Nursery: Christmas jumper

[Ny24]

AIBU?

So my DC is 2 yrs old and in Nov/Dec got a heap of Christmassy type clothes. Some very obviously Christmas (Santa jumper), some more fair isle type stuff. I bought quite alot of things and so did family - e.g my Mum bought 3 jumpers etc etc. So there is genuinely a lot of it but it all got worn from end of Nov through to New Year but obviously still in very good condition.

Some of the stuff I bought was really lovely and not that cheap - it was from John Lewis and JoJo etc but for me, I always think well lovely clothes for pics over the Christmas period and then it's stuff that can be worn for nursery till it gets wrecked/no longer fits.

So this morning did drop off at nursery and the staff member made a point of saying 'oh a Christmas jumper' quite disparagingly..... to be honest the jumper they went in with today wasn't 'that Christmassy' - it was a red fair isle jumper with small robins on it. But I do fully intend to send DC in with their Santa jumper in the coming weeks.

To be honest, I don't really care - given the tatt and thread bare leggings and stained tops I see other kids sent in wearing, a child going in wearing a lovely warm, clean, non-stained, albeit 'Santa' jumper isn't something I'm going to lose sleep over. It's nursery - clothes get wrecked. They fit. They're good quality - they can be worn for nursery until the weather gets warmer is my attitude. I'm not judging the monstrosity of outfits I see other people sending their kids in because I completely get it - it's nursery - and everything comes home with paint and tomato sauce and glitter all over it.

But I just wondered is this an eye rolling what the hell is that mother playing at - type of thing? Or would most of you just think the same - clearly got a lot of Christmas clothes, it's nursery, the child is 2yrs old - of course it makes sense for the child to wear them?

Or would you be secretly judging me thinking I'm very unreasonable? I'm genuinely planning on my DC getting full use out of these clothes for nursery till March! So be honest - I want to know what I'm up against! Haha.

I think you're being very sensible

Yes of course - but, most people would class that as ‘Christmas period’.

If someone came into work wearing something that was ‘Christmassy’ at any other time apart from Nov, Dec and Jan. I would find it odd.

I also pack up all our Christmas table wear including cups, plates, linens etc. I even pack away all the Christmas style teddies that my kids have accumulated over 20 years. They love seeing them and unboxing them each Christmas.

@Ny24

Right, I'll try one last time before I give up. You described other kids clothing as a "monstrosity". That is not a factual nor neutral description by anyone's standards. That is very clearly and deliberately assigning your own value judgement to another person's clothing. There is of course nothing wrong with that if that's you're opinion - we are all entitled to them. However, let's not pretend for one second that using value laden terms such as "monstrosity" is anything other than a judgement, because that's exactly what it is. You are clearly indicating within that description that you quite strongly dislike the clothing - that in itself is a judgement. Monstrosity means "very ugly" - so let's not pretend you're judging the clothing in a positive light, you're clearly not.
It's like if I went into work tomorrow and commented on a colleague's new hairdo - if I say "have you had your cut, Barbara? Looks shorter", that's a value / judgement free observation/ question. However if I say: "wow your hair looks bloody awful Barbara, definitely doesn't suit you like that!" - I am clearly making a judgement. Same applies to the language you used in your OP, which however which way you want to counter argue it - WAS the very definition of a judgement.

You then countered it with:

Passing judgement is placing meaning behind it

Which I argue is utter rubbish. I don't have to explain to Barbara at work specifically why I think her hair looks awful, to have judged her negatively by simply using the word "awful". I've indicated my dislike with that alone.

You also said:

Looking at a child and saying that child is wearing thread bare leggings, or that outfit is a monstrosity - is an observation, a fact.

This, in my opinion, is the height of arrogance and entitlement. When someone believes steadfastly that their OPINION is a fact. No, it is not a fact that the outfit is a "monstrosity", anymore than it's a fact that Barbara's hair looks awful - someone else might love it! That's my opinion and I will own it as such (if I were indeed to express it), but it's not a fact.

A fact in the situation you describe would be to objectively describe the jumper - "little Tommy is dressed in a blue jumper with a snowman on", for example. That's an objective fact that others can't disagree with. But whether the jumper is pleasant or not to look at, is a matter of opinion or individual judgement.

I do hope that clears up where I'm coming from. If not, then I'll wish you well and disengage from here onwards.

Ps.

I am absolutely NOT a "black and white" type of person either - quite the opposite. But I do object strongly to people who claim their opinions and views are "facts". No, they are not. That is absolute arrogance to claim your observation/ opinion as the correct version of events. We all have a different subjective reality, after all.

I think you should stock up on Christmas outfits in the sales so you can send DC to nursery in Christmas outfits all year round, give the nursery staff something worthwhile to comment on 😅

One last thought, when you said this:

Passing judgement is placing meaning behind it - it's thinking 'they must dress their children like that because - they're poor, because they don't care, because they have no etiquette etc etc'.

This would be passing judgement on a person's circumstances and personality because of the way they dress their children. In other words, what you're saying here is, you don't extrapolate from "scruffy clothing" = "poor/no etiquette". So you don't make assumptions about the parents based on their child's clothing, is what you appear to be saying.

However, that's not what I'm accusing you of, so we are at cross purposes. I'm saying that you are judging the aesthetic of the clothing itself by using the word "monstrosity". Hence the sentence in your OP about not judging the "
monstrosity of outfits others dress their kids in was so hugely ironic to me - because that statement itself was so heavily judgemental.

So maybe what you really meant to say here was, even though other parents dress their kids in monstrous outfits, I don't judge their social backgrounds based on this. Because that seems to be the point you're defending.

If that makes any sense whatsoever.

Ok sure - you're right - leggings with holes in them, described as thread bare or tatty, are an opinion not a fact. Hand-me-downs are an opinion, not a fact. A top with a stain down it, is an opinion not a fact. You win.

And you're right, I'm a terrible person. I do describe a 3yr olds choice of outfit at times as a monstrosity. My arrogant and judgemental arse absolutely does laugh in the face of their outrageous fashion sense because I'm awful. I couldn't help it those bloody 3yr olds with their fleecy jumpers, fairy tutus and gruffalo wellies - grrrr! I mean I don't tell them they look a bloody state to their face (only here) but you've reformed me now, so the next time one of the parents gives me a wry smile about their child's outfit - I will get out my pitchfork and wave it at the bastards! Judgemental arrogant pricks - that they are.

Back to the question - did you say whether a Santa jumper in January was ok or not, I can't remember now?

😂😂

And then bring out the Easter bunny jumpers for December! Haha.

My kids wear Halloween and Christmas clothing all year round if it fits and it suitable for the weather. I couldn't give a shit what anyone else thinks about it.
Anyway, it's still Christmas until the weekend, the wise men haven't even arrived yet.

@Ny24

Wow. Unnecessarily passive aggressive and sarcy. I was actually genuinely trying to explain where I was coming from there without being a total arse. Shame you're not capable of the same.

and no, since you ask, I wouldn't personally put my child in a Santa jumper in January, but you do you.

👍🏻

I'm wearing a Christmas jumper right now and one of my DC was wearing one earlier this week as it's being washed as I type this.

Honestly, they're clothes and they're weather-appropriate. I'm more concerned it seems an issue to so many people what others choose to wear.

I was just thinking I probably wouldn't put my little one in a Christmas jumper now but I think I did last year as I wanted it and nursery staff should know that children pick l sorts of things.

I will probably not put a Christmas jumper on them now but it wasn't nice of her to make you feel silly.

I found the comments about the ‘monstrous’ clothes and ‘threadbare’ clothes judgemental also

Are you for real? You've come at me in more than 7 individual posts. There's 7 posts in just the last few pages. You haven't accepted my attempts to explain myself multiple times, either directly to you or elsewhere in my thread. You've gone as far as to screenshot the meaning of the word 'judgement'. You've nit-picked and pulled out individual sentences of something I've wrote with wordy explanations of why they're wrong.

You've named called me (arrogant/judgemental etc) and replied to other posters to laugh at me and you're actually going to sit there and say you're berating was a genuine kind attempt to explain something and I'm the one being the total arse 😂and you're the one offended because I was 'sarcastic'. Mind blown.

But cool you wouldn't put your child in a Santa jumper! That's all I wanted to know! Cheers.

The textile industry is one of the leading cause of climate change.

Why are we purposely buying jumpers that will only be worn once or twice? Insane.

I'm definitely more interested in things being weather appropriate than anything else.

When DC were babies and I got their clothes in the sale, they were always wearing out of season babygros and vests. Same as toddlers.

They'll now wear Christmas PJ's all year round, as they're washed and rotated. Jumpers until it's warm again. DS has a Santa t-shirt that he wore all of last summer, and should fit again this.

I don't have any Christmas-specific clothes, but when I did have a couple of Christmas jumpers, I'd also wear them whenever the weather was appropriate for them.

Capitalism has won when you restrict yourself to only wearing clothes for 2½ months when they're still perfectly wearable. And it's not even been the coldest part of winter yet!