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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Rude cleaner

131 replies

changedforthisone8533 · 03/01/2024 22:03

Had a few cleaners over the years. Got along with every one of them but this cleaner few across as very rude.

She doesn't say hello or talk or acknowledge when I speak to her and leaves without informing me.

Regardless, she's there to clean.
Over time, I grew tired of the rudeness and decided it wasn't a match so we both ended the situation mutually. I was actually planning on messaging asking her not to return when she messaged me saying she moved house so could no longer clean so I just left it.
All good.

I didn't end up replacing her as COL crisis mainly.

She messages me a few weeks back informing me she has moved to a new property near to my house so she can come back.
I responded and said I'd bear that in mind and may message her for the odd cleaning job.
I'm summarising as I don't remember the specific words exchanged.

Anyway, we arrange for her to come today. 3 hours.
She was supposed to arrive at 11am. Then changed it to 1pm but didn't arrive till 1:21pm. I have an intercom and a doorbell camera so checked these.
I was in the shower at the time as she was late and therefore was delayed opening the door for 12 minutes. (I live in an apartment so she was waiting inside my building on a sofa - warm not in the cold outside.)

At some point during the clean she informs me that she has broken an item. I was on the phone for a hospital appointment so acknowledged this but didn't spend too much time looking into the details.
She remarked at the time, "you can pay me £15 in full as I broke your item. Sorry"
She charges £16ph now, increased from last year.
Again she left without saying bye.

She messages me about the payment and informs me it's 3 hours £48. I remind her of the item she broke and ask her to clarify which item it was (2 bathrooms). She informs me it was a soap dispenser and I can pay her £45, a reduction of £3.
I informed her I'd check the cost and get back to her. It definitely wasn't a £3 soap dispenser.

Whilst I'm checking the price, she sends me a long message saying, 'she cannot accept any lower than £45. That the soap dispenser was loose and had tons of items around it and practically fell in the sink. She lives in London alone and the extra costs make a difference to her.'

Now, you might read this thread thinking I'm middle class as I can afford a cleaner. I'm a single disabled parent with a disabled child. I do not work and have a cleaner to clean things I couldn't clean (mobility issues). I'm in no way rich but I use some of my PIP to pay for a cleaner - haven't been able to do this for the past x months as mentioned though as costs have increased too much.
Regardless, my situation is irrelevant as is hers.

If she wasn't so rude and blaming me for the issue I may have tried to write it off but she has a habit of making me pay her extra for travel at times and tbh, I'm not in a financial position to write it off.

I'm starting to get pissed off with the blaming and the sob stories. She should have insurance to cover such a thing but I doubt she does from her messages.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MaryHinges · 03/01/2024 22:08

Why the hell did you even take her back??

Ihearticecream · 03/01/2024 22:08

I would probably pay the £45 and never invite her back. Look for a new cleaner. But if you can screenshot the cost of the item and feel it’s justified then you could pay less however it may be more hassle than it’s worth.

Sunnydays0101 · 03/01/2024 22:09

I don’t think you can deduct the cost of the broken item from your cleaner’s payment. I’m sure it was an accident and these things happen.

It is very frustrating your cleaner was late, the arrangement doesn’t look like it’s going to work out, so pay her in full for her time spent today and tell her you won’t be requiring her services going forward.

changedforthisone8533 · 03/01/2024 22:10

MaryHinges · 03/01/2024 22:08

Why the hell did you even take her back??

I know. I feel stupid now. I needed a one off clean and wanted to save the headache of finding someone new for a one off clean

OP posts:
changedforthisone8533 · 03/01/2024 22:10

Sunnydays0101 · 03/01/2024 22:09

I don’t think you can deduct the cost of the broken item from your cleaner’s payment. I’m sure it was an accident and these things happen.

It is very frustrating your cleaner was late, the arrangement doesn’t look like it’s going to work out, so pay her in full for her time spent today and tell her you won’t be requiring her services going forward.

Why can't I?

This is what insurance is for. She broke the item.

As I said, with previous cleaners I've written it off to be generous but why should I

OP posts:
GoldDuster · 03/01/2024 22:12

Fool me once... pay her off and find someone else.

GoodTimes10 · 03/01/2024 22:12

I would pay her from 1.21 pm to when we she finished and explain you won’t be using her going forward.
She will lose a lot more money than she would if she had just replaced or deducted the money for the broken item in the long run.

SallyWD · 03/01/2024 22:12

I don't know. I'm confused as to why you invited her back when you'd already decided you didn't want her to clean for you.
She was wrong to be late but you decided to have a shower when she was about to arrive (making a point?).
About the soap dispenser, I would have written it off. Accidents happen and maybe it wasn't her fault. My cleaner broke an expensive mirror but I just forgot about it.
I find it strange that she expects money towards her travel and you agree to pay this.
Just pay her the £45 and never use her again. There are plenty of other cleaners out there.

PsychoHotSauce · 03/01/2024 22:14

Surely it depends on how much it'll cost to replace the soap dispenser? A tenner, just write it off, pay her and never have her back again. If it's £50, let her know this and say something like "let me know what info you need from me for your insurers". Just assume she has it in your texts, she may well just write off taking payment for the clean if she isn't insured.

changedforthisone8533 · 03/01/2024 22:14

SallyWD · 03/01/2024 22:12

I don't know. I'm confused as to why you invited her back when you'd already decided you didn't want her to clean for you.
She was wrong to be late but you decided to have a shower when she was about to arrive (making a point?).
About the soap dispenser, I would have written it off. Accidents happen and maybe it wasn't her fault. My cleaner broke an expensive mirror but I just forgot about it.
I find it strange that she expects money towards her travel and you agree to pay this.
Just pay her the £45 and never use her again. There are plenty of other cleaners out there.

I wasn't making a point at all.

I was having a shower as I'd waited 15 minutes and she's often late. I won't go into it too much but I have certain conditions that mean it was unavoidable.

I've had cleaners break things and written it off but 1. She's rude. 2. I genuinely cannot afford to this time.

OP posts:
RolyPolyBatFacedGirl · 03/01/2024 22:19

The easiest and best thing all round is to pay her £45 and send her a message saying you will not be using her again and why

tennesseewhiskey1 · 03/01/2024 22:20

So you already found her rude, annoying etc etc managed to get a clean break when she moved, she then came back, and informed you, you could have left it but instead asked her back?! YAbU.

coldcallerbaiter · 03/01/2024 22:20

No I would not charge a cleaner for a soap dispenser. Just like my work office would not charge me if I accidentally broke a soap dispenser or any other item… so petty

doyouknowabout · 03/01/2024 22:21

Wait .. you were expecting her at 1pm and got in the shower at what 1:10/15 because she was late?That’s utterly bizarre behaviour.

And her sat waiting coats her money, as it will delay her even further.

Pay the money and cut your losses.

hedgehoglurker · 03/01/2024 22:22

How much was the soap dispenser? If you had broken it, would you reallly pay the excess and have your premium go up in order to replace it? If not, why do you think it reasonable for her to?

YABU.

You should pay her for her time and don't have her back.

changedforthisone8533 · 03/01/2024 22:25

doyouknowabout · 03/01/2024 22:21

Wait .. you were expecting her at 1pm and got in the shower at what 1:10/15 because she was late?That’s utterly bizarre behaviour.

And her sat waiting coats her money, as it will delay her even further.

Pay the money and cut your losses.

Yep. If you read the previous post you'll see why.
It wasn't some kind of punishment but she may have arrived hours later so I should have just sat and not moved until she arrives?

OP posts:
changedforthisone8533 · 03/01/2024 22:26

hedgehoglurker · 03/01/2024 22:22

How much was the soap dispenser? If you had broken it, would you reallly pay the excess and have your premium go up in order to replace it? If not, why do you think it reasonable for her to?

YABU.

You should pay her for her time and don't have her back.

If I had broken someone's item then I would offer to pay for the replacement yes.

We're not talking thousands of pounds so why can't she cover it?

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 03/01/2024 22:27

I would pay her for the time she worked. I would not deduct for breakages unless you have a contract stating that all breakages will be deducted from payment.

Soontobe60 · 03/01/2024 22:28

changedforthisone8533 · 03/01/2024 22:26

If I had broken someone's item then I would offer to pay for the replacement yes.

We're not talking thousands of pounds so why can't she cover it?

If the dispenser wasn’t fixed firmly, then thats on you. What sort of dispenser was it?

changedforthisone8533 · 03/01/2024 22:29

Soontobe60 · 03/01/2024 22:27

I would pay her for the time she worked. I would not deduct for breakages unless you have a contract stating that all breakages will be deducted from payment.

We have no contract.

It's a soap dispenser. Not a wall mounted soap dispenser.

OP posts:
Got2getout · 03/01/2024 22:30

How much was the soap dispenser?

Pay her for the hours she worked (not the 21 minutes she was late) then never use her again.

ChocolateTVandbaby · 03/01/2024 22:31

I'm not sure what the done thing is for items that are broken by a cleaner. I can understand why you would be annoyed she isn't offering to replace it but I'm not sure her rudeness comes into this. You said yourself you've written such things off in the past. It sounds like you just don't like her so I agree with PPs that you should pay her and find another cleaner. It may satisfy you to know she's still losing out for not paying you for the soap dispenser.

Minglingpringle · 03/01/2024 22:32

I would not deduct a breakage from a cleaner’s pay. They don’t earn enough for that, it’s too harsh.

If they kept breaking things I’d fire them. If they were rude annd late and annoying to have around I’d fire them.

Pay her, fire her, cut your losses.

tenbob · 03/01/2024 22:32

changedforthisone8533 · 03/01/2024 22:25

Yep. If you read the previous post you'll see why.
It wasn't some kind of punishment but she may have arrived hours later so I should have just sat and not moved until she arrives?

But she was coming to clean your bathroom?

So surely you would have a shower before she arrived, or was due to arrive?

Even if she had arrived at 1pm, you would have immediately said ‘ok I’m off to have a shower now, in the bathroom that you are supposed to be here to clean’

The relationship clearly isn’t working so put an end to it now. She is going to grate on you every time she visits, so find someone else

changedforthisone8533 · 03/01/2024 22:33

She's now claiming I'm underpaying her as she arrived and left at x time but my ring doorbell says otherwise.

OP posts: