My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Do you think it would be easier to lose weight if you had more time ?

268 replies

kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 12:11

I am really really struggling to sort myself out with this.

Are these all just excuses though ?

I have lost weight successfully in the past, but I've also been exhausted by the whole thing.

I need to be super strict and spend around 2 hours in the gym a day, ( 5 days a week at least ) in order to see a change in my body. It's exhausting.

I have a full time job, two preschool aged children and a completely absent H, due to his work.

I also suffer from a condition which causes fatigue. So I start off with less energy than most people anyway. That is not even taking account the fact that I do all night wakings with my kids.

I just can't do all of this AND spend the time shopping/ meal prepping and going to the gym a lot.

How do people manage ? I really need to get back to a healthy weight and the only way I can see this happening is if I just don't work for a bit. I can afford to do this and yes I posted about this the other day. However I keep thinking- what if I take some time out from work to sort myself out and then I don't even manage to lose weight ?

Am I just making excuses ? How do people with so many responsibilities do it ??

OP posts:
Report
withthischoice · 07/01/2024 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sweetglossy · 07/01/2024 18:53

kitchenlover · 07/01/2024 18:13

@Sweetglossy I was talking about his support of a career break in general- he's not unsupportive of that.

In general, there are absolutely issues and I don't have enough support. And it shows!

There you go. I even read someone quoting you saying your mum said you are a mess. Maybe mum is trying tough love.

Get support at home; people with money buy support.

I will let you in on a secret of being a slim, gorgeous woman with kids, lucky enough to have money: Do not, and I say, do not do everything for everyone. It is one thing a wise woman warned me before I got married. Before even kids- I never ever did Husband's ironing etc etc. It got it sent out and back 2 days later- he paid for his ironing- we spent our Saturday together instead. When cooking was starting to get a bit much- I offered to get a cook in 3 days a week and pay for it myself- husband found he didn't need a cook to come in after all.

I worked out the fastest way to gain insurmountable weight for a woman lucky enough to have money and buy all help she can get, is trying to be martyr. Too much weight is HARD to shift. Don't give up. But get councillor, new Pt, dietician, fresh food in, book spa days and less stress. Make the changes long term- ditching a job should be long term. No point establish routine which is only for 3 months unless it is to kick start a new you and you have a sustainable plan on how to continue past the 3 months off work.

It is why I said I could help you. Most of us here can help you and you are paying us zero. Find something to do daily for 10 mins. 30 mins if possible. You will lose weight, just not if you are stressed as even your posts here show. You need direction. right now, you are directionless.

Report
GeckoEcho · 07/01/2024 19:03

CICO is 99% of it.

Report
kitchenlover · 07/01/2024 19:34

@Sweetglossy but I know I'm a mess. I'm not in denial about it. I know I need to make changes in many areas.

My mum thinks I should absolutely quit my job. She thinks what I do is waay too much for me and she's worried I'm going to get sicker.

She thinks I should live off my husband now and not contribute financially and ' he can pay for everything, he's never had to do that, he can step up '... that's what she thinks.

I take it with a pinch of salt. I just think it would help me to have a more relaxed routine for a bit, where I could focus more on what I need to do for me. Rather than running myself into the ground working and taking care of everything.

I know everyone here thinks I'm an absolute piss taker / liar / in denial / making excuses. But I think the more time you have, the more time you can sort yourself out without running yourself into the ground even more. That's how it's always been to me. I only have so many spoons of energy a day.

I already have a cleaner ( once a week ) and I've outsourced my husband's shirts since we moved in together in 2015.

If I didn't currently hate my job, I think it wouldn't be as much of a thing to consider. But I hate it anyway, maybe a time out will give me some headspace to consider my options with my career too. Rather than jumping straight into the first job I find. I might get sacked soon anyway, who knows.

OP posts:
Report
withthischoice · 07/01/2024 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Twilightstarbright · 08/01/2024 10:21

@kitchenlover as I said previously, I have multiple illnesses and I earn about 12% of what DH does in my 4 days per week job. If you have other financial sources apart from DH and you hate your job; if it were me I’d quit. I know not everyone has that choice, but you do so why not do it?

If I hated my job and my health was suffering whether that was physical or mental, I’d absolutely do it if I could afford to.

Report
kitchenlover · 08/01/2024 10:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I wonder what lovely thing was said here..

OP posts:
Report
Moonlightdust · 08/01/2024 10:47

kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 17:39

Today for example I had 3 coffees this morning. With milk.

Then I had half a sandwich that my son didn't eat and a few nuts and a tangerine.

Then I just had a chicken thigh and potatoes that I made in the oven.

I'm going to try not to eat anything else today.

I try not to eat until 12-1 pm. I have coffee with milk instead.

I hope you don’t mind me giving my opinion of your food/drink input.

3 coffees in one morning is quite a lot of caffeine. If you like hot drinks, I’d try to limit to 2 coffees a day and have herbal teas instead.
A fulfilling healthy breakfast is really important to kick start your digestive system for the day. Skipping it is not ideal.

Lunch - chicken (skinless) and potatoes is good. I would however bulk this out with vegetables which are important for a balanced diet.

Not having anything else to eat for the rest of the day is not good either.

OP, you seem to be quite defensive in not wanting to address you need to make a conscious effort to change the way you eat?
Yes exercise is important for mental health and overall fitness but in order to successfully loose weight you do need to eat regular healthy balanced meals.

Report
kitchenlover · 08/01/2024 10:57

@Moonlightdust I know that I need to change the way I eat and it's my main problem.


I'm finding it really really difficult to do, as I stress eat.

I find if I skip breakfast, I'm less hungry in the day. I have coffees to fill me up and suppress my appetite.

If I start the day with breakfast, I am constantly starving and find it really hard to stick to.

My main issue is mindless eating when I'm stressed - rewarding myself with food, as it's my crutch emotionally. I need to sort that out. I find that when I'm regularly exercising, I do make better choices with food too.

I've thought about hypnosis as well. Not sure if that would work.

It's a vicious cycle. If it was simple, there wouldn't be as many people out there struggling with weight issues. I think for a lot of people it's emotional stress that causes over eating.

OP posts:
Report
Moonlightdust · 08/01/2024 10:57

And I think for your own well-being taking some time out for your mental health is also important. You need to built up your self esteem. However hard it is, try doing just one little thing just for you a day. Even if that is simply having a bath with some bubbles and a candle or painting your nails. Look after yourself OP - that will help you feel a bit better about yourself and giving yourself some much needed TLC.

Report
kitchenlover · 08/01/2024 10:59

Moonlightdust · 08/01/2024 10:57

And I think for your own well-being taking some time out for your mental health is also important. You need to built up your self esteem. However hard it is, try doing just one little thing just for you a day. Even if that is simply having a bath with some bubbles and a candle or painting your nails. Look after yourself OP - that will help you feel a bit better about yourself and giving yourself some much needed TLC.

Thanks, you're very kind.

I'm going to give it until March- to see if I can make changes and give it one last push while staying in my job. If I still feel really burnt out, then I'll reconsider then.

OP posts:
Report
Moonlightdust · 08/01/2024 11:05

kitchenlover · 08/01/2024 10:57

@Moonlightdust I know that I need to change the way I eat and it's my main problem.


I'm finding it really really difficult to do, as I stress eat.

I find if I skip breakfast, I'm less hungry in the day. I have coffees to fill me up and suppress my appetite.

If I start the day with breakfast, I am constantly starving and find it really hard to stick to.

My main issue is mindless eating when I'm stressed - rewarding myself with food, as it's my crutch emotionally. I need to sort that out. I find that when I'm regularly exercising, I do make better choices with food too.

I've thought about hypnosis as well. Not sure if that would work.

It's a vicious cycle. If it was simple, there wouldn't be as many people out there struggling with weight issues. I think for a lot of people it's emotional stress that causes over eating.

I do completely sympathise as I’ve struggled with my weight all my life. I’ve been like a yo-yo at times and most certainly am affected by what’s going on in my life (work/kids/relationships etc) which strongly influences my eating patterns. I do however know from experience what works and am in the process of myself of having a massive health kick to loose about 3.5 stones. I am disappointed in myself that I’ve put back on the weight I worked so hard to loose but am determined to just take 1 day as it comes. I think if you look too far ahead, the journey seems so long and opposing. Just concentrate on a day at a time. For me personally, I have to detox my body and get into the routine of healthy balanced eating in order to gain the energy/focus needed to start exercising. Start with the diet overhaul, then gradually build up with exercise (weights, cardio and stretching) a few times a week. But keep it for short spells at first otherwise you will exhaust yourself and run out of steam.
Balance is key - to practically everything in life!
We can do this OP 💪

Report
Bearbookagainandagain · 08/01/2024 11:21

There is absolutely no reason for you to go 2h a day 5 days a week. With proper weight training and the right diet, you'll shift the weight in 45-60min 2/3x a week. Drop the cardio (beyond warm up and 5-10 min finisher), focus on weight lifting to build muscle mass.

Report
Bearbookagainandagain · 08/01/2024 11:24

Just to add: you are doing great! Just having the motivation and finding the time to get there 5x a week is amazing! You clearly have a lot of willpower, you just need to focus your effort on what works for you, and stop wasting time and energy on the rest.

Report
plumberdrain · 08/01/2024 12:51

You thread title is misleading OP

You seem very depressed about well, everything in life - your lack of support from your partner, your job, your weight.

So… let’s say you deal with your weight by taking 3 months off. Then what? still in same marriage. still in same job. and as you shows before… you’ll just put back on all the weight as your approach whilst it “worked” it only “worked” whilst the conditions were that you didn’t work! which is obviously unsustainable in the long term

Report
plumberdrain · 13/01/2024 06:59

how have things been since your last post Op?

Report
kitchenlover · 13/01/2024 08:15

plumberdrain · 13/01/2024 06:59

how have things been since your last post Op?

I'm fine thanks. I don't think this thread made me feel any better about myself / my life tbh.

I don't really think it was a good idea to post here.

I'll take the steps I think are necessary whenever I think they're necessary as only I really know and understand my life and don't need to justify what I do to anyone.

OP posts:
Report
plumberdrain · 13/01/2024 09:40

i read the entire thread Op

and it’s clear that the issues in your life are much more than your weight.

you sound very unhappy with a great deal. For what it’s worth - i think giving up work would not be a good idea BUT looking for a different one would be a good idea.

Take care

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.