Easy come easy go money

[Tonightsthenight91]

Between me and DP we earn quite well. We’re not rolling in it, but above average for our area I would say. He earns 70k annually and I earn anything between 5-9k per month (9k is season depending).

we just seem to be terrible with money. I wouldn’t say we have particularly lavish lifestyles. But somehow have accrued credit card debt. I feel like this is because my money is a steady income daily/weekly so once it’s earned it’s spent just as quick on lifestyle/activities/“stuff” whereas any big purchases tend to go on a credit card. I’m ND which I suspect has a role to play.

Id like to start saving, I’d like to “do less” in regards to days out (spoiled kids that don’t appreciate it anyway as it’s a regular thing), and just generally find ways to save money but in a way I can enjoy the aspect of saving and not feel bogged down by it. Again neurodiversity isn’t on my side with this.

very rough overview of finances:

1100 mortgage
700ish collectively for 2 x cars
400 insurance (I think?)
1000 business expenses
200-300 fuel
no idea on utility bills as OH sorts
dont calculate food shop but I imagine 300-400? (Shopping as and when)
just totalled Uber eats and eating out 1600 in the last month (obviously this is the kicker but the convenience helps my mental health)
Kids activities 200ish
days out etc again I don’t calculate but this week £200ish which has been an average sort of week
subscriptions about £70ish I imagine?
credit card payments 400-500?

we could of course clamp down and just clear the debt by spending less but I genuinely can’t not spend. Instant gratification is apparently part of adhd and autism (both of which I have). Any advice?

Yep, you're burning through it in lots of ways! I suppose your changeable income doesn't help either - on a good month, you could think that you had lots and act accordingly, but you actually actually have a lot of outgoings.

I think you need to tighten up your numbers as much as you can, and make sure that everything is included - birthdays, Christmas, holidays, prescription charges etc. Then once you understand where your money is going, you can decide whether you value each category enough to leave I unchanged, or whether you'd like to reduce it somehow.

Sorry for the typos 🙂.

You have a high income, so it should be possible to scale things back a bit and tackle your debt. Good luck 🙂.

There is a Money Matters board for this.

But my advice is that you need to get out receipts and bank statements and be more specific about how much you're spending and on what. For example "subscriptions about £70ish I imagine?" is one of the easiest things to find out for sure by logging into your online banking.

Log onto the banking app and tot up what you spend on dd so every month,
online shopping to avoid impulse buys. Use what’s in the house and buy food to go with that. Stop treats and days out “just because” keep th for special occasions. The amount you spend on takeaway is absolutely shocking! Batch cook and use the freezer. If you only did that you’re doing well!

You are in the mid-high income trap where you look at the number you have coming in and think its pretty high, so live quite carelessly spending what you want, but over the last few years inflation means that while its a respectable income its not enough for you to spend without thought, regardless of your ND.

If you "can't not spend", can you set other family rules that will help?

Eg only have takeaways on friday nights. Only have dinner out saturdays.
Only one day out every other week or plan/rotate in some cheap/free days out like trips to parks, woodlands, beaches or museums if you have any free ones.

Order food shopping online rather than going in person - its easier to manage impulsive purchasing.

Is your 5-9k before or after the £1,000 of business expenses? Do you actually make as much profit as you think and are you setting aside your tax as you go?

Can you gameify your saving to help incentivise you? Compete against your DH for who can pile up the most!

Limit your Uber eats/eating out. That amount is insane! Try batch cooking instead. Or even getting a subscription like hello fresh would save you a lot and be convenient.
The days out too - go for cheap/free days out and save the expensive stuff for special occasions.

The only way you can get to the bottom of where your money goes is by having a budget. You need to know exactly how much is coming in each month and where it's going. Track all your spending for a few months and use that as a base for your budget. I use YNAB and it's been a game changer for me.

Omgggggg WHAT on takeaways? Just fill your freezer with ready meals if you CBA cooking,.it will be better for your mental health and way cheaper (or even better, as others have said, batch cook)

Is it a typo for 160 on takeaways?

Are you Carrie Johnson in number 10 😂😂😂

Another issue is you have no idea what you are paying out. If you are serious about this you need more than figure a with an ish on the end and find out what the bills are. Get some real figures.

Your title is perfect OP. You spend so so much OP. I can't believe you can earn upto 9k a month plus you're DH earns 70k as well!!

Sorry but you are rolling it and missing it up the wall. There's an app for banking that helps you budget... can't remember the name?? Hopefully someone will be along to name it.

Buy a notepad, manually write down all your bills, set a limit on food shop per week. Can you try hello fresh?.

I can't believe you use a credit card too!

What do you want out of life? Without goals I think you'll struggle to change your habits. Why go without a takeaway or meal out if it feels like there is no end goal?

Very good point. I achieved all my goals very early in life. So I suppose I’m not “aiming” for anything in particular at the moment. I holiday 4/5 times a year and a couple of staycations. I suppose I’d like to travel more?

no it’s not a typo 1600 is accurate.

1600 on takeaways.... thats about £53 daily.

Are you having takeaway suppers almost every day?

That is a ludicrous amount on takeaways - I would say that you absolutely lead a lavish lifestyle if you do this. You also have 4/5 holidays a year? Wow.

If you try to work your monthly budget according to your leanest month, it means you should save any excess in your bumper season.

Also OP junk takeaway food is shit for your mental health - eat well and it really helps.

Ignore anyone suggesting batch cooking OP…who wants to spend their precious leisure time at the weekends cooking?!

Need to take a look at fuel figure - seems a bit low.

Also look at food shopping costs (not takeaways)

Yes I eat out at least once a day sometimes twice.

batch cooking is not an option I’ve tried it all and I just don’t want to eat any of it so it goes in the bin. I’ve tried meal preps and hello fresh. There’s just something about food that I’ve made sat there in the fridge that makes me a bit sick

The OP has not clarified what type of food she is having delivered, but yes, if it is all junk then she is doing herself no favours.

Yes good point about fuel, I probably spend that alone tbh so I imagine DP is around the same.

type of food varies really. Turkish bbq type stuff, chinese, Indian, wagamama, Nando’s etc

People who may care about the food that they are consuming, and have the foresight to do it on a non working day, so that when they get home from work exhausted, they are not on the phone ordering a crappy takeaway, instead of eating a more nutritious meal.

Why have you listed business expenses here? That needs to be thought of completely separately.

The answer is obvious- stop spending £1600 on takeaways. Good grief. You’re damaging your health as well as your bank balance.

The first most obvious answer is get your business finances totally separated from your personal ones. Into a separate account. Then your income is your profits once tax and expenses are deducted. Otherwise it's a mess.

You also need to sort the takeaways thing out somehow that is totally mental.