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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Rude cleaner

131 replies

changedforthisone8533 · 03/01/2024 22:03

Had a few cleaners over the years. Got along with every one of them but this cleaner few across as very rude.

She doesn't say hello or talk or acknowledge when I speak to her and leaves without informing me.

Regardless, she's there to clean.
Over time, I grew tired of the rudeness and decided it wasn't a match so we both ended the situation mutually. I was actually planning on messaging asking her not to return when she messaged me saying she moved house so could no longer clean so I just left it.
All good.

I didn't end up replacing her as COL crisis mainly.

She messages me a few weeks back informing me she has moved to a new property near to my house so she can come back.
I responded and said I'd bear that in mind and may message her for the odd cleaning job.
I'm summarising as I don't remember the specific words exchanged.

Anyway, we arrange for her to come today. 3 hours.
She was supposed to arrive at 11am. Then changed it to 1pm but didn't arrive till 1:21pm. I have an intercom and a doorbell camera so checked these.
I was in the shower at the time as she was late and therefore was delayed opening the door for 12 minutes. (I live in an apartment so she was waiting inside my building on a sofa - warm not in the cold outside.)

At some point during the clean she informs me that she has broken an item. I was on the phone for a hospital appointment so acknowledged this but didn't spend too much time looking into the details.
She remarked at the time, "you can pay me £15 in full as I broke your item. Sorry"
She charges £16ph now, increased from last year.
Again she left without saying bye.

She messages me about the payment and informs me it's 3 hours £48. I remind her of the item she broke and ask her to clarify which item it was (2 bathrooms). She informs me it was a soap dispenser and I can pay her £45, a reduction of £3.
I informed her I'd check the cost and get back to her. It definitely wasn't a £3 soap dispenser.

Whilst I'm checking the price, she sends me a long message saying, 'she cannot accept any lower than £45. That the soap dispenser was loose and had tons of items around it and practically fell in the sink. She lives in London alone and the extra costs make a difference to her.'

Now, you might read this thread thinking I'm middle class as I can afford a cleaner. I'm a single disabled parent with a disabled child. I do not work and have a cleaner to clean things I couldn't clean (mobility issues). I'm in no way rich but I use some of my PIP to pay for a cleaner - haven't been able to do this for the past x months as mentioned though as costs have increased too much.
Regardless, my situation is irrelevant as is hers.

If she wasn't so rude and blaming me for the issue I may have tried to write it off but she has a habit of making me pay her extra for travel at times and tbh, I'm not in a financial position to write it off.

I'm starting to get pissed off with the blaming and the sob stories. She should have insurance to cover such a thing but I doubt she does from her messages.

AIBU?

OP posts:
changedforthisone8533 · 06/01/2024 08:57

AGoingConcern · 06/01/2024 08:42

Pay her the $45, tell her you don't think it's a good fit and move on. Deal with the inconvenience of finding someone new.

You dislike her (perhaps fully justified) and are using the soap dispenser as a scapegoat issue. Unless it was some insanely expensive dispenser, it would be absurd to expect her to file a claim with her insurance and it's petty to make her pay for it - occasionally things get broken. If she was frequently breaking things then I would suggest no longer using her services, but that's redundant at this point.

When you find a new cleaner, politely request that they let you know when they arrive and when they are leaving. Some clients want cleaners to be as invisible and silent as possible while some find that same approach rude, so state your preferences.

It's already solved.

But I've always been friendly with all my cleaners. They always say bye.
She never said bye and I think I've gotten to the bottom of it now. She always claimed she did x amount of hours. I got a Ring Doorbell in late October so this time I was able to say with confidence what time she left and arrived so I suspect I overpaid her for a long time.

Anyway it's dealt with now and she definitely won't be returning and should I hire a cleaner again I'll go to an agency as I did the first time. I started paying them directly as I realised that the agency took such a cut put it's best for the cleaner and I to have that shrhfybto call back on.

OP posts:
Katemax82 · 06/01/2024 09:35

In future use an agency. They will pay you for breakages

changedforthisone8533 · 06/01/2024 09:46

Katemax82 · 06/01/2024 09:35

In future use an agency. They will pay you for breakages

Definitely. Smile

She has broken things in the past that I've let slipped but it was the reaction to me saying "I'll look up the costs" I didn't say I would charge her x amount or the full amount or anything

OP posts:
Rollon40 · 06/01/2024 13:09

changedforthisone8533 · 06/01/2024 08:28

It escalated with threats and such. I left it for that day. And paid x amount the next day. Haven't spoken since. So it's solved.

How much was x amount?

JMSA · 06/01/2024 13:15

But no-one is holding a gun to your head for you to employ her Confused
It sounds like she's not happy with you as a client and never was. And you're not happy with her as a cleaner. So why carry on?
And the social skills issue wouldn't bother me if she was good at her job. Another thing, is there a reason you don't give her her own key? I'd also let the soap dispenser thing go. Seems a bit mean not to.
Definitely fault on both sides here.

changedforthisone8533 · 06/01/2024 13:27

JMSA · 06/01/2024 13:15

But no-one is holding a gun to your head for you to employ her Confused
It sounds like she's not happy with you as a client and never was. And you're not happy with her as a cleaner. So why carry on?
And the social skills issue wouldn't bother me if she was good at her job. Another thing, is there a reason you don't give her her own key? I'd also let the soap dispenser thing go. Seems a bit mean not to.
Definitely fault on both sides here.

She's not employed. It was a one off basis. She had no issue cleaning for me.
Why would i give her a key?

OP posts:
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