To be annoyed that I got an "olive branch"

[feelingstucktoday]

So there's two of us... I've always been very clear that I wanted to become a manager/TL as I've been one in the past and it was my "happy place"

Anywho, my manager did promise me something like than in the past (can't remember the last time she mentioned it but I'm sure it was around 9 months ago).

I had a "blip" of like 6 weeks where I had an "existencial crisis" and it was made clear that maybe this role wasn't necessarily the path to my fulfillment.

There's been a reshuffle, and it turns out that new "leadership" roles have been created, and my colleague (not me) has been given the TL role.

Instead, my manger has given me a "global role" with overarching visibility but nobody reports to me. So yes, I do have more exposure to other departments, yes I'm in charge of the multi-million deals, but it's still unclear to me how much agency I'll have,.or if I'd have to run things with my new TL. She has no experience of that sort of projects (as I've solely managed them from the start) so I'm still lost within the roles and responsibilities.

My manager tried to wrap it as a "good thing" as I was not limiting myself to just one role, and that it would be easier for me to jump to either a more senior overarching role, or directly under a VP.

I'm grateful that I'm employed and that I have a very good salary, etc... but I wish it has been an open conversation or "race".

I think there's definitely wisdom in what my manager is saying, but I just don't feel ill ever get to a managerial role here.

OP it's going to take some blue sky thinking to plan your career after a sideways move but if you play the long game you can find your blue ocean and grab the low-hanging fruit. Check the metrics and see what they say before nailing down a plan and feed back to your manager once you've got the numbers.

Clearly you just need to pivot and let the KPIs take care of themselves. 🤷‍♀️

The existencial crisis came to be because I was wearing a few hats and wondered which hat fit best. That was it.

So basically you went through a period of being unsure of which professional role would suit you best, and your manager thought this was an existential crisis/labelled it as one, and you have in turn adopted the phrase and labelled yourself with it....

FYI, being unsure about what you want to do professionally is not an existential crisis. An existential crisis is closer to what a PP described with the intrusive thoughts about mortality, or an obsession with existence and what it means/an intense feeling of anxiety about one's own existence or purpose...its offensive to describe yourself as having had an existential crisis when in reality you were just feeling a bit unsure about what job suited you best.

You sound quite dramatic and self absorbed. Also, you seem very obsessed with managing people...in your OP you described all the positives of your new job, then said 'but no one reports to me.' It really sounds like you just want to be a TL because you like the idea of bossing people around/having a sense of power...which btw is not a good reason to be interested in a managerial role.

Thank you so much for replying 😊

Thank you so much for replying. So glad I’m not young anymore and I don’t torture myself with these questions 😊.
As you say, I hope the OP is ok.

On the other thread didn’t the OPs manager even tell them they should look for another job as the role they were doing clearly wasn’t suitable for them or the company?
Now there’s a sideways ‘promotion’ and yet still all this pontificating and complaining….

It sounds like they've thought carefully about where people are best placed. They often don't want their highest revenue people wasting time managing people, they want them on the big deals. You don't want your highest earner spending half their work time worrying about people's sciatica and annual leave requests, that's not an effective use of resources.

Line management is tedious- so much time spent managing staff absence, sickness, disputes, appraisals, complaints blah blah blah. It's really not the joy you think it is.

Your writing style is peculiar OP - it's tickled me! 🤣🤣

This.

Yep

They are not going to want to lose a tip salesperson to a management role to be honest. I used to manage salespeople and I would have never promoted a top salesperson to a non sales role.

Anyone else imagining the op dressed in a power suit with shoulder pads, carrying a briefcase?

Thinking outside the box…

I had a fairly lengthy reply as there have been some helpful replies but it got deleted.

As mentioned, I didn't call it an existential crisis, my manager did. I never questioned my existence, I did question if my current role was right for me, or if I should try to explore something else. I never questioned if the company was right for me, I love it.

My manager also called it boredom, and I think she was right. My days all blend into one. It's a very assembly type role, with very rigid processes.

I do enjoy the collaborative aspects. One of the things that I enjoyed of my previous managerial role is that there was always something to discuss with legal, PR, sales and come up with guidelines, I liked the policy creation aspect too.

My new role has been fully approved, but my manager has left the door open to pitch myself to senior management for another role. She has even put in a good word for me.

I'm grateful for my manager and for trying to keep me as happy as she can. I don't think a lot of managers would do it. However, I think I would have preferred if she had been honest with me about this new wave of promotions.

Does she truly think that it will be because she is going to box me in a role I won't enjoy, and she thinks my horizons are a lot wider? Or is it because she thinks management is not for me?

She has put an extremely positive spin to this, but I just want to know her actual thought process. Which I know I'll never figure out, so I'm just happy to have a manager that looks after me, as I think I have something many people don't.

Trust me, being a team leader and managing people is not all it's cracked up to be even if you think it has more weight in the hierarchy of things.
You sound like you're in a more strategic and commercial role which in most organisations has much more weight in terms of direct contribution to the business. Some managers are just not good at managing people but are better at the commercial aspects and there are no rights or wrongs about who/what is better; the business needs people who can do both.
Your manager doesn't sound like they've positioned your role and contribution particularly well and you might want to raise this with them but be cautious about appearing needy; be balanced and talk about wanting to know if your contribution is valued and also if there are any areas of concern about your performance or need for development. And then crack on and show them what you're made of!

Yes, not sounding needy and showing a happy face is something I know I have to.

When I had that boredom/performance chat I did panic, which is maybe why my manager is treating me this way. However, she did make it sound like PIP and in her own words it never was.

Ironically (or not) there was a wave of redundancies and I diversified as way to have deeper roots and for my colleague to have more of our core workload, so there was a place for both. It did backfire to an extent.

I do have more experience outside of our role within the company, I've trained, project managed our biggest account of the year, done technical work for the second biggest deal, looked for vendors, something that my colleague who's becoming the TL hasn't done.

I know in that sense I'm just butt hurt. I thought I was doing the right things to progress within the company, but it didn't work out that way.

Sometimes you can do way too much which is for the benefit of the company but because it's not in your JD your manager will think you're concentrating on the wrong things which can lead to misunderstanding and frustration.
Don't be afraid to clarify these additional elements that you've contributed so that your manager knows you're adding value. But this might be frustrating for them as they may think you're focusing on the wrong priorities. Managers don't always see the big picture and may focus only on their own area and watching their own back. But also perhaps take more control of the conversations with them and ask for clarification on:

• What are my priorities ie what do you want me to focus on
• How will we measure the success of these activities
• Ask your manager to include "what should I do more of/less of " in your 1-1's and note these while you're in the meeting so that there is no lack of clarity
• Also ask if there is anything else that you should be doing in order to succeed in the role.
• Identify training requirements and get commitment where needed
• Keep notes of all of these discussions or ask your manager to follow up with agreed actions

NB: Been here, done this. Good luck!

Thank you very much! Yes that's essentially what happened. Added to the fact that I don't have regular 1:1s so it snow balled.

Managing other people is my absolute worst nightmare! I'm a senior HR professional and have managed a few people in the past, but I hate it! It's so time consuming, and if you are a specialist/knowledge expert/technician I always feel it's so wrong that such people have to spend their time managing others. It can be almost a full time job! Although mentoring one or two can be really rewarding.

That said - equally, managers do often need to have a good grasp of their team members work responsibilities - so there is an overlap.

But it sounds as though you have a well respected position in your company - and if I were you I'd be really keen to explore the opportunities of this new role and be glad I dodged a bullet!

“Butt hurt” 😂😂