Easy come easy go money

[Tonightsthenight91]

Between me and DP we earn quite well. We’re not rolling in it, but above average for our area I would say. He earns 70k annually and I earn anything between 5-9k per month (9k is season depending).

we just seem to be terrible with money. I wouldn’t say we have particularly lavish lifestyles. But somehow have accrued credit card debt. I feel like this is because my money is a steady income daily/weekly so once it’s earned it’s spent just as quick on lifestyle/activities/“stuff” whereas any big purchases tend to go on a credit card. I’m ND which I suspect has a role to play.

Id like to start saving, I’d like to “do less” in regards to days out (spoiled kids that don’t appreciate it anyway as it’s a regular thing), and just generally find ways to save money but in a way I can enjoy the aspect of saving and not feel bogged down by it. Again neurodiversity isn’t on my side with this.

very rough overview of finances:

1100 mortgage
700ish collectively for 2 x cars
400 insurance (I think?)
1000 business expenses
200-300 fuel
no idea on utility bills as OH sorts
dont calculate food shop but I imagine 300-400? (Shopping as and when)
just totalled Uber eats and eating out 1600 in the last month (obviously this is the kicker but the convenience helps my mental health)
Kids activities 200ish
days out etc again I don’t calculate but this week £200ish which has been an average sort of week
subscriptions about £70ish I imagine?
credit card payments 400-500?

we could of course clamp down and just clear the debt by spending less but I genuinely can’t not spend. Instant gratification is apparently part of adhd and autism (both of which I have). Any advice?

Does anybody else wonder how people are clearly skilled enough to command very good salaries but just seem to have no idea how to budget and 'spend less'.

This is really not good for your health and wellbeing OP.

The Uber eats and eating out is madness!!! In a bad month so rack up £200 on deliveroo but £1600!?!?!

@LadyKenya

there is a middle ground between spending loads of time batch cooking and ringing for a takeaway.

jacket potato with tuna salad, ready made quiche with salad, soup and toast, stir fry, beans on toast etc etc

all meals that can be made within ten mins

I think there’s a couple of issues here. Your business expenses and any fuel expenses relating to running your business should be completely separate. If you have a limited company you should have a business account/business card but I think lines can get blurred if you are self-employed which is what I think is happening here?

If so, I would set up a new account where all your income goes directly and where you have a separate bank card for business related expenses and effectively give yourself a monthly “salary” and withdraw a set amount each month into your personal account.

Ignoring the many other problems with that budget... Business expenses have no place whatsoever in a household budget. All business incomings and outgoings should be dealt with as a business budget, so you know how much you've cleared after expenses before you even consider adding that money to the household budget.

Why have you got a mortgage if you're earning that sort of money? I'd feel sick if I was pissing that amount of money up the wall every month and STILL paying a bloody mortgage!

My mortgage is £1600/month. That amount is nearly £20k/year. That is a truly crazy amount to spend on eating out. Lots of people have autism etc but don't have to spend this kind of money (or anything like it) on takeaways. Pretty sure you could have an actual chef cook you healthy and tasty dinners every night at home for this sort of money! Being in debt when you regularly get £9k/month in is absolutely crazy.

Of course, I agree. But the OP has dismissed this anyway, as the idea of it makes her feel sick.

Set up a direct debit into a savings account or premium bonds. When you make food at home rather than getting a takeaway transfer 25.00 or buy a premium bond and watch the savings add up.

Set up a direct debit to transfer a good amount into a savings account, before you can waste your money, treat it as a bill.

1600 on eating out is beyond ridiculous. How are you still spending £400 a month on food shopping too if you eat out atleast once a day? How on earth are you managing to earn so much money when you are totally incapable of not throwing it away. Seriously why even bother earning it?

To start with, you both need to learn how to cook.

@LadyKenya

i think op meant pre-made meals i.e batch cooked or left overs make her feel sick but who knows 🤷‍♀️

Why does refrigerated food make you feel ill but food from a takeaway where you don't know how the ingredients stored or what's in it or how it's been cooked/handled/stored/transported/costs a fortune is fine?

Ironically, I’m an excellent cook and used to be a baker.

This is a great idea

So you don't have time to cook? Or don't like to? I don't like cooking either but needs must. I don't get it.

i can’t be bothered. And it’s not really needs must when I can just order food

But if you’re in debt then you can’t afford it.

But we still have money over and money coming in so we can afford it it just doesn’t seem to go off debt.

Debt it even more ironically from weight loss surgery and a boob job😂

Yes, makes me question whether it's just a wind-up.

Where do you live? Here in SE London I am always seeing FB ads for sort of semi-private chef service where they will bring you the food to heat up. It is cheaper than £1600/month and look lush.

Or Cook, or a Charlie Bingham gold card?? Your money your choice but it's SO much!

If that's your attitude and you plan to continue spending THOUSANDS on takeaways then it's a waste of everyone's time trying to give sensible advice.

You're averaging £53 a day on takeaways AND spending £300 a month on food shopping. That's a shocking waste of money in my opinion.

Op your health is at jeopardy if nothing else. Hire a personal chef at those prices, and you'll feel better in yourself quite quickly. £1600 on takeaways! Good grief.