To hand my notice in..

[snowinlove123]

I've worked part time since my youngest (who's 2) was a few months old. I've been at my current job around 6 months.
I'm considering handing my notice in and being a SAHM for a year or 2. I hate having to drag her out of bed before it's even light to get her to nursery before I start work, I don't enjoy the job and for 2 days it's only £700.
Mentally it's on my mind all the time thinking how I hate it. DH has her the second day while he works from home and said it's getting increasingly more difficult with her being more demanding. I wouldn't want her to be in nursery 2 days. It wouldn't be worth it.
Dh says he'd be supportive of me if I wanted to have a break. He said the money saved on childcare I could just keep for myself. I pay no bills or anything towards the house. The £700 just goes in my bank and I spend it on whatever.
It's a job that's in demand as it's so badly paid and women walked out in drones over lockdown. For example I had a 7 year break from this job and walked straight back into it.

What would you do?

I could never have given up work and been dependant on my DH
Apart from anything else my mum would have disowned me 😂
She brought me up as a feminist and never to give up my independence

I’d keep on with nursery, will you be entitled to the new 15 hour funding starting in April for 2 year olds?

@JoJo10 I know they are a nursery that is offering it, but do you know what the criteria is?

The relationship boards are full of women who became entirely reliant on their partners, then it all went wrong. 50% of marriage wnd in divorce.

Please don't leave yourself vulnerable, no matter how much you trust your DH, life can change in an instant.

Hate your job, look for one you like. But please don't take the risk of giving up work entirely. I personally know 3 women in our circle who are getting divorced after being SAHMs and their husband's have decided to cheat/ leave. Hope for the best, plan for the worst.

@Motheranddaughter

This x 100

I understand that but even if I worked full time, the jobs I can get at the moment would never pay for a mortgage. £700-£1200 a month isn't exactly financial independence 😞

I get the feminist aspect and respect it, but the OP is giving up a two-day-per-week menial job, she’s not the head of credit derivatives at JP Morgan.

If the husband decides to divorce her come Easter, she’ll have a claim on his financial assets and the ability to walk back into something similar to her old role whenever she pleases. 🤷‍♀️

I think it’s the same as the age 3 30 hours funding. Work 16 hours (or paid equivalent 16 hours minimum wage) for both parents.

If I had never met DH and stayed working full time, I'm pretty sure I would be on a low enough wage to claim UC. If we split, working or not, I would have to get benefits to be able to afford somewhere on my own (or live on whatever I got from the house sale/divorce)

@JoJo10 my contract at the job is 15 hours (8.45-5.15 2 days with an hour break) I wonder if I will qualify with not working 16

@Reddog1 head of credit derivatives at JP Morgan 😂

I effectively worked for nothing for over two years. Nursery fees took the equivalent of my wages (from the joint pot). Twenty years on, keeping working has been the single best decision I made. No high flying career (I worked in the NHS). But it preserved my skills, my sanity and the power balance in our marriage. And importantly, my pension looks good.
I don't feel I missed out on anything working part time. As a woman who would be left with any DC in the event of a split always always think worse case scenario.
Think long term.

I would keep your job OP to keep your hand in and allow your DD to be socialised (a bit of nursery is generally good for DC).

Considering you have a very worryingly low retirement pot, you should put the £700 per month in there.

Are you paid more than minimum wage? It’s the equivalent of 16hours so think it’s £120 a week roughly.

I'm paid £11.25 an hour

Totally agree with previous poster, hand your notice in if you want to, but hand it in to look for another job- not to stay at home.

Even if your DH is on £60/70k a year and you have access to ALL of that money (not just £700 that he will let you “keep”), there is a huge cost of your pension. You keep commenting on how low pay this job is in terms of your pension but what you don’t seem to realise is that the options are not “low paying job or no job”, you can look for a better paid job. I’d really recommend looking at jobs in the civil service if you are in the UK, the salary’s are good, the pension is better than most, and you can apply for flexible hours/term time so you still have all school holidays off, could even ask for a short working week to work for example 4 days hours over 3 days.

Id keep working but id be putting it into a pot for your and your DD Future. Pensions/ investments etc

even if you saved up 500 of that 700 every month that would be 6k a year thats 12k in those 2 years you would have stayed at home, thats a good amount to get her started in life when shes older or something

If i was you i'd quit.

I agree financial independence, or the ability for, is important. But so is happiness and time with your child. It sounds to me like you're a bit 'stuck' in life and maybe some time out might help focus what you want to do. You'll get loads of people on here saying i worked full time blah blah blah. But that doesn't mean you have to!

Do what is right for you. But also be wise with it. Have a plan for pension/national insurance contributions/future employment/training.

There is balance in life surley. This is pin money for you, you want a couple of years out.
Do it if you want...

There is no middle ground on mn... It's impossible here to take some time out without drastically reducing your entire life circumstances!!

I'd give it up in a heartbeat. Why make yourself and your daughter miserable. You'll find another solution that works better. Everyone I know who became SAHM were fine, still are fine. Not earning millions now but they never were going to. You won't regret time spent with your daughter.

Hand your notice in and enjoy your baby. It’s only a job. And like you said it’s in demand so if anything happened you could get back into it if needed.
no brainer to me! Most people would pack in work if they could x

I'll have your job at £700 for 2 days and you can have my 3 days a week for £236 😮

@Speedygonzales78 it's £700 a month?

@Speedygonzales78 Its 174 for 2 days not 700. its 700 fr the month