Depressed about salary

[Porcupinesky]

I’m feeling pretty down at the stories today around the national average wage now being £35k.

I only earn just above this amount. I had been offered a better paid role about 4 months ago but found out I was pregnant so turned it down, as I get a good maternity package in this role (25 weeks full pay) so it made better financial sense to stay. I’m waiting for a promotion but the company is tightening finances so I’m uncertain when this can be processed. I’ll probably get a small payrise in April before I start mat leave.

Is anyone else feeling this way? It’s what I think about most of the day. Luckily DH earns a decent salary and pays more bills but it’s a real knock to my self worth as I thought I would achieve more in life.

I earn about 2k less than this average figure and I am happy with my salary. I have no managerial responsibilities or stresses, my job provides much needed flexibility and provides a nice lifestyle for myself and my children. I see people who earn more but are stressed to death with their work load. It’s all relative OP.

I earn 10k less than you OP in my 50s, as a child I was told that working hard and being a good person would be rewarded. Crock of shit that was. Only those with money say money doesn't buy happiness, it may not directly but being poor leads to far more problems!

Aww 😊. I would like to say I don't do it for the money. I do. But mostly I like helping people at their very worst times.

You can search by job and location...

I live in a city with good pay surrounded by poorer paid countryside

This is how median pay is distributed around the country

It is fine to know your worth, and it is OK to feel disappointed that you aren't where you want to be. So many women say "you should be grateful that you are earning x." Well, you shouldn't be grateful if you think you are worth more. Staying where you are is a strategic move, though; when you are on maternity, start working out how to achieve what you think you are worth.

I’ve been a specific type of therapist for 4 years and I earn £30k. 🥲🥲🥲

When I was pregnant at 32, I was on a salary of £22k. I also didn’t get enhanced maternity pay. 3 years later, I’ve only just got a pay increase to £30k, but I’m hoping to be on £40k by the end of 2025. I’ll still probably be earning less than you though. You’re doing ok.

Strong agree, mumsnet is the worst for the racetothebottomistas.

I have to say worst is when people say ‘I’m only paid x but I’m experienced and respected in my field’. OK love, not experienced enough to know you’re being mugged off and if they really respected you they would pay you what you’re worth.

That's so important.
I know so many people on good salaries who have burnt out. Stressed. Work a lot of hours and evenings as well.
I can come home and I have the evening to myself. No work , no emails, no working on the weekends.

The ‘mean wage’ tells you the most common salary which is far less than £35k a year.

The mean doesn't tell you that, the most common salary is called the mode or the modal result. There are basically 3 'averages' : -

Mean Total divided by how many, commonly called the average but easily skewed.

Median The middle of the ordered salaries

Mode The most common

You use which one suits your purpose best!

Well what do YOU propose us downtrodden wimminfolk do then? Not a race to the bottom!!!!!!!
Reality for some of us!

Op, you're not finished yet. You've still got a lot of road ahead of you.

Look for another job, skill up, and go and have the hard conversations about your salary?

I can only assume my comment touched a nerve because it’s the truth.

@Didshejustsaythatoutloud I recognise that not all options are open to all people, but too many women do accept a life that is less well rewarded than it could be. Think what men do:
Expect that their partner will significantly contribute to child rearing
Go for jobs where they meet some of the criteria but not all of them
Change jobs regularly
Take some risks in their careers
Negotiate pay rise and training opportunities.

Well, many more women could be doing the same thing, but we are conditioned to feel guilty about standing up for ourselves. And we can teach our daughters to be that ambitions. Don't settle - either in you relationships or your career. That way we are less likely to be the ones completely stuffed if the relationship breaks down, and we will have better pensions.

Do what?

I earn't over 40k out of uni at 23 years old, 16 years ago, so £50k+ in today's money.

I was never a career or money-orientated person and didn't try to ascend the greasy pole. I'm on 31k now (37k later in the year due to pay scale and pay deal) and I'm much more content with my life. Money isn't everything and I actually felt depressed at the time I earn't the most as I was bored and unfulfilled by my job.

As easy as that eh?

It's not a bad wage, to be honest. Depends on what you do of course, and what the average is in your industry/type of work.

Are you comparing like with like? Many private sector jobs are very low wage ( and zero hours), brings the average down

I work in the third sector, have a degree and I only earn £22k
salaries in my part of the country are very low which really is upsetting.

That's the "go to" comment these days, is it not!! "Oohh, touched a nerve there, have I"?
Guess you did then, eh! 😉

Also agree.

Too many people here seek to pacify their own sense of mediocrity by telling the rest of us that actually a higher paid job would be more stressful/boring/tiring, which is nonsense.

And you say you're currently pregnant with 6 months full paid maternity. And your DH earns well.
Bloody hell. I literally can't. Sorry you're only just above average OP. Must be awful

Also, rolling our eyes is not a race to the bottom. You're not at the bottom are you. You're just above average.
I think when you have a child you will gain some perspective.
If you judge your self worth by how much you earn then you will spend your life unhappy