Depressed about salary

[Porcupinesky]

I’m feeling pretty down at the stories today around the national average wage now being £35k.

I only earn just above this amount. I had been offered a better paid role about 4 months ago but found out I was pregnant so turned it down, as I get a good maternity package in this role (25 weeks full pay) so it made better financial sense to stay. I’m waiting for a promotion but the company is tightening finances so I’m uncertain when this can be processed. I’ll probably get a small payrise in April before I start mat leave.

Is anyone else feeling this way? It’s what I think about most of the day. Luckily DH earns a decent salary and pays more bills but it’s a real knock to my self worth as I thought I would achieve more in life.

Depressed is a strong word. I don't earn a lot but I honestly can't say that I tie my level of "achievement" with how much I am earning. I studied and worked hard to get where I am today and I am a decent specialist in my field. Would it be nice to earn more? Certainly. But this doesn't take away from how far I've come in my professional life.

You're earning above average, how much more than average did you expect to be earning?

Sometimes yes I do feel down about it. I earn £34k so under the average for a v v stressful job! However I'm more down about the fact that really crucial and distressing roles such as therapist, social worker, care staff, nursery workers are seen as expendable. Whereas roles such as financial advisor, roles in marketing and advertising etc can lead to big money!

It really depends on your job OP and how old you are. I can imagine if you have been to uni/spent years on some qualification it would feel a bit of a ‘blow’. Also depends what area you live in because that salary will go much further in some places than others. Especially with looking at buying a house etc.

For what it’s worth I think a lot of the big companies take advantage with salaries. You get the name on your CV and often ‘progress’ up the ladder. So there’s a lot of focus on that and being promoted. However, actually you could earn a lot more elsewhere. Sometimes that’s when you just need to look to switch companies every 3-5 years.

You did the right thing by staying for the maternity leave, I think it’s natural you will resent it a bit now. Hopefully once the timing is right you will earn lots more in your next role.

Try not to get too hung up on relating salary to self worth.
Remember.....Not everything that can be counted counts and not everything that counts can be counted.
Attributed to Albert Einstein.

Of course if you need more money in order to live then thats a different matter.

Is the issue that you feel you’re overqualified for your job?

You still have time to get to where you want to be. You made a sensible financial decision on the basis of mat leave, but that doesn’t mean you won’t have opportunities for career growth in future.

Well both my husband I earn significantly under the average so yes pretty depressing.

OP why compare yourself to others? I used to teach and earned £45k+ and I was stressed to the max. Now I do a far less stressful job for half the money and am so HAPPY!
Nobody's salary is a reflection of their 'worth' - what a terrible world it would be if we all thought that way!

Some of us have to do the shit jobs and earn much less. Just how it is

How much more than the average person do you think your skills and experience are worth? And why? Turn this into a compelling argument and negotiate with your employer or look for a job where they agree with you.

Remember.....Not everything that can be counted counts and not everything that counts can be counted

Love this.

You chose to have a baby?

£34/35k is a good wage. It's the average in the country. You're earning more than a lot of people. That's great and don't forget it.

But "waiting for a promotion" is not the right approach. They need to be earned. Do better that your peers consistently over a period of time, and you might get one. I mentor a team and push them to excel and the ones that go above and beyond with results get promos (I dont reward or decide who gets them).

Keep your chin up tho - decent wage in the bigger scheme of things. Keep going 💪🏻💪🏻

I earn nowhere near 35k (even if I went FT this would be over 10k more than my FT salary)

You're still young and have plenty of time to earn more.

Maybe you should cultivate some gratitude OP? It's key to happiness.

Be grateful you're not on minimum wage, zero hours contract or even unemployed with no support.

There will be some reading your post in exactly those situations.

I’d be very happy with earning national average. I do, but I’m in my late 50s. DH earns distinctly less. We both have top degrees from good universities. Haven’t had a pay rise in years. Industry is dying with the growth of AI.

I never pay much attention to those stats, they don’t mean a huge amount.

I am in the HE sector, pay not great and I have a lot of qualifications- but the culture is lovely (on the whole) and the benefits are good including the pension. I’ll be comfortably off in retirement and that offsets things now.

I’m near top of my pay for my type of role (on the full time equivalent of about £60k but I’m 0.8) which isn’t a lot in the grand scheme of things. But I am happy with my lot. I could earn double in London in private sector but I don’t want to, that doesn’t make me less successful.

Dh and I earn less than 35k between us .now in our early 60's from the generations when uni was only for the elete. We've managed to raise a family and buy a house and count ourselves very lucky. sometimes having a little less creates an inner peace as there's less pressure 😌

How old are you, I earn slightly above average but then remember I’m only 31 and have plenty of time to progress my career!

DH's and my earnings are bang average and I don't find it depressing at all. We have a nice home and provide a good standard of living for our two children. I don't measure my self worth by what an employer is prepared to pay for me.

How do you think this thread comes across to people earning significantly less than 35K pa?
Are they worthless? Should they not bother getting out of bed in the morning?
You even said that 'luckily DH earns a decent salary' so you are apparently not struggling.
In the kindest possible way OP pull your head out of your arse!

I can think of far more important things to link my self worth to than how much money I earn!

I earn around the average. First class degree and an MA.

As long as I can afford the things I need and some of the things I want, I think I'm doing OK.

You earn above the average and turned down the chance to earn more, that's a choice many don't have!

Here's a grip.

Well I earn a fair bit less than the average.

And I'm a single parent without a DH who earns a decent salary.

So.... could be worse!!

It's a good wage.

What's depressing is that you don't realise this and count yourself lucky compared to many others.