To hand my notice in..

[snowinlove123]

I've worked part time since my youngest (who's 2) was a few months old. I've been at my current job around 6 months.
I'm considering handing my notice in and being a SAHM for a year or 2. I hate having to drag her out of bed before it's even light to get her to nursery before I start work, I don't enjoy the job and for 2 days it's only £700.
Mentally it's on my mind all the time thinking how I hate it. DH has her the second day while he works from home and said it's getting increasingly more difficult with her being more demanding. I wouldn't want her to be in nursery 2 days. It wouldn't be worth it.
Dh says he'd be supportive of me if I wanted to have a break. He said the money saved on childcare I could just keep for myself. I pay no bills or anything towards the house. The £700 just goes in my bank and I spend it on whatever.
It's a job that's in demand as it's so badly paid and women walked out in drones over lockdown. For example I had a 7 year break from this job and walked straight back into it.

What would you do?

I would keep the job op.
I used to hate waking dd up but would hate being totally dependent on dh more. Try and look at the bigger picture.

Wow I'm shocked your DH's company allows him to have a 2 year old whilst at work- or does he work for himself?
You clearly don't want the job so personally I'd just leave if it's no issue going back after a few years and you won't fall behind ... I couldn't for this reason, albeit I wanted to work anyway as had been studying many years to be where I was.
Give it up and enjoy your family

Woah, this thread is going to be a pile on about a 2 year old being "looked after" by someone who is working at home.

Enjoy your time with your little one the early years go so fast x

You can't look after a 2yo whilst WFH, that could be really dangerous as she isnt being supervised.

I would definitely quit given that you hate it and don't need the money. If you want to work why not try and find some other flexible part time work eg WFH charity admin or working in the evening in a pub or restaurant?

Well if your DH is working and looking after DC I agree you should quit or pay 2 days nursery as that’s not fair on either employer or child

I wouldn’t. Very understandable that you feel like this and I can relate as I felt like this when my DD was that age, but play the long game. Never make yourself wholly dependent on another person for money. However much you trust them.

Work may feel pointless now but it could be a lifeline and if you give up it’s so so much harder to get back in.

You don’t have to stay at a job you don’t like or need.
But what’s all this fuss about waking up a child to get her ready for nursery? It’s literally one day a week, as she stays home the other day.

I was in the same position. Didnt overly enjoy my job but my son was 5 and just starting school (which is increasingly more stressful than nursery due to the hours and not wrap around care!)
My contract came to an end, my DP earns more than enough to provide for us so I didn't rush to find another job. I've had 3 months off and I am slowly starting to look for something new but I'm not rushing and finding something which inconveniences me and childcare. I don't regret it and I do wonder why I struggled through when he was little and didn't take more time off.

He doesn't exactly own his own company but he owns part of the company and runs his own office and staff, so he isn't but he isn't his own boss. It was ok when she was younger but now she's much more mobile he struggles to be on the sofa on his laptop while she wants attention, and understandably when I get home the living room is a mess.
I know it's just one day a week but I just hate it.. she usually doesn't wake up until around 9 if not much later and we have to be up and out by 7.30. I just find it a ballache and I have to struggle to find a park at one end of town to drop her off, to then drive round town to where I have to park for work and then walk 10-15 mins to work. It feels like I've had a morning before I've even started!
I don't know whether to just have a few months off and then look for cafe type work once spring comes round.

He is but he isn't his own boss that's meant to say 🤦🏼‍♀️

It's only 2 days. I think you would be mad. I managed to continue working FT with three children and now as retirement looms, I am bloody glad I did.

Could your husband not take her to nursery later?

@SoIRejoined I think that's what I might look at, a couple of evenings a week or something x

OP I was in a similar situation to you, assuming your finances can take it for a few years and your marriage is steady. I would hand your notice in without a backward glance. These are the years. And fwiw I had a lengthy career break, waltzed back in no problem and then changed career path slightly and am completely rejuvenated and love working FT now that my dc are a bit bigger.

@allmyliesaretrue unfortunately not as it's his office day and he's up and gone before nursery opens.

I honestly have no idea how people work full time when they have young kids. I take my hat off to you. I only have £1800 in my retirement pot (I'm 35) and that's including working FT for about 8 years. It's such a poorly paid job. I think pro rata full time I would take home £21k and I have to pay for registration and CPD.. it's very poorly paid.

My experience is almost exactly the same as @Marmaladegin

If you want to do it and your DH is onside, go for it.

Hmmm

Pay nothing to rent and bills and get to keep £700 for "whatever"

You know what everyone would say if the boot was on the other foot.

Still surprised in this day and age women are happy to be "kept" and not want to contribute for their own self esteem and pride

He said the money saved on childcare I could just keep for myself.

You obviously don’t share finances. He’ll let you keep the money saved on childcare but will he allow you to have any overview of the family finances? I was a sahm for many years so I can see the value but I wouldn’t have done it unless everything was shared, which it was from the day we married. The above statement makes me concerned that your dh doesn’t see you as an equal partner. It suggests that he sees you as worthy of only the money you’re saving him. You know better than me if that’s what he’s actually like but unless he’s offering full involved and access to the family finances, I’d not only be continuing to earn my own money, I’d be trying to find a full time job too.

Sounds like you're an LSA/TA- the pay is shocking. I appreciate what people are saying about dependency, but hand in your notice and search for something you want to do.

Only on this website would £350 a day be described as ‘badly paid’

@Sd1960 £350 a day? I earn £700 a month for 2 days a week?

Which works out around £87 a day - childcare is £55 a day as it's just risen from January.

@GlitteringUnicorn oh yeah I completely agree, if a woman was paying all mortgage and bills and a man was keeping £700 a month to himself there would be uproar!

By pile on, do you mean multiple people quite rightly pointing out that you cannot effectively work from home and effectively look after a two year old at the same time, nor is it actually permitted by most if not all companies?

An uncomfortable truth for some it seems!

I would leave the job and concentrate on your child for a bit. When my 1st child was 2 I had a second maternity leave with DC2 so I suppose that is kind of similar?

These are very formative years, it will be nice for you and your child.

Do work out some sensible shared finances between you and DH , and at some point see if he might also contribute to a pension for you. You dhould make sure you pay your national insurance while you aren't earning, too.

Plenty of time for you to return to work when DC is at school, either to your current job or to something different.