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AIBU?

Do you think it would be easier to lose weight if you had more time ?

268 replies

kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 12:11

I am really really struggling to sort myself out with this.

Are these all just excuses though ?

I have lost weight successfully in the past, but I've also been exhausted by the whole thing.

I need to be super strict and spend around 2 hours in the gym a day, ( 5 days a week at least ) in order to see a change in my body. It's exhausting.

I have a full time job, two preschool aged children and a completely absent H, due to his work.

I also suffer from a condition which causes fatigue. So I start off with less energy than most people anyway. That is not even taking account the fact that I do all night wakings with my kids.

I just can't do all of this AND spend the time shopping/ meal prepping and going to the gym a lot.

How do people manage ? I really need to get back to a healthy weight and the only way I can see this happening is if I just don't work for a bit. I can afford to do this and yes I posted about this the other day. However I keep thinking- what if I take some time out from work to sort myself out and then I don't even manage to lose weight ?

Am I just making excuses ? How do people with so many responsibilities do it ??

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Raffington55 · 06/01/2024 16:13

Unfortunately, losing weight is really simple. We have to eat less. Even adding in exercise initially doesn't necessarily work as it makes us hungrier. If you can eat less you get used to eating less. If you have a piece of fruit for breakfast you won't kick start your metabolism the way, say, toast or cereal, would, and you'll not be hungry all day. You'll get used to functioning better on less.

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5128gap · 06/01/2024 16:17

kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 15:42

Thanks. But that was my whole point. My cup is so full, I'm finding it hard to do it.

I could take some of the responsibility away and make this my primary ' job ' for a while.

Well if you can, then in your shoes, I would. Personally I find that my life is so much better and easier now I'm not OW that it would be worth the investment of time and priority.

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Watchkeys · 06/01/2024 16:33

Thanks for the breakdown of what you're up to in the gym. You sound both very organised and very disorganised, both at once, like, perhaps, someone who has batch cooked and frozen meals for a month, but hasn't got a microwave or mended the broken oven :)

How do you split your resistance exercises? As in, how do you make sure they're all getting the right amount of training per week? And how hard is it to get to 12 reps for each set? Do you struggle/not make it sometimes, or are you always able to do 12 of each exercise?

And for cardio, it sounds like you just keep going until you can't go any more, which is a bit nuts, if you suffer from fatigue, isn't it?

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Watchkeys · 06/01/2024 16:39

Also, I'm thinking about the link between stress and weight gain... you might be shooting yourself in the foot if you're stressing yourself out, trying to complete a long, ineffective workout on a tight schedule.

Or it might be better if you actually did shoot yourself in the foot, so you could have a break, and sort out your diet.

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kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 16:46

@Watchkeys I tend to do the whole body when I'm first starting out.

A lot of lunges, squats, step ups, arm stuff like lateral raise, bicep curls, front raise, shoulder press. Then I do some ab work as well. I have a work out app I use when I'm more into it and try to focus on legs more one day, arms more the next day etc.

I know it sounds disorganised but I do feel like I work out my whole body when I do it.

I also play a lot of tennis when I can. These are all things I did on maternity leave, but I haven't been able to keep up with it since I went back to work. I was playing tennis 6 times a week on maternity leave and gym 3 times a week. It took up any breaks I could have ( baby was in crèche ) at gym to allow me to work out.

I remember my mum saying that it's going to be impossible for me to keep that up when I start work- she was right. The weight piled on since then.

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withthischoice · 06/01/2024 16:47

i have read all your posts Op and i think you jacking in work to lose weight would be nothing short of a complete disaster. You are not remotely in the right frame of mind.

Ramp up the walking and address your diet, which i suspect holds a huge amount of room for improvement

awaiting the excuses

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withthischoice · 06/01/2024 16:50

sorry if missed but fascinated what your partner thinks of this?

and i thought you’d concluded that you couldn’t afford to do it anyway?

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withthischoice · 06/01/2024 16:50

ah i see you can afford to do this

what does your husband think?

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kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 16:51

withthischoice · 06/01/2024 16:50

ah i see you can afford to do this

what does your husband think?

He says it's up to me. Doesn't really pressure me either way.

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kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 16:52

withthischoice · 06/01/2024 16:47

i have read all your posts Op and i think you jacking in work to lose weight would be nothing short of a complete disaster. You are not remotely in the right frame of mind.

Ramp up the walking and address your diet, which i suspect holds a huge amount of room for improvement

awaiting the excuses

Yeah you think ? Why ? Would I just not manage to actually do it, do you think ?

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NewYear24 · 06/01/2024 16:56

So you give up work, do your gym, lose weight, then what?
You need a nutrition plan, do you eat a lot of crap, have you tried eating less of it? Could you do a 20 minute You Tube work out ever other day?

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withthischoice · 06/01/2024 16:59

kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 16:52

Yeah you think ? Why ? Would I just not manage to actually do it, do you think ?

because you do very very little movement

because i suspect your diet is poor

and because you seem so convinced this weight gain almost has nothing to do with you and purely a “bad luck” issue with your body.

the combo of the above means jacking in work would be a shit show for your weight i suspect

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kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 17:01

@withthischoice


Eh, did you read how much I worked out when I had more time ? I'm actually really active when I have more time to myself.

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withthischoice · 06/01/2024 17:03

kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 16:51

He says it's up to me. Doesn't really pressure me either way.

he is completely unphased by the family income being halved so his partner can lose weight?

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withthischoice · 06/01/2024 17:04

kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 17:01

@withthischoice


Eh, did you read how much I worked out when I had more time ? I'm actually really active when I have more time to myself.

yes. Pre children!!!

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kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 17:04

@withthischoice I don't think I ever said I don't know why I've gained weight... I haven't been able to move as much and I have been stress eating because I'm very stressed out.

I said it takes a lot for me to lose weight.

Having a break from the responsibility of work would give me some time back to be more active and to cook better / meal plan etc.

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kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 17:04

@withthischoice no, while I was on maternity leave !!!!

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kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 17:05

And pre children.

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withthischoice · 06/01/2024 17:06

and before working out like that - we’re you as very overweight as you are now?

so this time you look back on… you had no children and you’re starting point i’m guessing is no where near as overweight as your are now?

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MartinsSpareCalculator · 06/01/2024 17:07

Unless you're bodybuilding you do not need to spend 2hrs in the gym. You need to consume less calories and do effective exercise - small weights with lots of reps, HIIT etc. What you're doing is neither effective nor sustainable.

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withthischoice · 06/01/2024 17:07

kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 17:04

@withthischoice no, while I was on maternity leave !!!!

So…. on maternity leave both would go to nursery every day so you could work out. Correct? your maternity pay presumably covering that cost?

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kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 17:07

withthischoice · 06/01/2024 17:06

and before working out like that - we’re you as very overweight as you are now?

so this time you look back on… you had no children and you’re starting point i’m guessing is no where near as overweight as your are now?

I was going to the gym 3 times a week and playing tennis 6 times a week from when my baby was 3 months old.

I was doing well. Then I went back to work and it's gone down hill.

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withthischoice · 06/01/2024 17:08

ok Op

jack in work.

Keep us updated and all the best

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Zanatdy · 06/01/2024 17:09

Eat less calories - most weight is lost in the kitchen not the gym. Sure get as many steps in as you can but you don’t need 10hrs in the gym a week to lose weight

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CoatOfArms · 06/01/2024 17:09

To be fair @withthischoice we don't know that the OP is "very overweight" as she is too embarrassed to say what she weighs or what her BMI is. There is clearly a very poor relationship with food/eating/exercise here. The OP is not some sort of medical miracle who can only lose weight with 10 hours a week in the gym, irrespective of what she eats.

I think all of us can understand that meal planning and shopping and everything when you have small kids is drudgery and it's so easy to slip into eating crap. But OP you'd be much better spending the money on Gousto, HelloFresh or similar to make sure you're eating a proper dinner.

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