Easy come easy go money

[Tonightsthenight91]

Between me and DP we earn quite well. We’re not rolling in it, but above average for our area I would say. He earns 70k annually and I earn anything between 5-9k per month (9k is season depending).

we just seem to be terrible with money. I wouldn’t say we have particularly lavish lifestyles. But somehow have accrued credit card debt. I feel like this is because my money is a steady income daily/weekly so once it’s earned it’s spent just as quick on lifestyle/activities/“stuff” whereas any big purchases tend to go on a credit card. I’m ND which I suspect has a role to play.

Id like to start saving, I’d like to “do less” in regards to days out (spoiled kids that don’t appreciate it anyway as it’s a regular thing), and just generally find ways to save money but in a way I can enjoy the aspect of saving and not feel bogged down by it. Again neurodiversity isn’t on my side with this.

very rough overview of finances:

1100 mortgage
700ish collectively for 2 x cars
400 insurance (I think?)
1000 business expenses
200-300 fuel
no idea on utility bills as OH sorts
dont calculate food shop but I imagine 300-400? (Shopping as and when)
just totalled Uber eats and eating out 1600 in the last month (obviously this is the kicker but the convenience helps my mental health)
Kids activities 200ish
days out etc again I don’t calculate but this week £200ish which has been an average sort of week
subscriptions about £70ish I imagine?
credit card payments 400-500?

we could of course clamp down and just clear the debt by spending less but I genuinely can’t not spend. Instant gratification is apparently part of adhd and autism (both of which I have). Any advice?

I'm with you on this. I can't think of anything worse than batch cooking.

£400 a WEEK on takeaways on top of a £100 food shop is absolutely insane.

Hire a personal chef to sort the food, and an accountant to sort out your budgets
you definitely need to seperate out your business money and be saving enough to pay your taxes
and MSE say pay your debts first and your bills. Treat savings as a bill.

but totally agree with a pp, how can you earn so much and yet be so daft with money🙄

You don’t seem particularly fussed, and happy to blame your ND and shrug your shoulders. Sure, being ND might mean you need to work harder and come up with hacks and things to make it work, but do you really want to? I suspect everything people come up with will be met with some reason as to why you couldn’t possibly do it.

You need a budget for outings /takeaways etc.

I'd put it all in a spreadsheet - start with earnings and essential outings. Then decide how much you want to save. Then figure out an allowance for the rest..

Well, if you can't be bothered to cook, but still want to save money, I don;t know if anyone here can help, because your takeaway bill is crazy.

Weight lost surgery ! You’ll probably put it all back on with that amount of takeaways

what about getting ready meals from decent supermarkets
waitrose, m&s or booths
or can’t you be arsed putting them in the oven ?

Joint income here in excess of yours - dk if relevant. I could not bear personally to live in such a wasteful and disorganised way. And I think you need to consider what effect this may have on your children and what profligate ways you may be passing on.
Pay off your debt
Start building savings for a rainy day and retirement. It's very satisfying seeing savings build.
Also consider what you could do with the money instead - saving for DC's university costs? Do you want to work until your pension age?

@Tonightsthenight91

thats a good idea op

some of the M&S ones are really nice and low calorie too

Wind up, I think.

It is 100% a needs must when you are a PARENT though. What are your children eating?

You need to go back to making meals.

Sorry to burst your bubble but your income is ok but not that high.

Start small to get back in the habit, get in the habit of buying a pizza in the supermarket to bung in the oven. If you know you are lazy, allow for it in the supermarket. Packs of ready made tortelli etc are much cheaper than ordering takeaways. Buy pre packaged bags of stir fry veg that you can just chuck in a pan with noodles. Get pasta and ready made sauces.

Get an air fryer, buy battered fish & bags of chips.

Buy wraps and bottled nandos sauce. Buy ready chopped chicken that you can air fry and eat in the wraps with the sauce.

If you can't manage even these things you are a bit bone idle to be honest and there's no helping you.

Batch cooking is no different from normal cooking. You make a bolognaise/chilli etc but you make more than you need. Zero extra effort (bar 5 extra minutes chopping onions/carrots/mushrooms) and then you freeze half. Batch cooking doesn't need to be a 'thing' you spend your free time doing.

I think you'll be piling all the weight straight back on with takeaways every day!

Seriously if you aren't reducing debt then you CAN'T afford to spend as you do. ADHD isn't an excuse. I have it too btw.

You voiced my doubts exactly.

I'm living on benefits because I actually have MH issues that have made it soul-destroying for me to try to fit in in workplaces, over many many years of trying. Even now I still do vocational training/studying in the hopes that I'll one day be able to make a decent living for myself, but experience has shown me it's a vain hope sadly.

Threads like this (with the kinds of claims the OP is making to excuse their decadence) upset me. But perhaps that's part of the point of posting them 🤷‍♂️

I’m not sure what exactly it is you’re asking if you “can’t be bothered to cook”

Ignore anyone suggesting batch cooking OP…who wants to spend their precious leisure time at the weekends cooking?!

The point being that you are cooking a meal anyway, and it takes no longer to make 8 portions of chilli/curry/bolognese than it does to make 2.

Neurodiversity isn't an excuse for just being really fucking lazy you know OP.

It's a mystery 👀

Your 'can't be bothered' attitude seems to be the problem

Well done for opening up on this and for admitting these things to yourself as well.

The reality is,this is only an issue if it is going to eventually catch up with you. The likelihood is, it will.

Do you have significant pension provision and savings to supplement your income in retirement, I know it all sounds boring but you are living a lifestyle that you will struggle to adapt to if your income changes. If you don't have tonnes of savings for retirement then you will be screwed and I dread to think what that point will do to your mental health.

I'm not judging you at all and totally get this and have been there and done all of this. I then have a friend who is older who went completely bankrupt due to not being able
maintain the squanderous lifestyle and the effect on their mental health has been horrendous.

I was no where near as squanderous but had high disposable income got my fixes from anything easy - eating out, holidays more
Holidays and more holidays!

The situation that happened to my friend was a huge wake up call and I've changed everything now completely! I now bank with starling which I would highly recommend and i budget budget budget. Our mortgage is huge now qnd so i know we have to be careful to budget and we have saved and insured for unexpected situations. I feel SO much happier. The stuff was NOT bringing me happiness, I was lacking purpose.

I strongly recommend you don't give up with completely overhauling your spending and creating a plan.

Btw my friend is ND and so am I, This makes you susceptible to this sort of lack of awareness but can be fixed.

@Ragwort they also do not seem to know how to cook a meal from fresh every night!! 1600 on ubereats!!!! that is shocking!

Why can't your DP cook if you can't/won't?

Other than the takeways, what leaps out to me is the business expenses. That's £12000 a year you are NOT earning and are you sure those are your only business expenses?

You need for example to be putting money aside every month towards the tax bill, define how much of the fuel is used for business purposes. I'm not entirely sure you know how much your profit is and what your tax liabilities are and thus how much you can take out of the business your actual earnings.

I suggest 2 separate accounts for personal and business.

£1600 on takeaways / eating out 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

Insanity.

I do do this! But got flamed on a previous thread for this saying it’s all UPF and might as well got a takeaway.

To be honest I wasn’t really expecting this thread to become solely about takeaways but I hear what you are all saying.

the poster that asked why I’m not mortgage free - I’m 30!