Should i be concerned about the boy next door

[Jacksmom4eva]

HI just looking for some advice please. There is a little boy living next door in a flat with his parents but hes never been seen! We hear him playing in frontroom and all over xmas hes been laughing and playing games from the sound of it but we share a back gate and in 3 months i've lived here no-one has seen him, they keep curtains closed and go to bed quite early (8ish), neither parents go to work and not talkative if u see them.

Would u be concerned ?

So you've spoken to all the residents in your block about them? Do you watch them 24/7? How do you know if they don't go out and he's not seen by people not in your block?

Not necessarily if the kid has health problems.
I’m sure OP will report it. I’m not sure anything will come of it. I also think there are more adult ways of approaching it. Like finding ways they can’t avoid you. Literally block them in the stairwell and force friendly chat on them. Ask them what day the bins are with the Christmas break. Ask after a “missing” parcel that may have been delivered to them. Happens to me all the time with my nosey neighbours. Hadn’t occurred to me they were checking on my child they haven’t seen… now the pitchforks make sense.

I don’t know if you know this, but there’s still people with autoimmune diseases and other conditions who still have to isolate themselves long after the pandemic. He could be a poorly child.

I’d fill in the nspcc form. Then it’s up to the professionals and you can rest easy knowing that you’ve done your bit.

And it’s really not healthy for a child to never ever see daylight.

Report OP. Imagine if that child was found dead next week and you didn't raise the alarm. You're doing the right thing xx

They could be under police protection?

It is bizarre. The parcel and shopping thing alone is completely strange. You'd collect it or answer the door when a neighbor brings it round.

That's awful, sounds like your neighbour saved the child's life! Thank goodness she did the right thing and even multiple times! Too often these services fail children after supposedly "checking" on them and determining they are fine :(((

Why "report", why not just knock on their door?

Presumably because actually confronting the neighbours about not yet having seen their child (in three whole months!) would make it clear how ridiculous the OP is being.

I've often heard my neighbour's kids playing in their garden, behind a high hedge, but I've never seen them, and I've been living here for years. I suppose I'm negligent for not contacting the CIA.

OMG, the amount of people turning this on the OP, making it out like she is some curtain twitching busy body.
Have you even read everything she said?
Stop with your guesses and excuses for these parents, yes there's a chance it's all fine but all details added together paint a very suspicious picture. Have none of you seen countless child abuse cases in the news?? It does bloody happen and far too often. OP, your reasons to worry are completely valid, please please talk to Childrens Services or NSPCC and report - it costs you nothing but could save a child's life!
I used to volunteer with NSPCC and can assure you, they are very helpful and take reports very seriously, you won't be a nuisance.

OP I think considering everything you’ve said, I would definitely seek a welfare check.. Very strange for neighbours who have been there for years to have never seen the child and blinds/curtains permanently closed. How others see this as not being a red flag I don’t know..
I am sure the Turpin children wished a ‘nosy’ neighbour had raised concerns. Better safe than sorry.

Whatever you decide to do OP keep us informed.

Seriously? If there is something wrong the neighbours are hardly going to confess to it are they?

And given how often we read of abusive parents pulling the wool over the eyes of social workers I doubt one visit by the OP will clear things up.

Oh and didn't the OP say she tried to hand on deliveries she taken in and they didn't answer the door for that.

I've often heard my neighbour's kids playing in their garden, behind a high hedge, but I've never seen them.

Your neighbour's children were clearly getting outdoors. The OP and the neighbours here have a communal open space.

Massively offending reclusive neighbours vs potentially rescuing a child from a bad home or more likely accessing support isn’t a hard decision.
Report @Jacksmom4eva

Another thing you can do is pop round with a small bag of chocolates or sweets and say that you're giving out late Xmas/New Years treats to all neighbours children, and you want to give one to theirs too. That should get the child to the door ideally, so you can see him.

"Seriously"

Um yeah, seriously. She knows there's a child there, because through the wall she can hear him/her happily playing in the flat next door.

So what's the problem? Oh, her "concern" is that she hasn't yet seen this child, who apparently moved in a just a few months ago, or may be just visiting the family that did.

Unless she's actually a 24/7 busybody, that's not terribly unusual. Many people keep themselves to themselves especially in such unfortunate close-living circumstances, which are usually a matter of economic necessity rather than choice.

You can spin any number of abduction and murder fantasies, but the fact is she's just heard a child happily playing and thinks she ought to "contact the authorities" about it.

So what did you do with their Iceland shopping? Hope you put a note through the door saying thanks for the food.

Here's an idea - how about being warm, friendly and neighbourly to the parents, instead of gossiping about them behind their backs with all and sundry. If you really want to help that child, that's the best thing you can do.

Did you not go round and knock about the shopping? Or leave them a friendly note? If not, it's possible they have no idea where it went/ think it was stolen. It's just been Christmas and you are new to the building - did you send them a Christmas card - that's what I always do when I move somewhere new.

You have only been there for a short time and have no idea of the backstory. How do you know that one/ some of the other neighbours have not been abusive to the family? It sounds extremely likely to me, given the level of gossip and interest in this family being shown by the rest of the people in the block. This would also explain why they keep the curtains shut, given your kitchen faces them.

You work with children. Safeguarding lead at your work suggests there could be an issue. Trust yourself and your own instincts, they are way better than a bunch of randoms on the internet. Better safe than sorry.

Just seen on your other thread that your 16 year old is not in work or education, so is probably at home most of the time.

Has she been staring at the neighbours through your window that faces theirs?

In case you haven't noticed - you, too, are just a random on the internet. 😂

By all means if you have concerns report it. However, I do think you are rushing to conclusions. My partners sister is the same age, has low functioning autism and has been on a waitlist for funding for a specialist placement for over a year. This post could be about my mother-in-law, she’s tired and you will never see her daughter out in public. She hasn’t got the energy to talk to all the neighbours after dealing with meltdown after meltdown. Cautious, yes. But, as neighbours don’t gossip about people until you know the full extent of what’s going on.

Aside from the fact that OP has said the parents do go out just not with the child, this post is hilarious. Social services would not do a thing about parents who don't take a child out die to agoraphobia. They refuse to help severely disabled children or severely disabled parents and do everything possible to avoid fulfilling their statutory duties including causing disabled people immense stress having to battle them for years for support that they and their children are legally entitled to for severe disabilities. Not very "helpful". They'd have no interest in agoraphobia whatsoever!

Everything @LuckyVoila said about Home Education is correct. As you said, you are far from an expert on this, however, I am, and I can assure you that there is no 'register' for UK home educating families. We do not need permission to Home educate, nor do we have to be 'on the radar' to do so. Many of us stay under the radar for many years until a nosey neighbour or local busybody reports us to the council.

IF a family do become known to the LA, they can and often do ask us about our provision for each child. They are not allowed to ask us about our provision anymore than once per year UNLESS they have a genuine concern that the child is not receiving a suitable education.

If a family is NOT known to the LA, then we can live in peace and harmony without any contact from the LA, that is, until a nosey neighbour or local busybody reports us to the council.

The DoE Guidelines are very clear that is should NOT be assumed that no education is taking place, just because we are not known to the LA. It is also very clear that there is no legal requirement for us to be 'registered' with the LA.