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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Rude cleaner

131 replies

changedforthisone8533 · 03/01/2024 22:03

Had a few cleaners over the years. Got along with every one of them but this cleaner few across as very rude.

She doesn't say hello or talk or acknowledge when I speak to her and leaves without informing me.

Regardless, she's there to clean.
Over time, I grew tired of the rudeness and decided it wasn't a match so we both ended the situation mutually. I was actually planning on messaging asking her not to return when she messaged me saying she moved house so could no longer clean so I just left it.
All good.

I didn't end up replacing her as COL crisis mainly.

She messages me a few weeks back informing me she has moved to a new property near to my house so she can come back.
I responded and said I'd bear that in mind and may message her for the odd cleaning job.
I'm summarising as I don't remember the specific words exchanged.

Anyway, we arrange for her to come today. 3 hours.
She was supposed to arrive at 11am. Then changed it to 1pm but didn't arrive till 1:21pm. I have an intercom and a doorbell camera so checked these.
I was in the shower at the time as she was late and therefore was delayed opening the door for 12 minutes. (I live in an apartment so she was waiting inside my building on a sofa - warm not in the cold outside.)

At some point during the clean she informs me that she has broken an item. I was on the phone for a hospital appointment so acknowledged this but didn't spend too much time looking into the details.
She remarked at the time, "you can pay me £15 in full as I broke your item. Sorry"
She charges £16ph now, increased from last year.
Again she left without saying bye.

She messages me about the payment and informs me it's 3 hours £48. I remind her of the item she broke and ask her to clarify which item it was (2 bathrooms). She informs me it was a soap dispenser and I can pay her £45, a reduction of £3.
I informed her I'd check the cost and get back to her. It definitely wasn't a £3 soap dispenser.

Whilst I'm checking the price, she sends me a long message saying, 'she cannot accept any lower than £45. That the soap dispenser was loose and had tons of items around it and practically fell in the sink. She lives in London alone and the extra costs make a difference to her.'

Now, you might read this thread thinking I'm middle class as I can afford a cleaner. I'm a single disabled parent with a disabled child. I do not work and have a cleaner to clean things I couldn't clean (mobility issues). I'm in no way rich but I use some of my PIP to pay for a cleaner - haven't been able to do this for the past x months as mentioned though as costs have increased too much.
Regardless, my situation is irrelevant as is hers.

If she wasn't so rude and blaming me for the issue I may have tried to write it off but she has a habit of making me pay her extra for travel at times and tbh, I'm not in a financial position to write it off.

I'm starting to get pissed off with the blaming and the sob stories. She should have insurance to cover such a thing but I doubt she does from her messages.

AIBU?

OP posts:
SheilaWilde · 04/01/2024 01:09

If I broke something, accidentally, at work I wouldn't be charged for it.

It's very unreasonable of you to hold your cleaner's wage back for a breakage (a breakage that doesn't really affect your everyday life). You come across as being petty and controlling. Just pay the person their wage and get another soap dispenser or use a bar of Sheild (£1.49 for a pack of 4).

If you walked into Tesco and accidentally knocked into a display of mugs and they all smashed would you think it reasonable to be asked to pay for them?

Breaking the soap dish was an ACCIDENT. Get over it.

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 01:09

Duvetbump · 04/01/2024 01:09

Can you describe what the soap dispenser looks like/brand and we can check the price? It should be a very simple google search…

Lol at the hidden troll hunting

OP posts:
VeniVidiWeeWee · 04/01/2024 01:10

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 00:55

@VeniVidiWeeWee we have no contract, verbal or otherwise

Yes you do. YOU, "Please spend x hours cleaning my home for x pounds per hour".

Cleaner. "OK".

That's a valid contract.

MuckyPlucky · 04/01/2024 01:10

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 01:09

Lol at the hidden troll hunting

‘LOL’ at your use of English

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 01:11

@Spomsored OK so she broke the contract by not turning up at the agreed time or doing the agreed hours.

What I meant by that was the contract doesn't stipulate anything about these potential circumstances so its of no use.

Enjoy the troll hunting, I'm off to sleep.

OP posts:
ReadingSoManyThreads · 04/01/2024 01:13

Just make sure you block her number once you've sent her whatever you're paying her.

Isittimeformynapyet · 04/01/2024 01:13

changedforthisone8533 · 03/01/2024 22:43

Not really how it works.
I can afford an iPhone. If someone broke it could I outrightly buy a new one? No.

That's irrelevant. The point is she broke something and is not offering to pay and is now trying to overcharge.

What... so your new £30 soap dispenser is on contract?

Duvetbump · 04/01/2024 01:13

Just wondering why you can’t just google the price yourself! Then you’d actually know how much the damage has cost.

MuckyPlucky · 04/01/2024 01:14

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 01:11

@Spomsored OK so she broke the contract by not turning up at the agreed time or doing the agreed hours.

What I meant by that was the contract doesn't stipulate anything about these potential circumstances so its of no use.

Enjoy the troll hunting, I'm off to sleep.

It’s of every use.

YOU: “Please clean my apartment for x hours for £x”

SHE: “Yes”

End of. If you’d wanted to put get-out clauses in there in case fancy sink items got damaged you should’ve put that in the above contract. But you didn’t, so you can’t now break the contract over damage of said fancy item.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Zoreos · 04/01/2024 01:14

This reply has been hidden

This reply has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

MuckyPlucky · 04/01/2024 01:15

This reply has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

🤣

Duvetbump · 04/01/2024 01:15

😂

VeniVidiWeeWee · 04/01/2024 01:16

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 01:11

@Spomsored OK so she broke the contract by not turning up at the agreed time or doing the agreed hours.

What I meant by that was the contract doesn't stipulate anything about these potential circumstances so its of no use.

Enjoy the troll hunting, I'm off to sleep.

I think a court may well disagree.

MuckyPlucky · 04/01/2024 01:17

Anyone else thinking they’d need to be paid a LOT more than £16/hr to clean for the OP?? 🥴

QueenCamilla · 04/01/2024 01:18

That poor child.

Zoreos · 04/01/2024 01:19

MuckyPlucky · 04/01/2024 01:17

Anyone else thinking they’d need to be paid a LOT more than £16/hr to clean for the OP?? 🥴

I don’t think it matters how much you charge, she won’t pay you regardless. 🫠🫠

MuckyPlucky · 04/01/2024 01:20

QueenCamilla · 04/01/2024 01:18

That poor child.

No no! That child enjoys gold-plated soap dispensers.

MuckyPlucky · 04/01/2024 01:21

Zoreos · 04/01/2024 01:19

I don’t think it matters how much you charge, she won’t pay you regardless. 🫠🫠

True. I’d just nick her solid gold sanitary ware in lieu of wages.

Datingadv · 04/01/2024 01:24

I hope this post isn’t legit.

OP, we have all said you need to pay the cleaner. Pay her. You don’t need to think or decide. Just pay her.

It doesn’t matter if she was late. You still let her in and she still provided the service you verbally agreed.

Soap dispenser? Jesus 🙄

Zoreos · 04/01/2024 01:25

MuckyPlucky · 04/01/2024 01:21

True. I’d just nick her solid gold sanitary ware in lieu of wages.

This just gave me visions of diamond encrusted tampons. I think it’s probably time for bed. 🤣

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 04/01/2024 01:26

changedforthisone8533 · 03/01/2024 22:10

Why can't I?

This is what insurance is for. She broke the item.

As I said, with previous cleaners I've written it off to be generous but why should I

That's what your insurance is for. I've never, ever in over 30 years of having cleaners deducted anything for breakages. You can't just unilaterally deduct a random sum.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 04/01/2024 01:30

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 00:55

@VeniVidiWeeWee we have no contract, verbal or otherwise

You absolutely do have a contract.

Notmatthewmcconaughey · 05/01/2024 15:58

@changedforthisone8533 what happened then? Did you pay her?

changedforthisone8533 · 06/01/2024 08:28

Notmatthewmcconaughey · 05/01/2024 15:58

@changedforthisone8533 what happened then? Did you pay her?

It escalated with threats and such. I left it for that day. And paid x amount the next day. Haven't spoken since. So it's solved.

OP posts:
AGoingConcern · 06/01/2024 08:42

Pay her the $45, tell her you don't think it's a good fit and move on. Deal with the inconvenience of finding someone new.

You dislike her (perhaps fully justified) and are using the soap dispenser as a scapegoat issue. Unless it was some insanely expensive dispenser, it would be absurd to expect her to file a claim with her insurance and it's petty to make her pay for it - occasionally things get broken. If she was frequently breaking things then I would suggest no longer using her services, but that's redundant at this point.

When you find a new cleaner, politely request that they let you know when they arrive and when they are leaving. Some clients want cleaners to be as invisible and silent as possible while some find that same approach rude, so state your preferences.