Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Rude cleaner

131 replies

changedforthisone8533 · 03/01/2024 22:03

Had a few cleaners over the years. Got along with every one of them but this cleaner few across as very rude.

She doesn't say hello or talk or acknowledge when I speak to her and leaves without informing me.

Regardless, she's there to clean.
Over time, I grew tired of the rudeness and decided it wasn't a match so we both ended the situation mutually. I was actually planning on messaging asking her not to return when she messaged me saying she moved house so could no longer clean so I just left it.
All good.

I didn't end up replacing her as COL crisis mainly.

She messages me a few weeks back informing me she has moved to a new property near to my house so she can come back.
I responded and said I'd bear that in mind and may message her for the odd cleaning job.
I'm summarising as I don't remember the specific words exchanged.

Anyway, we arrange for her to come today. 3 hours.
She was supposed to arrive at 11am. Then changed it to 1pm but didn't arrive till 1:21pm. I have an intercom and a doorbell camera so checked these.
I was in the shower at the time as she was late and therefore was delayed opening the door for 12 minutes. (I live in an apartment so she was waiting inside my building on a sofa - warm not in the cold outside.)

At some point during the clean she informs me that she has broken an item. I was on the phone for a hospital appointment so acknowledged this but didn't spend too much time looking into the details.
She remarked at the time, "you can pay me £15 in full as I broke your item. Sorry"
She charges £16ph now, increased from last year.
Again she left without saying bye.

She messages me about the payment and informs me it's 3 hours £48. I remind her of the item she broke and ask her to clarify which item it was (2 bathrooms). She informs me it was a soap dispenser and I can pay her £45, a reduction of £3.
I informed her I'd check the cost and get back to her. It definitely wasn't a £3 soap dispenser.

Whilst I'm checking the price, she sends me a long message saying, 'she cannot accept any lower than £45. That the soap dispenser was loose and had tons of items around it and practically fell in the sink. She lives in London alone and the extra costs make a difference to her.'

Now, you might read this thread thinking I'm middle class as I can afford a cleaner. I'm a single disabled parent with a disabled child. I do not work and have a cleaner to clean things I couldn't clean (mobility issues). I'm in no way rich but I use some of my PIP to pay for a cleaner - haven't been able to do this for the past x months as mentioned though as costs have increased too much.
Regardless, my situation is irrelevant as is hers.

If she wasn't so rude and blaming me for the issue I may have tried to write it off but she has a habit of making me pay her extra for travel at times and tbh, I'm not in a financial position to write it off.

I'm starting to get pissed off with the blaming and the sob stories. She should have insurance to cover such a thing but I doubt she does from her messages.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Rollon40 · 04/01/2024 00:37

Omg stop being such a total cow! Pay the woman her money and move on. Charging a cleaner for a soap dispenser, expecting her to claim on insurance, jfc. They earn fuck all and do hard graft to make your life easier, give the woman a break. You're just being difficult because you don't like her.

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 00:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Ew 😋

OP posts:
MuckyPlucky · 04/01/2024 00:38

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 00:34

Are you OK?

Do you think disabled people should only buy items from pound land

Nope. I am one of those ‘disabled people’ of whom you speak. Also been on PIP. Also needed a cleaner when my health wouldn’t allow.

Was pointing out the contradictions in your own post…. Being at pains to explain that money is tight, yet in the next breath saying you recently bought a bizarrely overpriced item which is so dear that you want the cleaner to claim on her insurance to cover it 🤣

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 00:40

Rollon40 · 04/01/2024 00:37

Omg stop being such a total cow! Pay the woman her money and move on. Charging a cleaner for a soap dispenser, expecting her to claim on insurance, jfc. They earn fuck all and do hard graft to make your life easier, give the woman a break. You're just being difficult because you don't like her.

She does hard work to make my life easier?

I thought she worked to earn money.

My cousin earns less pH for working tirelessly as a nurse

OP posts:
MuckyPlucky · 04/01/2024 00:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Absolutely this. But also with a dollop of wilful pernicketiness / pettiness.

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 00:42

@MuckyPlucky not that I even bought it but so what if I did?

How much is acceptable for someone on pip to spend on a soap dispenser?

OP posts:
MuckyPlucky · 04/01/2024 00:43

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 00:40

She does hard work to make my life easier?

I thought she worked to earn money.

My cousin earns less pH for working tirelessly as a nurse

And that’s your cleaners fault how? 🤔

Maybe that says more about our underfunded public sector than it does about your bountiful wages you pay those who tirelessly do your housework 🤷🏽‍♂️

MuckyPlucky · 04/01/2024 00:46

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 00:42

@MuckyPlucky not that I even bought it but so what if I did?

How much is acceptable for someone on pip to spend on a soap dispenser?

Just unlikely, that’s all (from a lot of personal experience).

Apartment in a building with concierge / ‘warm comfy sofa’ in reception. 2 bathrooms for 1 adult & 1 child. £30 soap dispenser.

TBF it doesn’t fit with your own narrative of being someone who can’t afford to pay for what you feel to be an essential service.

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 00:47

@MuckyPlucky Sorry you don't understand comparison.

You're right, the reason she goes to work every day is to make my life easier.

OP posts:
MuckyPlucky · 04/01/2024 00:47

This reply has been hidden

This reply has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 00:49

@MuckyPlucky

Your post makes little sense.

We all choose how and where we spend our money.

£48 a week.

I could afford to pay that if I wanted to and cut something else out but I don't so I can't afford that expense.

As someone who claims to be disabled you seem to have little understanding.

OP posts:
BrainInAJar · 04/01/2024 00:49

I find it noticeable how many cleaners break things regularly. From watching them eg the one that cleans our communal areas in our block of flats it's because they work at a frantic pace and can be very heavy handed. Presumably under pressure to get to the next job. Really puts me off ever having a cleaner in my actual flat.

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 00:50

Not gonna respond anymore. Your intentions are questionable. Cya

OP posts:
Rollon40 · 04/01/2024 00:50

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 00:40

She does hard work to make my life easier?

I thought she worked to earn money.

My cousin earns less pH for working tirelessly as a nurse

That's nice but we're not talking about your cousin.

As above, your cleaner earns fuck all and does hard graft the outcome of which is to make your life easier. You are privileged enough to be able to pay somebody to do the cleaning you aren't able to do (and yes, I know you are disabled, but sounds like you coped without one, so sounds like it's a luxury rather than a necessity), you have the money sitting in your account, just do the right thing and pay her.

VeniVidiWeeWee · 04/01/2024 00:54

changedforthisone8533 · 03/01/2024 22:50

Nope. Was a friend of my previous cleaner.
She's SA and it's a casual arrangement with no contract in place.

There is a contract in place. It may be verbal but it's still a legally binding contract.

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 00:55

@VeniVidiWeeWee we have no contract, verbal or otherwise

OP posts:
changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 00:56

@Rollon40 Yeah I'm not gonna even respond to someone that thinks they know more about my disability than me.

OP posts:
Zoreos · 04/01/2024 01:00

Considering you asked for advice, you’ve done nothing but argue against every logical answer you’ve been given. You painted yourself to be reasonable and her unreasonable in the beginning, no doubt because you believed we would all go “aww no, yanbu op don’t pay her”. As you’ve not got your desired answer, you’ve become more and more entitled, rude and unreasonable. It’s completely evident you were always blatantly going to withhold her wages which is stealing. Your disability or lack of funds are irrelevant. She cleaned your home and you won’t even pay her for it fairly. You didn’t offer her a contract to protect yourself or check if she had the relevant insurance. You have to pay her for her service and separately pursue her for the damaged items through the courts so they can decide who is liable. You’re not judge, jury and executioner and I hope she takes it further. If there’s any justice in the world the soap dispenser will be the least of your problems. If I was her I’d be warning every agency that you don’t pay. Disgraceful.

LilyDough · 04/01/2024 01:01

If I was in this situation I'd just pay her and call it a day. Seems a lot of hassle to argue the toss over a few quid. Just don't have her back, job done.

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 01:02

Zoreos · 04/01/2024 01:00

Considering you asked for advice, you’ve done nothing but argue against every logical answer you’ve been given. You painted yourself to be reasonable and her unreasonable in the beginning, no doubt because you believed we would all go “aww no, yanbu op don’t pay her”. As you’ve not got your desired answer, you’ve become more and more entitled, rude and unreasonable. It’s completely evident you were always blatantly going to withhold her wages which is stealing. Your disability or lack of funds are irrelevant. She cleaned your home and you won’t even pay her for it fairly. You didn’t offer her a contract to protect yourself or check if she had the relevant insurance. You have to pay her for her service and separately pursue her for the damaged items through the courts so they can decide who is liable. You’re not judge, jury and executioner and I hope she takes it further. If there’s any justice in the world the soap dispenser will be the least of your problems. If I was her I’d be warning every agency that you don’t pay. Disgraceful.

Aww okay

OP posts:
MuckyPlucky · 04/01/2024 01:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Zoreos · 04/01/2024 01:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Rollon40 · 04/01/2024 01:06

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 00:56

@Rollon40 Yeah I'm not gonna even respond to someone that thinks they know more about my disability than me.

I'm going on what you have written in your OP, hence 'sounds like', but feel free to correct me. To be honest your posts reek of entitlement.

Remember that she knows where you live. If you dont pay her I sincerely hope that she shoves dog turds through your door - have fun cleaning those up yourself 😘

Spomsored · 04/01/2024 01:07

changedforthisone8533 · 04/01/2024 00:55

@VeniVidiWeeWee we have no contract, verbal or otherwise

The messages between you form a contract

"Can you come on Wednesday for 3 hours?"
"Yes. I will come at 11 o'clock. I charge £16/hour"

Just pay the woman for the time she was at your flat. Now. It doesn't seem she was particularly rude this time (apart from being late) so you can't penalise her for that. The soap dispenser can be claimed from your insurance if you think it's worthwhile - you know she doesn't have liability insurance or she would be charging more.

Duvetbump · 04/01/2024 01:09

Can you describe what the soap dispenser looks like/brand and we can check the price? It should be a very simple google search…