could be better.

In your case I would have your baby and enjoy your maternity leave. When your baby is a bit older you could look at doing further training or applying for promotions. Your current employer might be flexible with working hours, working from home ect and with a baby or small child this could be of benefit to you.

You still have plenty of time to move up the career ladder, do further training and change employment to get a better paying job.

One of my friends did a degree PT to help her career early on in her work life.
When she got to her early 40's she decided to do her masters despite having a stressful full time job. She recently got her 2nd promotion in 6 years along with her master's. She now has a very senior management role in the company she works for. I know at times it was not easy and she had disappointments but she kept going in order to reach her current level.

I know you may not be where you expected career wise just now but this can change. You may decide that your glad you turned down that promotion when you baby arrives. Then when your baby is older you could be offered a better job in your current company or elsewhere.

I find it very interesting that your first post doesn't even mention whether you actually need more money as you're struggling to get by, or whether you've got enough and can save etc, just no mention of your financial situation whatsoever.

If you didn't know what anyone else earned, and you didn't know what the national average was would you still find your salary depressing? That's a big factor in finding happiness and contentment in life.

I earn £32,500. It's really shit pay considering I am a professional, with a degree, but working in mental health is not valued and therefore pay is rubbish.

So true, I am on a zero hours contract earning £11 an hour. For various reasons I am not able to work full time. I also have a degree. Ex dh (long story but still live together) is unemployed. I am happy when I manage to work 25 hours - some weeks I only get 4!

Apprenticeships are so under-encouraged by schools, or at least they were when I was that age (I'm very reluctant to admit that it was a while ago now and things might have changed, despite how much I still feel like a teenager!)

What sector/role pays that rate for apprenticeships? I'm always looking for retraining ideas!

She is a mechatronics maintenance engineer with guaranteed job on completion (at £40k+ from day 1) with Toyota UK. They take all ages! Just apply online - https://www.gov.uk/apply-apprenticeship
Year 1 (age 16) she was paid £13,000 - the same as her sister borrowed from Student Loans to live on...
Year 2 it went up to about 22k
Year 3 30k (includes shift allowance)
Year 4 35k
Then employed 40k
Later there may be opportunities for further study, degree sponsoring, or section lead promotion etc if she wants to - but as she's dyslexic probably not! She is v smart, and is paying extra voluntary pension already as well.

I own my own company and only take around the average as earnings. My DH is in management an earns less than average. We are in an area of decent salaries. We are not depressed about this, we are comfortable and happy. What we earn is not a marker for our worth or, in any way, who we are or the life we have. Someone earning 60k could be working 24/7. Someone earning lower can have a comfortable life with a good work life balance. Then there are the unicorns that earn well and have a good balance. They are the really lucky ones.

This ‘average’ includes salaries in London and other affluent areas where salaries are much higher so it may be that in your area you are actually earning very well in your job, you need the average of your role in your area to really know what a true comparison is if that’s what you want, but you say you were offered a promotion you turned down so, obviously, the role you are in right now, if you are equating it to worth, is not simply ‘what you are worth’.

I agree with PP that a degree isn’t necessarily something that would command a higher salary these days unless it’s a job role that directly relies upon a high level degree qualification. Apprenticeships are hugely undersold by colleges!

Equally, we must remember that as salary stipulations rise company’s will be more ruthless about who they do/don’t keep as they will review performance more closely sadly.

Posts like this depress me. I earn £25k a year and it’s the best salary I’ve ever had by a long way.
I would love to be on £35k a year.
If your husband earns more you must have a decent salary between you, so can’t you be happy with that? Your life’s worth is not down to how much money you earn

I'm retraining as a Quantity surveyor.
Not fully qualified yet but already earning much better wage than I did in education sector.
There is a massive shortage of workers in the construction industry at all levels.
It's actually a better work environment than I have experienced in schools and FE so don't be put off!

Yeah, apprenticeships were viewed as what the ‘less clever/able’ did, but in recent years I think that’s completely changed, or they probably still have that image but the people doing them seem to be ending up better off! I’d also choose doing an apprenticeship in software development over a computer science degree esp with the way uni fees are.

apprenticeships are much more competitive than getting on a degree course

The figures are skewed by people earning millions. Don't listen to data, just decide if you are happy with your job and your pay.