Depressed about salary

[Porcupinesky]

I’m feeling pretty down at the stories today around the national average wage now being £35k.

I only earn just above this amount. I had been offered a better paid role about 4 months ago but found out I was pregnant so turned it down, as I get a good maternity package in this role (25 weeks full pay) so it made better financial sense to stay. I’m waiting for a promotion but the company is tightening finances so I’m uncertain when this can be processed. I’ll probably get a small payrise in April before I start mat leave.

Is anyone else feeling this way? It’s what I think about most of the day. Luckily DH earns a decent salary and pays more bills but it’s a real knock to my self worth as I thought I would achieve more in life.

Have you RTFT?
I completely agree with you r.e. MN and our low wage economy.

But how do you know that the OP isn't in finance or tech? Her career path has £££ to be made. I've got mates who earn anywhere between 25-90K for the same 'tech' job role. For all you know OP is one of those and chose a lower paid job because she wanted flexible working and a 'family environment'.

OP posted in AIBU and I'd be quite sympathetic if she was in some 'ordinary' profession realising they've topped out after years. but she's married to a man who earns £££ and admits no 'extenuating' circumstances the only thing standing in the way is her choices really. She's U to moan here instead of doing something about it. Especially as she's still young.

Many many women go back to work. 35K from one parent is enough to pay for childcare. If OP wants to step back fine but again. Her choice. Nothing to be 'depressed' about her.

Yes I've read her posts. Not all 9 pages of people slagging her off for not thinking she's earning mega-bucks on £35K though.

This is so frustrating as it's people fighting over scraps. Politicians - the ones who make the policy that influence how much we earn - have a basic salary of over £80K, before expenses and second jobs. They wouldn't dream of trying to live on £35K. But it very much suits them that we live in a world where anyone (at least any woman) who admits she earns more than that is going to be torn down for being uppity.

Well you need to take in to consideration the average is bumped up by people older than you who have worked longer, progressed higher and earn more and realise at only 32 you still have that potential.

Yes there are PP who do that. But this post is not about the national economy and 'fighting over scraps'.
It's about the OP's own attitude. Since there is money to be made in her career and she thought she'd 'achieve more'. This is more to do with her individual choices.

Again, referring to the 25K earners... they could earn much more but choose not to. Different problem from wages at a macroeconomic level.

She has said no mitigating circs. Money to be made. Why has she as an individual not gone for the big bucks. What nurses, cleaners, air traffic control , , ,pilots earn is not relevant here. She said she turned down another job for 'family friendly' hours so there's the answer.

Btw here in the North West 35K single salary is enough to buy a 2 bed 30 min drive away from Manchester City Centre, excluding the deposit. 2 earners on 40K combined (barely above min wage) can very well buy a 3 bed terrace and many have done so. Young 20-somethings. Outside London 35K is not 'bad', it's not 'great' either.

Make the most of what you have, strive to improve what you can, accept what you can't. That's it. There's no point spending 'most of the day' worrying about it. Seriously.

You earn A LOT more than people on minimum wage who work 60 hour weeks just to pay the bills, so how about being more aware of what's going on in other people's lives?

Once you've had your child your priorities will change massively. A family-friendly employer with flexible approach to working hours/location is worth SO much more than extra money to parents of young children. You're young. You can coast for the next 10 years on a good salary with a reasonably easy life, and still have decades after to boost your earning potential once your child is more independent. Relax.

This.

YABVU

the national average wage is now £35k?
Blimey. I didn't know that.

I'm in the Home Counties and we have an increasingly yawning gap between the rich and poor. The town I live in contains some of the most deprived areas in Bucks, and we have the highest food poverty in the country, but the average property price is over £400K and still going up. £35K would be just about liveable here, but you'd still struggle as rental is very high and buying on that would be out of reach unless you'd managed to save a huge deposit, or were buying a studio flat. You could do it on two 'average' salaries, but I think the idea that we all have to be in relationships just to navigate financially through life is archaic and weird, frankly.

I honestly, genuinely don't know how a lot of people are managing from day to day. Even on £35K, it doesn't leave you a lot of wiggle room if something goes wrong, if the roof needs fixing, or your car dies and you need a new one, or you lose your job and end up running up credit cards debt while you're looking for work, for example. We live in worrying times.

It's not really though, that's just what the government wants us to think. If you take out the millionaires at one end who drag the average up and add in the people who are left out because they are carers etc on almost non-existent money at the other, the national median salary is something like £24K.

Agree, the racetothebottomistas are out in force. That’s why it’s important to push back on this ‘I earn less than you, shut up and be grateful’ because that’s the attitude that gets you stuck with no wage progression and believing your boss when he says there’s no money in the pot for pay rises but the guy who threw his toys out of the pram at annual reviews magically gets the promotion.

By all means if people want to limit their horizons, do it but don’t tear down people who are going out to provide a better life for their families or get what they’re worth.

Your wage is not your worth as a person, but it is a (call it moderately correlated with) reflection of your worth on the job market. I’m sorry if that hurts but it’s true. Some people are incapable of separating the two and I’m not interested in arguing with someone until they can appreciate that difference.

Money is not everything, but it makes life a lot easier. There are enough COL crisis questions on the board to demonstrate that.

Must be nice to earn that

Completely agree.

The race to the bottomists on here fascinate me, as there are also loads of people on MN who appear to be living very glamorous lives - yet it's only the former who pop up on threads like these. Does make me wonder. Social media is going to play a large part in the next election and of course it suits the Tories if people are resigned to their lot and dragging down people who aspire to more.

I haven't read the full thread but this reminded me of an old saying..."Enough is as good as a feast"

I say this as a professionally qualified person with ill health. I work 15 hours a week as that is all I can manage. I therefore take home 2/5 of what my colleagues do.

Turned down for disability benefits.

I don't spend all day thinking about it because with Dh salary we get by.

I would love the holidays etc that others with my qualifications and job can afford but sometimes you have to decide to change something or settle. I can't really change my health so I have settled.

It's probably actually more difficult for Dh because he does long hours but it's ok as I said we get by.

Millions are in a much worse position.

Try to enjoy your maternity and baby and see if opportunities come along afterwards.

All of that has nothing to do with OP as an individual though. OP might be one of those people who could earn enough to buy that 400K house. She just didn't because reasons.
If OP was a teacher, or nurse, I'd sympathise and for all the reasons you said but she isn't.

@Eigen it's the OP conflating the two but also she is doing the opposite of 'working hard to provide a better life' because her career path has money, she just hasn't chosen to chase it .}

Again back to tech. People don't believe me when I say that some tech professionals earn 25K... because everything everywhere is all about how tech is so highly paid with career changes earning 60K after a 6 month bootcamp blah2. But there are plenty of lower paid ones too.

If the OP is one of these then how is the general 'race to the bottom' relevant. She is one of the erm 'lucky' few to be able to earn more. She just didn't want to. That's on her. Unlike say a paramedic who 'can't earn more in the same job. Being depressed as a result of having choices and actually choosing what suits you is just silly.

I'd love to earn that much, but apparently looking after people and, by extension, their families and friends doesn't warrant anything like that high a salary!

I’m depressed about my earnings now! Must say I wasn’t really before I read this. I’m on about £22,000 in my 40s and don’t have a partner/second income to pay bills so i’d feel like I was doing pretty well in your shoes to be honest.

This. Same here. Except I'm FT in an HEI. I wasn't able to have kids, so no mat leave to have 'held me back'. I am mid-40s, and stuck at the top of my grade. As I'm Professional Services, I have to wait for another role to become available, as we can't be promoted in role, sadly.

I am on more than the national average, but have been stuck at this for a good number of years. As we all know, proces/cost of living has gone up faster than salaries. I am on my own as well, so it's the only money coming in. Luckily I had a relatively small mortgage, but things are tight every month. I do feel frustrated that my three degrees (MA(Hons)/MSc/PhD) mean very little in the grand scheme of things....

It's all relevant to your outgoings. I contract, so on paper looks good but take home pay is far less impressive. Then deduct mortgage, car, childcare x3.. You get my drift 😂

Don't compare yourself to others but absolutely know your worth and if you deserve more for your role, go for it.

Also if you're a perm employee your salary will be lower as you get benefits I don't, for example my mat leave is self funded. Also dental, medical, bonus etc. If you add those to your salary it's more than you think

Ooh, I don’t know. I took a huge gap out to raise children, retrained, finishing a third academic qualification and recently took a new full time job that has social value and is personally rewarding.

I personally think I’m worth about £80k 😁, but am feeling pretty good at just over £30k which isn’t bad starting afresh in the social sector.

I would love to earn more and see all these ridiculous videos of people selling feet pictures, or 21 year olds trading from their phone and making thousands!

Does anyone know of any legitimate side hustles?

Christ my husband and i earn way below that. I have degree and post grad and am a specialist in my field. My field is notoriously underpaid. Hes in agriculture.

Ive seen quite a few comments saying I have chosen not to chase money which is partly true since I got pregnant however I retrained in my late twenties which has set me behind some of my peers. I don’t work in tech but not in the public sector either. And my husband doesn’t earn mega bucks I’m not sure where that’s come from! He earns enough for us to live on if we are very frugal.

🎻

So you chose not to chase money, but are now complaining about your money. Make it make sense.