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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH doesn't think critically about a recipe as he's making it

257 replies

shaniahoo · 04/01/2024 20:35

I desperately need to rant about my lovely DH, but not to his face since he's just made me a really lovely dinner and I am grateful for that. I am.

But when he cooks from a recipe he sometimes does something really weird because he read it wrong but doesn't notice that it might be wrong and question it.

So this evening we planned a new recipe from a Jamie Oliver book and I left it to him because I was out at an appointment. I said just follow the recipe. Jamie said use frozen mixed onion, carrot and celery but we don't have that nonexistent product so I got those vegetables in fresh. I didn't mention that to DH, didn't think it necessary. He decided to use the frozen mixed veg that we do have in, which is peas, sweetcorn, carrots and green beans. I don't understand why you would see "frozen onion, carrot and celery" and choose to use a frozen mix of completely different vegetables, rather than the same veg but fresh, and also apparently have never at any point considered that might be wrong. See it's not just misreading the recipe, it's also the fact that this veg is getting sauteed in oil and then add some vinegar and cook it off before adding chopped tomatoes. That's a REALLY WEIRD thing to do to peas and sweetcorn and he never considered that it was weird. He does more than half the cooking in our house and regularly makes pasta sauces that start with onion carrot and celery!

The meal was really nice anyway so I limited myself to a brief indignation then shut up about it and enjoyed the dinner.

There have been other times...like one time he made brownies from a jar recipe, and it said to mix together the dry ingredients then add eggs and bake. So because it didn't explicitly say to mix the eggs in, he poured them on top of the dry mix and put it in the oven like that. He said he was just following the instructions and they should have said to mix, but come on you're making brownies here, brownies do not consist of chocolate powder with baked eggs on top.

His visual memory is really bad, like he's a proper "kinesthetic learner" and doesn't seem to picture stuff in his head the way I do, which I've always struggled to understand and I wonder whether it's because when he's doing something he doesn't picture the end result as he's doing it, and therefore doesn't "see" a dish of powder with baked eggs on top of it, or pasta sauce with peas and sweetcorn as a base. Would love to hear from people whose brains work in the same way his does and who can fully understand making this type of mistake!

OP posts:
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TestingTestingWonTooFree · 04/01/2024 20:37

I have no visual imagination but I can cook just fine. I don’t know what his problem is, but I don’t share it.

Aquamarine1029 · 04/01/2024 20:38

There have been other times...like one time he made brownies from a jar recipe, and it said to mix together the dry ingredients then add eggs and bake. So because it didn't explicitly say to mix the eggs in, he poured them on top of the dry mix and put it in the oven like that. He said he was just following the instructions and they should have said to mix

Sorry, but that is just fucking wild.

mrsclaus1984 · 04/01/2024 20:40

Out of total curiosity…. O really do need to ask, what were the brownies like, did they basically have a layer of baked egg on the top of them?!

YouveGotAFastCar · 04/01/2024 20:40

I'm not sure that this is a "visual learner" thing.

Does he always need explicit instructions, or is it only for cooking?

NeverStopTwinkling · 04/01/2024 20:41

Definitely should have led with the brownies story.

The frozen veg... Meh. I can sort of see why he has done that. The brownies thing is bonkers.

Dacadactyl · 04/01/2024 20:41

I mean the brownie thing is odd in the extreme but the frozen sweetcorn thing wouldnt bother me in the slightest.

mrsclaus1984 · 04/01/2024 20:41

Sorry, that should have said “I”, not “O”.
mumsnet, please give us an edit post option!

FayCarew · 04/01/2024 20:41

Has he applied for Bake Off and Masterchef yet?

Edited just because I could

Soontobe60 · 04/01/2024 20:41

Id laugh at his quirky way of cooking!
next time you ‘plan a recipe’ maybe talk it through with him first?

shaniahoo · 04/01/2024 20:41

mrsclaus1984 · 04/01/2024 20:40

Out of total curiosity…. O really do need to ask, what were the brownies like, did they basically have a layer of baked egg on the top of them?!

I rescued it quickly enough that we were still able to mix it together before the eggs got totally cooked!

OP posts:
Katemax82 · 04/01/2024 20:41

The egg and brownie thing...sounds like my husband and stepdad, following a recipe to the word and not using their own judgment

Soontobe60 · 04/01/2024 20:42

mrsclaus1984 · 04/01/2024 20:41

Sorry, that should have said “I”, not “O”.
mumsnet, please give us an edit post option!

There is! I can’t edit my posts
I mean I CAN edit my posts as i am demonstrating right now!

WetBandits · 04/01/2024 20:42

Oh OP, I’ve been crying all day and the brownies story has actually really made me laugh, thank you 😄❤️

Hoardasurass · 04/01/2024 20:42

He sounds dyslexic like me I've made some crazy daft mistakes from misreading things😁😂

tomatoontoast · 04/01/2024 20:43

Sounds like a low IQ problem... How on earth did he not think to mix in the eggs?

Precipice · 04/01/2024 20:43

He said he was just following the instructions and they should have said to mix

Most recipes don't specify 'crack the egg into', but he was still able to figure that part out, wasn't he? Didn't just add the whole egg, contained in its shell?

shaniahoo · 04/01/2024 20:43

NeverStopTwinkling · 04/01/2024 20:41

Definitely should have led with the brownies story.

The frozen veg... Meh. I can sort of see why he has done that. The brownies thing is bonkers.

I agree the brownies thing is worse but the frozen veg thing happened tonight so I'm more incredulous about that one!

OP posts:
PuttingDownRoots · 04/01/2024 20:43

Can you find recipe videos instead?

Coffeespill · 04/01/2024 20:44

He's following the instructions- I think its unfair to be annoyed at him for that. It's how his brain is wired. Find someone who writes proper instructions like Delia Smith.

LolaSmiles · 04/01/2024 20:44

The brownies thing is unusual, but I definitely substitute vegetables within dishes and have been known to throw whatever frozen vegetables we have into the pot.

BrownTableMat · 04/01/2024 20:44

I’d probably have done the same with frozen veg - to me frozen veg is all pretty interchangeable in recipes but fresh is different and takes more prep. I think he did think critically about this, just came to a different conclusion from yours. And I regularly put frozen sweetcorn, peas etc in stir fries and they come out fine.

The brownies thing is weirder but I can’t bake to save my life so find it harder to comment.

Yorkshiredolls · 04/01/2024 20:45

I didn’t RTFT but just wanted to mention for future you can get frozen diced carrot/onion/celery mix in asda and Morrisons and it makes a really good base for pasta sauce and soups ✌

Xmastime2023 · 04/01/2024 20:45

Lack of common sense - very common 😁 - I’d also like to know if he’s like it in other areas?

Crikeyalmighty · 04/01/2024 20:45

By the way that frozen carrot, celery stuff is indeed very much a product called soffrito - I get mine in Waitrose- it's great in bolognese etc .

WhatWouldHopperDo · 04/01/2024 20:46

By the way, Tesco do sell that combo of veg frozen. It’s called chef’s mix or something. They don’t have it in stock often but it’s really useful to have in the freezer if you can get it.