Easy come easy go money

[Tonightsthenight91]

Between me and DP we earn quite well. We’re not rolling in it, but above average for our area I would say. He earns 70k annually and I earn anything between 5-9k per month (9k is season depending).

we just seem to be terrible with money. I wouldn’t say we have particularly lavish lifestyles. But somehow have accrued credit card debt. I feel like this is because my money is a steady income daily/weekly so once it’s earned it’s spent just as quick on lifestyle/activities/“stuff” whereas any big purchases tend to go on a credit card. I’m ND which I suspect has a role to play.

Id like to start saving, I’d like to “do less” in regards to days out (spoiled kids that don’t appreciate it anyway as it’s a regular thing), and just generally find ways to save money but in a way I can enjoy the aspect of saving and not feel bogged down by it. Again neurodiversity isn’t on my side with this.

very rough overview of finances:

1100 mortgage
700ish collectively for 2 x cars
400 insurance (I think?)
1000 business expenses
200-300 fuel
no idea on utility bills as OH sorts
dont calculate food shop but I imagine 300-400? (Shopping as and when)
just totalled Uber eats and eating out 1600 in the last month (obviously this is the kicker but the convenience helps my mental health)
Kids activities 200ish
days out etc again I don’t calculate but this week £200ish which has been an average sort of week
subscriptions about £70ish I imagine?
credit card payments 400-500?

we could of course clamp down and just clear the debt by spending less but I genuinely can’t not spend. Instant gratification is apparently part of adhd and autism (both of which I have). Any advice?

What do your kids eat if you can't be bothered to cook?

Does anybody else wonder how people are clearly skilled enough to command very good salaries but just seem to have no idea how to budget and 'spend less'

I think all of the wide-eyed 'we bring in £10k a month but have no idea how to save, please help' threads are total bullshit.

IMO they're either:
A. Complete fantasy - from someone really struggling financially and needing a bit of fairytale dreaming.
B. Wildly exaggerated - from a middle income earner who has a decent salary by chance because they're actually a bit dim - but they also enjoy a bit of fantasy.
C. True, and some kind of weird stealth boast - due to deep dissatisfaction in another area of life.

Either way, it's sad.

maybe your problem is you’re too busy throwing pity parties. No one has created a post to upset you.

it was “soul destroying” for me to fit into work places, fit in at school, hold down a job for longer than a few months etc. so I got off my arse and created employment for myself by opening businesses. We can’t all sit around on benefits.

claiming you’re on benefits because you “ACTUALLY” have mental health problems is offensive and tone deaf.

They eat out with us or have child based meal preps delivered from a GP recommended prep place

I’ll never understand how on mumsnet if a post is different to your experience or how you live your life it’s a wind up. Fucking insanity.

thank you to those that have been helpful! I’ve taken some good points and good ideas from those of you that have been genuine.

What an unkind and deeply unpleasant comment you have made to baroque.

I am hoping you are just a troll stirring up on a Saturday night but in the unlikely case that you are genuine please tell us what your 'business' is?

Feel like a mug now for cooking when our household income is higher than yours! Going to show this to DH if he dares complain about egg on toast any time soon.

We can’t all sit around on benefits.

😲 wow.

Good point

Blimey. Just wow at the ££££’s spent per month on takeaways. Stop doing this. Just. Stop.

I'd be so fat if I spent over a grand a month on takeaways 😵‍💫 I think i'd genuinely be in the obese category. and my BMI is currently normal 😂

You spend more on takeaways than your (substantial) mortgage.

Incredible.

And weight-loss surgery and a boob job? When you have this poor a diet to tackle first?

Christ.

Well actually I think it’s fucking vile to insinuate that you can only “actually” have mental health problems and/or neurodiversity if you’re on benefits? Deluded.

im a long time poster I’ve absolutely no idea why you’d think I’m a troll? Fucking hell I’d come up with a better story than spending my money on Uber eats and such 🤔 bye now.

ADHD and Autism means…takeaways?

The only takeaway here is that you literally cannot not spend money on food and that says either lazy AF or some sort of addictive disorder?

You’re eating out once a DAY?

Come on, you don’t need mumsnet to tell you what to do.

I think it's because you're potentially too far above the clouds in ££££ land that you can't see how genuinely crazy it seems to the 90 % of people on a normal income and don't realise how lucky you are. If you're struggling with nd, I understand, but perhaps employ a pa or equivalent to keep track of your spending, incomings and outgoings and that'll help you. Or employ a chef , it would be cheaper than £1600 a month

Why be so defensive .. why not share with the rest of us exactly what your business is that has made you so successful financially, perhaps we can learn from your advice?

You may be a long term poster, but so am I ... and if you are 30 I've been here since you were 8 .

Have you never considered spending any of your massive salary on counselling/therapy OP?
I'm neurodiverse too, so I understand issues with impulse control etc. But nobody here knows how exactly your brain works. YOU have to understand what makes you tick so you can structure your routine.

'What' is it about food that you don't like. You said you don't like pre-made food in the frigde fine but what was the issue with HelloFresh?

We can all suggest batch-cook, meal prep etc but apparently you've failed at all these already. Even shopping - plan, make a list and stick to it?

Of course. If you want to go nuclear. Transfer half your money into a fixed account that you can't touch. Then see how you cope. If you can't touch it, you can't sopend it!

🍪 which flavour do you want?

why would I share my business details with you? I own multiple niche businesses. It’s an anonymous forum sweetheart, not an enquiry into my personal life.

I have ADHD and I can overspend like there's no fomorrow and we are high earners too and burn through money. Some of the things I've done that have helped us are:

Deleting Amazon - we were spending 100s a month without realising it. I keep a list on my phone of stuff I want to order, and on pay day if I still want it I order it. I rarely do.

Delete takeaway apps and instead bought an insane amount of Cook and Charlie Bigam ready meals and bought a cheap chest freezer for the garage to keep them all in.

Buy activity passes in advance - I have small kids so we have a season pass to the local wildlife park that has soft play, a pass to a local music class that runs once a week and an English Heritage pass. Now my days off in the week I either do one of those things with them if I can't think of anything free I want to do.

Sort through our "stuff" regularly. This prevents me from wanting new stuff. Especially as with ADHD I find that out of sight is out of mind!! So each week I choose a different room and I will spend a bit of time in there reorganising stuff. Doesn't have to be long but for example today I spent 10 mins organising DDs wardrobe and I certainly won't be tempted to impulse buy her any clothes for a while!!! Last week I did the playroom, this week I'll do my bathroom which will put me off buying beauty stuff as I'll find loads.

Could you swap the takeaways for a meal delivery service - Hello Fresh or Gousto. That kind of thing. Lots of vouchers for each available to trying them out.

im thinking it might be cheaper, still good for your mental health and a bit healthier?

It’s absolutely not ok that neither of you cook for your children.

She said she doesn’t like them and can’t be bothered.

You spend more a month on Uber eats than I take home from my job. I also run a house, a dog and a car all by myself.

how the other half live lol

days out etc again I don’t calculate but this week £200ish which has been an average sort of week

Can I ask how you spend an average of £200 a week on days out?

As well as:

Kids activities 200ish

A week? A month?

And you're also eating out once or twice a day? How is there even enough time in the week for all of this plus a job? 🤯