Should i be concerned about the boy next door

[Jacksmom4eva]

HI just looking for some advice please. There is a little boy living next door in a flat with his parents but hes never been seen! We hear him playing in frontroom and all over xmas hes been laughing and playing games from the sound of it but we share a back gate and in 3 months i've lived here no-one has seen him, they keep curtains closed and go to bed quite early (8ish), neither parents go to work and not talkative if u see them.

Would u be concerned ?

Closed blinds, would rather forfeit a shop...

Sounds to me like they aren't supposed to be in that flat

You think it’s ok for a child to never go out of the house? Not even allowed in the garden?

The "laughing" could be a RECORDED audio! PLS trust your instinct and do something ASAP!

I think OP reading everything you've said, a call to social services sounds about right.

There could be some extremely rare condition keeping g the boy inside, or a witness relocation programme for the family. But all the behaviour you've listed speaks to concerning isolation, and who looks after the child when you have seen the parents out without him

So taking all this onboard, I'd make a call because that's about all I could do to help ensure the safety and well-being of the child, and the family.

I feel it needs to be pointed out that home education is perfectly legal in the UK and not, in itself, a safeguarding concern. I home educate my DC and I'd be pretty hacked off if my neighbours reported me to social services because they never saw them going to school.

Call child services at Local council.

Problem with children not going to school or childcare is that problems don't get identified.

It really tough op as I know really out to stay out of it. But make a quick anonymous phone call. If you don't want to call child service call NSPCC

If you don't want to call log it on local police website non emergency website thing.

Yes, I would. If you're concerned that he's not at school. Explain that you are NDN and need to stay discreet about it. They can check if he's registered with GP, school, HV. My concern would be that he's being 'hidden' for a reason even if he sounds happy enough and that the parents don't want others to know that he's there.

You can't see any potential harm at all for reporting a family for the fact you haven't personally verified their comings and goings?

Home educating is legal and not, in itself, a safeguarding concern.

But if someone did call it want be raised and a concern as you will have registered them as being home educated. It's the children slipping though the gaps. The ghost children which no adults other than parent or stepparents. Or alternatively chaotic assortment of adults in and out of their lives.

So many of them in the past few years have died as a result of no input from other agencies and these are just the high profile ones.

This is not the situation you are in. It's completely different (unless you have a shared access path to flat that your children never use and never open your blinds)

Also if someone knocked on my door and asked me Round for coffee there is a no way I would go!

You’re definitely right to be concerned, on the countless safeguarding trainings I’ve had, I’ve been encouraged to be curious and follow up if it feels off, you could anonymously report to NSPCC as a starting point?

Mine are registered as home educated because I pulled them out of school so their details were already on file. Had they not been at school originally they would not be "registered" as the council would not have their details. There is no register of home educated children, that doesn't exist. If you're a home educating parent you're not obliged to register that decision with your local authority and that is still not, in itself, a safeguarding concern.

I’m sorry… but seriously. I have a baby and my curtains are rarely open. Anyone with a child who isn’t a good sleeper knows the importance of darkness for sleep and nap times.
You said you heard him playing and laughing. That’s hardly suspicious. I grew up next to a family where the mum abused the children (SS were aware) and we’d hear crying, angry shouting and all kinds of horrible things.
So you haven’t seen him. I can see nothing else you’ve said to show anything of concern (“they wear hoodies” doesn’t cut it). Even then… maybe he’s disabled or has health problems that mean he’s unable to go out, which is why you haven’t seen him. Or they just want to avoid nosey neighbours and sneak out when they know they aren’t being watched. Still none of your business unless you’ve seen or heard something to indicate something is seriously wrong.
Also you could actually directly speak to them (we all have THAT neighbour who doesn’t take a hint…) and say, something like “oh how old is your child? My child/nephew/niece/grandchild is x, maybe we can arrange a play date”. Literally anything except jumping to conclusions.

i think you are right to be curious and concerned. You have to trust your instincts…

I’d say right to be concerned. 9 months in you’d have a pretty good idea of who lives around you. And if he is 5-6 he should be attending school or you should hear then homeschooling him in the day. As someone who has worked in roles with a fair oversight of child neglect issues and CAFCASS files I’d say please trust your gut on this - always better to be safe than sorry. Don’t let a few naysayers on the internet put you off.

Unfortunately there will be multiple cases of child neglect that will be happening in our country this very minute - don’t live next door to one and leave it too late for intervention. Report anonymously and if you’ve got the wrong end of the stick then you have and the authorities will realise and back right off. If they are struggling they will be offered help. And if it’s abuse you’ve helped a child escape an impossible situation.

I agree with this but couple that with never seeing 5/6 yr old coming or going from the property isn't normal (nor healthy)

There are a number of potentially valid reasons, but the number of children harmed at home during Covid lockdowns who had limited or zero contact with a range of social authorities, it's not a risk I could take.

Agree with both of these.
Glad I don't live near you. Busybody.

Home education doesn't necessarily look or sound like school based education. OP has already said she does hear the child.

By all means report to SS but, on the basis of what has been written here, don't expect them to be very interested.

A laughing child doesn’t necessarily mean no neglect is occurring. Closed curtains isn’t suspicious in itself, but it’s one part of a whole host of unusual behaviour.

If you read the thread you’d know that OP has tried to speak to them on several occasions but they don’t answer the door & actively avoid all neighbours in the street.

I actively avoid 99% of my neighbours, they're a PITA.

You sound like a nightmare nosy neighbour. Mind your own.

And I would be massively ofended that a welfare check had happened because a nosy neighbour was trying to monitor my life.

Maybe they're immigrants who don't speak English or rehomed Ukranians due to the war who are just uncomfortable interacting.

I agree not seeing the child is a concern not getting daylight and possibly not being educated.

Yes, but the OP can’t talk to them directly then can she? Which is what I was answering.

My neighbour had twin boys who were in year 8 when we moved. We lived next-door them for 3.5 years. We have never seen them. We'd hear them play in the garden at times. I guess I should have called SS!

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