To hand my notice in..

[snowinlove123]

I've worked part time since my youngest (who's 2) was a few months old. I've been at my current job around 6 months.
I'm considering handing my notice in and being a SAHM for a year or 2. I hate having to drag her out of bed before it's even light to get her to nursery before I start work, I don't enjoy the job and for 2 days it's only £700.
Mentally it's on my mind all the time thinking how I hate it. DH has her the second day while he works from home and said it's getting increasingly more difficult with her being more demanding. I wouldn't want her to be in nursery 2 days. It wouldn't be worth it.
Dh says he'd be supportive of me if I wanted to have a break. He said the money saved on childcare I could just keep for myself. I pay no bills or anything towards the house. The £700 just goes in my bank and I spend it on whatever.
It's a job that's in demand as it's so badly paid and women walked out in drones over lockdown. For example I had a 7 year break from this job and walked straight back into it.

What would you do?

ITS £700 a MONTH everyone not £700 a week!
So basically I do 15 hours a week and get paid £700 monthly.
I wish it was £700 a week!! Jesus!

Do what’s best for your family OP I don’t see the issue with quitting your job as long as you have full access to your joint account. You know your husband better than us, how is he with money? If your going to have to ask his permission to make a purchase or he won’t share his salary then don’t quit your job, who cares if it’s low paid it’s a job and gives you some independence with your own money. But if you know he’s generous, you already have access to the joint account, he treats you as equals, all money is shared money etc then I don’t see the issue.

Soolrry my bad, but I didn't see "per month" anywhere, I get paid weekly you see

@Speedygonzales78 it's my fault I don't think I put per month anywhere 🤦🏼‍♀️

I would .spend time with the children . I went back to work after my children were at school and ended up being a Director of a small company . But I loved my time at home with the children .

@snowinlove123

It sounds like a job with no real progression that you can step in and out of? If that's right, I guess the only real loss is pension benefits.

Please make a plan and do something about that, check your NI contributions on the government website, look at a private pension if not an occupational one. It comes around before you know it (having kids warps time, long days and short years) and it's a time that women can find themselves utterly dependent on men when the honeymoon period of marriage is long gone...

So many of us take the hit of working part-time, or not working at all, in order to have the primary unpaid caring/home keeping role and contributing to family life in that way. Which is putting a lot of trust in the future, that the pension benefits your DH accrues will benefit both of you.

It's a really perverse situation in which you'd almost be better off divorcing in your 60s to lay equal claim to pension benefits, rather than staying together and just hoping that your DH behaves equitably.

I have one at school and one about to start nursery. I honestly believe nursery has been brilliant for my eldest and even if I didn’t work I would always want my youngest to attend part of the week. It’s been so good for social skills and preparing for school, plus she loved it. I agree with others saying keep your independence. If you leave now and want to go back in the future you will find it harder as the workplace moves on without you. Don’t become dependant on someone else.

Check your NI /state pension status:

https://www.gov.uk/check-national-insurance-record

I'd quit, but use nap time/ evenings to study or retrain for a higher paid role

Am I right in thinking your DD is in nursery one day and with your DH the other day and he has said that he is finding it difficult? If so I would stay at home.

Many women are afraid not to work in case it leaves them vulnerable, however you have said you could re enter the workplace easily enough.

Your DH has said he’s not enjoying it, you are not enjoying it, he will financially support you. I was SAHM and it was a joy, it benefited both of our relationships with each other and the children.

Yes we as parents can and do juggle, work, childcare and home life and sometimes it causes resentment or affects the dynamic. If you don’t need to there is nothing wrong with staying at home and enjoying this time. My DC’s still went to nursery and I studied to change career.

£700 is three quarters of my full month’s pay, it’s hardly “shocking” for two days’ work.

Take a break and be with your little one op.

It sounds like a no brainier to me.

@WingsofRain it's £700 a month.

If I were you I would quit the job, bank the 700 and use it to spend a year or two training in a more lucrative field or upskilling in your current one so that you can get back into the workforce with more upward potential in the future.

Ensure you are getting child benefit for the national insurance contributions even if dh earns over the threshold. You can get up to 12 years of contributions. This will put you into the minimum threshold for state pension on it's own.

I would leave and enjoy the time with child until she was at school.

What would you put in the notice letter if I decide to leave? The manager is nice and offered me a job a few times.

Should I put something like due to family commitments?

I’d leave. I’m a single parent but left my NHS job earlier this year. It’s such a struggling juggling the everyday slog with toddler duties and nursery runs and I just felt like I wasn’t enjoying the time I had with her whilst she’s so little. Now I’m self employed doing locum work to keep my foot in the medical door, and running my own small business. The difference in work/life balance is so so worth it, and I plan to go back to full time
employment once she’s older.

That's what I was thinking! 2 days a week,.8 days a month for £2800?

Ah right it's £700 a month!

I would quit, and I have done in the past. I just said circumstances had changed and it was no longer a viable job role for me, but that I would love to return in the future if there was a position available.

I wanted to be at home with my children, have a good marriage and trusted my husband. I’m now back at work two days a week and don’t regret any of it!

I can’t understand this. I’m the mum of an 8 year old and soon to be 4 year old, and I have always worked FT up to birth and from when they were 6 months old. I had my first when I was 30, second when I was 34. I don’t understand why it all feels quite so impossible. Both of ours went to a lovely nursery (which we clearly returned to for a second time with second kid) - from 6 months old and we are a tight knit unit of 5 (including Ddog) with confident articulate children and neither DH nor i have taken any career breaks. It’s been far from easy but not a colossal grind? My parents live two continents away and his parents 1 hour away so no GP support either. It’s hectic yes, but less so as they have grown up, and with clear routines, and give and take and equal sharing of load - it is hard work but not awful/horrible/impossible. Do you perhaps not like your profession or current employer? Your daughter is coming up to a fantastic age where she will thrive with other kids and plenty of play around her and a proper routine as well instead of being sort of unsettled in nursery 1 day, semi ignored by dad another day and so on.

This I don’t understand why people think wfh means they can also do childcare!!

Personally I’d keep working but find a job you perhaps enjoy a bit more. But that’s just me, I like to work.

We had someone who cared for an under 1yr old baby at home and HR said we couldn’t do anything about it as she had cited breastfeeding. I just found it bizarre, but we had no choice but to roll with it. She claimed when the baby was 1 she would put him in childcare but not before then due to the breastfeeding. She actually said to her manager that she wasn’t answering anymore questions about it as it’s her personal life. Unbelievable

Do it. They are only little for such a short time you only need to do it for a year or so. Life is short. If you don't like your job and it's not going to lead anywhere then get out and make the most of the time you have. You can explore retraining in something else while your off

It's such a difficult one isn't it because I can totally see it from both sides, and some days I'm a SAHM wannabe and others I am a a career woman. It's such a shame that as women we can't have it all, but as the same time it's great because we sometimes have the option!

Personally I work 3/4 days a week. Currently on 3 days as just gone back to work, DC2 is 6 months.

I miss her and I feel guilty dropping her off and her being the smallest, but god I need that mental break, that challenge and that adult conversation/cup of tea!

Not only that but I love to earn my own money. And maybe I'm naive but I don't ever think DH and I will split up, although it's possible, so it's more about me working now than the thought of me needing to work later.

Anyway sorry for talking about myself OP but you ultimately need to make your decision here, and I guess it boils down to
1 - do you want to work
2 - do you want some time off

And which one is more important to you!