Should i be concerned about the boy next door

[Jacksmom4eva]

HI just looking for some advice please. There is a little boy living next door in a flat with his parents but hes never been seen! We hear him playing in frontroom and all over xmas hes been laughing and playing games from the sound of it but we share a back gate and in 3 months i've lived here no-one has seen him, they keep curtains closed and go to bed quite early (8ish), neither parents go to work and not talkative if u see them.

Would u be concerned ?

Me too. Especially the nosey ones.

What is up with all the nasty comments on this thread. I’m sure OP has a busy enough enough life to get into other people’s business. OP is obviously concerned about this which is why she has asked.

I would report to the NSPC, if they do a welfare check and all is well that’s fine.
God knows how many vulnerable children would have wanted a neighbour like OP ago have some concern for them.

Think of the big cases of child protection that have led to deaths. I wish those neighbours had reported concerns. They might still be alive.

Of course it's ok to report. Someone will
Make a decision based on your info. In this country we should be more vigilant and aware.

Oh tosh! What is this “unusual” behaviour. I’ve not read anything of the sort! I have no idea who lives around me and I do everything to avoid all neighbours at all costs. Even Christmas morning I had to purposely look very focussed on getting the car loaded to avoid having to say hello or even worse -“merry christmas”. I hear my neighbours through the wall and no doubt they hear LO at all hours, but they’ve never actually seen her. May as well report me as I meet all the obvious criteria. Wore a hoody last week as well.

And as my comment said, when you live adjoining to someone abusing or neglecting their children there are more signs than closed curtains and people avoidance.

OP can be more persistent in trying to engage them when she sees them. Or go ahead and report it if that helps OP, but as a pp said, don’t be shocked when a hoody and closed curtains doesn’t bring anyone knocking on the door.

@LuckyVoila I don't think that quite correct.

However I am far from an expert on this. I understood for safeguarding purpose the LA needed to be aware of what the provision for each child is. This is to avoid those who "fall through the gaps"

Do you work op? Honestly I find it difficult to believe you're watching out so attentively that you know the child never leaves the house at any time. The neighbours know them as the couple with the boy. That would suggest at SOME point someone has seen the child.

What we know is that you've not heard anything concerning from the home suggesting abuse. That they wash his clothing and hang it on the line, that you've only been there for 3 months and actually have zero idea what age this child is, if he's school aged, home schooled etc. Because you can't tell that from clothing hanging on the line.

By all means report. Just be aware that nothing might happen, because this unlikely meets the threshold for intervention. It would make an intriguing plot line for a book though. Rear Window-esque

Good lord - the amount of posters on here taking the piss out of OP, due to her concerns is disgusting. This is exactly what is wrong with society today..People are more concerned about appearing nosey or looking like a dick if they report things and are wrong! Go with your instinct OP and report. Who knows,you could be one of many ?

I would be concerned too. I can think of many worrying explanations why this child could be hidden from the world and being stuck indoors with no natural light can’t be healthy regardless of how happy he sounds.

I think their behaviour seems highly odd. I would report it. Amazed at the number of people who keep their curtains shut. Let in the light! You’ll feel a thousand times better.

It could be an abducted child...

It's definitely odd and I would be concerned.

My adopted son lived in a place with closed curtains and did not go out. He was taken into care as his family could not care for him.

It doesn't necessarily mean anything is going on, but it could be.

Trust your instincts

I live in a close of 12 flats and I rarely see anyone from the other 11 flats.

I think it's odd if you take in parcels and shopping and it's never collected. I'm now starting to think of paranormal sh!t🤣

Why don't you stop them next time you see them and make conversation. If you genuinely do find it strange then call for a welfare check but be warned, you won't be told what's going on in the house so your curiosity may not be satisfied.

I honestly think it's possible you don't see the child coming and going. How often do you hear him? Is it every night or occasionally? Could they be babysitting?

At best it sounds like they have anxiety and don't get out much. I hate getting parcels from neighbours myself (but I do.) At worst it could be something awful and I think I'd ring ss if I wasn't sure that he was even going to school.

Is it possible he goes to breakfast club at school and comes home before you've finished work every day?

A school aged child would at least once be seen being ferried to school and back, etc. The fact that none of the neighbours have ever seen this child, not even playing in the garden, is odd.

And as my comment said, when you live adjoining to someone abusing or neglecting their children there are more signs than closed curtains and people avoidance.

Sadly I have to disagree with you due to my own experience with previous neighbours. Sometimes there aren’t any obvious signs of neglect.

If it's really bothering you, you could knock on their door and say:

"I'm concerned about the little boy who lives here, 'cos I've never seen him even though you've been living here for several weeks. So you'd better let me have a damn good look at him or I'm going straight to social services. And while you're at it, open your bloody curtains so I can get a proper view of your domestic life."

And the amount of people who seem to be so proud that they avoid their neighbours.

Of course you don't want to be living your like like a soap opera where you're constantly in and out of your neigbours' houses but going to the lengths of one poster to avoid a simple "good morning" or "merry Christmas" is bizarre and a bit depressing.

This exactly.

Erm….. home school…? Or does that offend you too?

I suddenly got a bit freaked out by this thread. It would make a really good ghost story or thriller - especially when someone asked if there was actually a child living there (shudders).

OP, you are right to be concerned. No one in the block has seen the child and it sounds as if he may never go outdoors.
My God, I can’t believe the sneery comments on here.

Shame on anyone who tries to discourage you from getting professionals to check up on him.

Unbelievable, on a parenting forum.

I’m pretty sure the kid you describe here wasn’t laughing and sounding happy.

It could well be that the child is neurodivergent and prefers being indoors. Many do. If they are laughing a lot, I have to say I would not have reported.

It’s possible but no one could know for sure. Homeschooled children would still regularly be ferried back and forth to homeschool meet-ups, clubs, the park, etc so still doesn’t really account for him not being seen.

A welfare check couldn’t hurt, better to be safe than sorry as many have already said.

Most people on here don't even have kids 🧒 so they don't understand a parent's instinct.

I think you need a good reason to report to ss and so far you don’t have one. If you do report it will be awful for your neighbours as they will know they were doubted by another neighbour.