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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to object to other parent's vile racist remarks in the nursery playground?

332 replies

grimupnorth · 17/03/2008 19:28

We recently moved to a new area and dd (just 3) has started at the nursery attatched to the primary school round the corner. Its on a council estate that has a bit of a 'reputation' but tbh that doesn't bother me, the school is lovely nd small and the staff seem excellent. DD loves it there and is making friends, but I'm having problems with the other parents.

Basically they refuse to speak to me. Its not paranoia, they really do and have done since the first morning when I dropped her off. They just give me dirty looks and don't reply when I say hello. Only one of them acknowledges me, and she runs the local shop so isn't going to be rude to the customers! Its a close community and they all know each other etc etc, and I'm an outsider with a posh accent, pink hair, and a faceful of piercings. I can live with being ignored, but...

Today when we were waiting to go in to drop the dc's off, two of the women started having a conversation about a recent trip one of them had had to make with her ds. She was basically bitching about how carp the treatment was, but then these comments were made:

"The place was full of Asians pretending to have heart attacks so they'd get seen first"

"Next time I go I'll be boot polishing our faces to get better treatment"

"The bloody Arabs want to piss off back home and stop bleeding our hospitals dry"

This was in front of children, and I was furious. I picked up dd and carried her to the other end of the playground to look at the daffodils, and I could feel them (the mothers not the daffodils!) watching me. I felt really uncomfortable, I wanted to say something but tbh I was worried about getting smacked - they are pretty tough aggressive women.

I'm quite ashamed of myself for not having the guts to stand up and say something at the time but didn't want dd to see me get into an argument, or to do it on school grounds. I'm going to put in a complaint to the head tomorrow - is this OTT?

OP posts:
magicfarawaytree · 17/03/2008 21:52

actually people with colour is offensive to me- how come you have one colour and I am supposedly multicoloured.....

mrsruffallo · 17/03/2008 21:53

It's intersting, Lulah nad quite depressing hoe widespread racism is.
I think as the working class of all colours get screwed housing and education wise some do seem to turn on each other...
Then again, wc and immigrants have been living in the same areas for decades and there are many positive examples of integration and tolerance

Megglevache · 17/03/2008 21:53

Message withdrawn

Desiderata · 17/03/2008 21:53

The Magic Faraway Tree was my favourite book as a kid!

magicfarawaytree · 17/03/2008 21:54

struggling to find a sentence that 'all black people are....' which would not be racist tbh

TheQueenMother · 17/03/2008 21:54

some definitions of racism for anyone struggling

WanderingTrolley · 17/03/2008 21:55

All black people are black? All black people are people?

Mercy · 17/03/2008 21:55

lol Doodle. The issue in our school was to change hte perception/image of the PTA. It is run by (mostly) white middle-class types. But you may find a few gems who can really turn things round as has happened here - good luck!

magicfarawaytree · 17/03/2008 21:56

desi mine too

Quattrocento · 17/03/2008 21:56

Any sentence beginning with "All black people are" is unspeakably vulgar

Lulah · 17/03/2008 21:56

what do you mean by that magicfaraway tree..what is offensive being described as white black brown etc??

WanderingTrolley · 17/03/2008 21:57

Oh thank God. Wikipedia. Not some shoddy source like Liberty or Amnesty International or the OED.

magicfarawaytree · 17/03/2008 21:58

wandertrolley - all black people are not black. they are infact shades of brown. and black is not actually a colour

Greyriverside · 17/03/2008 21:59

All black people are originally from another country then ok

But what I was getting at was that it's ok to hate someone who is black, purple or pink, but for a reason. Not just because they are that color

lucyellensmum · 17/03/2008 22:01

i've never really got the whole black and white thing - i mean, black people are brown, white people are pink!

TheQueenMother · 17/03/2008 22:01

WT, your point is?

Quattrocento · 17/03/2008 22:02

or grey or occasionally a really dodgy shade of magnolia

Greyriverside · 17/03/2008 22:02

Actually I am very nearly white, but that's because I dont get out enough

WanderingTrolley · 17/03/2008 22:02

mft - these are all black

Mercy · 17/03/2008 22:02

haha WT!

I think I'm similar to MFAT. I don't think there are many older mixed race people on MN (Motherinferior is the only one I can think of tbh plus now Magic of course)

magicfarawaytree · 17/03/2008 22:02

just be ironic - for every person that is called a particular colour there is another that is offended by the colour chosen.

Desiderata · 17/03/2008 22:03

No, lucy. Mr Blobby was pink!

Lulah · 17/03/2008 22:04

I understand you greyriverside.

It is obvious black people are not black but shades of brown but we are all told we must ,in order to not offend say black if we have to describe in colour.
I appreciate its not always needed a description but when it is we are guided.

magicfarawaytree · 17/03/2008 22:04

i stand corrected and will retired to my bigoted shack...

WanderingTrolley · 17/03/2008 22:06

QM - anyone can get on to Wikipedia and change/add/edit it. THere was a famous incident a year or two ago when the likes of Blair and Brown were officially dead and amusingly captioned, just because someone went in and decided to do so for a laugh. So Wikipedia is not generally considered to be a substantial source to quote.