Do you think it would be easier to lose weight if you had more time ?

[kitchenlover]

I am really really struggling to sort myself out with this.

Are these all just excuses though ?

I have lost weight successfully in the past, but I've also been exhausted by the whole thing.

I need to be super strict and spend around 2 hours in the gym a day, ( 5 days a week at least ) in order to see a change in my body. It's exhausting.

I have a full time job, two preschool aged children and a completely absent H, due to his work.

I also suffer from a condition which causes fatigue. So I start off with less energy than most people anyway. That is not even taking account the fact that I do all night wakings with my kids.

I just can't do all of this AND spend the time shopping/ meal prepping and going to the gym a lot.

How do people manage ? I really need to get back to a healthy weight and the only way I can see this happening is if I just don't work for a bit. I can afford to do this and yes I posted about this the other day. However I keep thinking- what if I take some time out from work to sort myself out and then I don't even manage to lose weight ?

Am I just making excuses ? How do people with so many responsibilities do it ??

Definitely. I would join an gym and only eat twice a day if not at work all the bloody time.

you honestly don’t see a difference between jacking in your job if you’re a stone overweight or 7 stone overweight?

and fact you can’t admit the situation on anonymous forums suggests to me that you can’t admit to yourself what the root cause of the weight gain is. A very poor diet

yes, i wrote too quickly. meant to mention dh wage, your own independent funds (Inheritance, trust fund, offshore accounts lol)

@kitchenlover - if you are serious about your weight loss, i could help with an A-Z. just too exhausted to write now.

i figured out what is wrong with your approach, no wonder it is not working. you are making it big- your mind is stressed and therefore cannot focus- while your weight issues are nothing unique. your approach is wrong and sounds like you are starring defeat if you don't change it.

you could lose that weight by purely walking. or 10 minutes gentle exercise a day/ even 5 mins a day- yep you won't believe it, but i know it's true.

but you just want drama.

You don't need lots of time to lose weight. That's just an excuse!

2 hours in the gym is unsustainable.

You just need to exersize regularly, eat less crap, then get used to eating less crap so you don't crave it any more and it becomes normal your way of eating.

Look for a local personal trainer who runs fitness classes and attend a couple of classes a week. Lots do a mum and baby/toddler class.

If you have a child that likes to nap then put them in the pushchair and do a 90 minute walk while they sleep.

as a result of the weight gain or separate issue?

'Feeling like you work your whole body' isn't being organised about your workout. There's only really 6 exercises you need, if you're pushed for time, and you can split those over 2 workouts. Isolation exercises like lateral raises and bicep curls are a waste of your time... they're a luxury, to be added on after you've done the main 6, if you've time for more. You don't. You need to prioritise your compound lifts.

So there's one way you can stop wasting time.

The question about whether you always make it to 12 repetitions was a huge question, because the answer to it is the answer to whether you're wasting pretty much all your time in the gym!

Cardio isn't efficient for weight loss. It works by burning off the food slowly. The reason it's got the 'fat burning' reputation is because we can do it for a long time, but when we stop doing it, we revert to previous calorie burning levels quite quickly. Resistance training, done right, will elevate your resting rate of calorie burn for 2 days, so, although it doesn't burn as much as CV during the exercise, it will get rid of more over time. And your body will then be more muscle, which raises your calorie requirement.

@kitchenlover

let's start:

tell us what you eat every day. list it here. don't leave out anything.

bet you wont list what you eat each day. again, you just want drama.

ditch your job, all you want, if that will make you happy.

@withthischoice nothing to do with being fat, no.

I'm not sure why you need to be so unkind.

exasperation i imagine

@Sweetglossy I just wrote what I ate today, is that OK for you ? Or do I just want drama ? I don't get it.
I'm really struggling here, I just wanted to talk it through with a few people as it's too embarrassing to discuss with people in real life.

have you spoken in rl to anyone about this (aside from your partner who doesn’t have an opinion either way - which is bloody odd in itself).

without us knowing what you eat and how much you eat A DAY, we cannot help.

hence i told you, in my very first post, to speak to someone irl. even a good gp can sort you out in one session/ consultation.

My mum says I'm a mess and need to quit and look after myself.

She's very very concerned about my wellbeing. As I have a chronic conduction which isn't much fun and she wants me think about my health before all else.

Because OP’s reaction seems very extreme and it feels somewhat misplaced. To me this reads like body dysmorphia or an ED.

Ultimately OP, what I think most people are saying is that what you're suggesting is unsustainable. Yes you managed it before when you weren't working but, as you said yourself, as soon as you went back to work, you didn't have the time to maintain your extensive regime and so you lost what you had achieved. It's just not a realistic or reasonable method for weight loss and fitness that can be sustained long term.

Kindly, I think you are conflating several issues:
1.wanting to lose weight
2.wanting to exercise for fitness and a stronger body
3.hating your job

Soul search and really decide which is most important here. If it's 1 - diet and calorie deficit is what you need to focus on first. If 2 - find a way to meet your fitness goals sustainably and gradually. If 3 - start looking for something else. If money is good enough that you can seriously consider leaving work, I'd look at using some of that spare cash to get a life coach/dietician/PT to help you make a plan too.

i must have missed it sorry. just read one post where you said you eat crap or similar. start there.

you cannot use food for comfort and then 'think' you need 2 hours of slow workout in gym or say you cannot shift weight.

hence the drama comment and your best advice is to speak to someone irl. get a pt too and good food. why are you not taking that simple advice since you can afford it?

It seems clear from your daily diet update OP, that whilst you spend 10+ hours per week on exercise, you have spent very little on meal planning or preparation.

Actually with income not being an issue, I would just outsource it and get lunch and dinner ingredient and recipes delivered. Eat the same thing every breakfast- I have one or two eggs either poached or scrambled with smoked salmon.

If you think giving up work will help, then go for it. You're in a much better financial position than most of us.

Then I had half a sandwich that my son didn't eat and a few nuts and a tangerine.

Then I just had a chicken thigh and potatoes that I made in the oven.

I'm going to try not to eat anything else today.

Christ alive - no wonder you sound so down!

I always feel like shit when my calories are coming from my DC's leftovers rather than food I've chosen to eat because it's good for me - I feel it really damages my self esteem to effectively think "I'll only eat if other people throw me some scraps" instead of thinking "actually, I'm a person in my own right and I'm just as entitled as my children are to eat a prepared meal that some thought has gone into".

Why not plan a nice lunch for tomorrow on your favourite plate? It doesn't have to be anything fiddly, but it would be nice if it were at least on a separate plate from your DC's food, wouldn't it?

Sounds like you're really asking whether it's a gd idea to quit work for the sake of your health, weight just being one aspect of this.
Your mum was not kind if she actually said "you're a mess" to you btw imo.
Do you have a loving supportive background eg family partner and friends?

Walking is really underrated. I was at my slimmest when I walked an hour to and from work each day, in all weathers. You don’t need the gym and fancy equipment (though some light hand weights are useful to have at home as you get older). Your work or school might be further, but you can park further away and get a good walk in as part of your day even if it’s just one way. I believe this is important for children too, to get used to walking as part of every day life. My commute is shorter now, but I still walk everywhere.

Yeah. My mum says it's just too much for me. She also knows the ins and outs of my health and she is worried that if I don't look after myself properly now, she'll need to step in and take care of me. It's pretty dark tbh. But it is what it is.

Lots of great advice on here op, makes sense to hire in a professional - pt, life coach etc.

Massive overtraining combined with undereating will leave you in a right state, regardless of how much you work.

I did Zoe and that showed I don't process fat or sugar, so need to be very compliant to lose weight but it has to be sensible.

All that cortisol!

Go look at Huberman on YouTube and Attia, etc.

But you sound more like you need decent therapy...

YANBU but it really does depend on the person and your reason for being overweight.

I lost 25kg and one of the reasons I was successful is because at that time, I didn’t have much to do so I could focus on making fun healthy meals and spend an hour talking myself out of making whatever poor choice I wanted to make or psyching myself up for exercise. I make extremely poor health decisions on the fly.

For people who are disciplined, consistent or good at forming habits that wouldn’t be necessary.