To hand my notice in..

[snowinlove123]

I've worked part time since my youngest (who's 2) was a few months old. I've been at my current job around 6 months.
I'm considering handing my notice in and being a SAHM for a year or 2. I hate having to drag her out of bed before it's even light to get her to nursery before I start work, I don't enjoy the job and for 2 days it's only £700.
Mentally it's on my mind all the time thinking how I hate it. DH has her the second day while he works from home and said it's getting increasingly more difficult with her being more demanding. I wouldn't want her to be in nursery 2 days. It wouldn't be worth it.
Dh says he'd be supportive of me if I wanted to have a break. He said the money saved on childcare I could just keep for myself. I pay no bills or anything towards the house. The £700 just goes in my bank and I spend it on whatever.
It's a job that's in demand as it's so badly paid and women walked out in drones over lockdown. For example I had a 7 year break from this job and walked straight back into it.

What would you do?

DH is on a good wage and will be getting around £500k over the next couple of years on top of his wage as a payout from his share of the business.

I don't know whether to ride it out for another couple of months, as I am guaranteed a seasonal job should I want it starting in April.. or to just hand my notice in next time I'm at work x

Yep, they're out in force this evening it seems on all the threads! 🤦‍♀️

That’s similar to TAs, temps get £100 a day 😱

@Mumof2NDers I was considering staying until April to see what they offered me. If it is less than £12.25 it's an insult as that means I would be being paid even closer to minimum wage than I am now if it's less than that.

Where I worked before I got minimum wage and holiday pay on top each month as it was zero hours and I actually came home with more.

The manager here was also a dental nurse and she's absolutely lovely, I mean she doesn't decide what we're paid it's the principal dentist who does. All the dentists are very nice to work with.. it's not the practise it's the job itself I think.. and the whole CPD/GDC and the terrible wage when we're in such demand!

I don't think I'll still be dental nursing come Easter either way.

We always say this to each other.. why pay locums so much when for an extra £1 an hour dental nurses would feel much more appreciated and possibly stay longer! I did look into working for cavity but I'm quite rural and not the most confident driver so it put me off x

OP can maintain her self respect and pride in raising her child and running her house FFS! Just because we can and do pursue demanding careers outside of the home, it doesn't mean everyone wants or has to. Running a home is demanding and fulfilling enough for many people and absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I personally would find running my home and being a stay at home parent too stressful so I don't do it. (That and I need to pay all my own bills!)

OP, I personally think it's a no brainer IF your relationship is solid and mutually respectful. Maybe think about taking some of that money saved and putting it into some investments for your pension. Enjoy raising your girl x

I work at a dental practice, but not the boss/in control of the purse strings. They’re so short sighted about pay for nurses (agree with PP who’s also a nurse) it’s bullshit. and yes come min wage rise there’ll be a huge number leaving again.
how do they not see the business is fucked without the nurses??

@InAPickle12345 that's so kind of you to say. Thank you x

@Guest234562 even £12ph (£13 in April say) and GDC paid, would make us feel more valued.

At £11.25ph I'm the second highest paid nurse there (maybe as I'm the newest recruit and because they were desperate for a nurse) and we've all passed our exams, do CPD, pay our own GDC and work bloody hard. For less than £1 above minimum wage.

I think this thread has made my mind up for me.

What time does DC go to bed if they don't wake up until 9am?

You're more than welcome and I do really hope that you have the kind of solid relationship that will allow this to be a wonderful situation for you all where you'll be less stressed, your husband can focus fully on work when working and your little girl is happy having Mum at home.

IMO there's no greater pride to be had in this world than raising happy, secure children and caring for those you love.... far greater pride than being the Head of Credit Derivatives for JP Morgan 😅

Wishing you and yours all the best whatever you decide x

@Kwasi around 8pm but she stays awake in her cot singing to herself and playing with her teddy!! If I don't get her up she will sleep until 11am if she's allowed... she's basically a minature version of me 🤦🏼‍♀️

8pm????? That's so late for a 2 year old! No wonder you can't get her up. DS was in bed for 6pm at that age and goes at 7-7.30 pm now he's 5.5.

You need to get her into an earlier bedtime routine for when she does eventually go to nursery more and, of course, for school.

Leave the job and review your situation when you want . Go with your gut instinct . If you want to look after your daughter do it . You can return to a job you prefer when you're ready . Make sure though financially you don't lose . Keep pension contributions paid etc . Nothing is forever, same as caring for your little one building memories

two days a week?
i think you should suck it up
it is good for both of you
it is the january blues

Op, don’t give up working. Can you just find some evening work to tide you over for a little while until you are ready to consider going back full time?

I swear I have seen posts from a dental nurse debating if to stay at home or not. Weren't you a SAHM who did a little work and was desperate to get back to work and your former employer offered you some work? Personally I think two days work is a great balance. Just put your child into proper childcare that is all I suggest.

I would take only a few months out and look for something that fits the family better

I think the key difference here is this is a low paid job that OP hates that she could easily go back to if she needed to. She is not giving up a high flying lucrative career. Definitely quit OP. I don't think a lot of the posts about making yourself vulnerable / dependant on your DH apply to you given you are already in that situation, with or without your current job. Good luck to you xx

I've got a just turned 2 year old; and he doesn't go to bed at 6pm - he'd cause carnage. None of his nursery friends do, either. 7:30 - 8pm is usual; some go at 9pm.

Genuinely I'm stunned you can get a 2-year-old to bed for 6pm! He wouldn't entertain that even on no-nap days. We're a week in to no naps and he's still getting up between 6 - 7am and going to bed between 7 - 8pm.

@YouveGotAFastCar same here!! We're often just having our evening meal at 6pm!
I have a 6 year old and sometimes he can still be awake at 10pm.. we haven't struggled with him for school x

@theproblemwithparents that's exactly what I've been trying to explain. It pays barely any better than your average pub/shop job that any school leaver could walk into. I'm already financially dependent on him in that he pays for the roof over our heads, food, bills etc. If we split up with this job I'd have to claim benefits to top up my wage.
I just didn't fall into a good career, I wasted 7 years or whatever it was dental nursing where there is no progression and the pay stays consistently low xx

@Catsknowbest I've been more or less guaranteed a summer job at least by an old manager. It's only in a cafe for a museum and it pays more per hour than dental nursing does.

@cleo333 thank you xx

I think if you’re on minimum wages and it’s not working for your family then quit. Maybe find something in the evenings/weekends. I wouldn’t completely leave the workforce, and think about whether you could upskill to get a better job.
As you asked - how do others do it? You just dig deep and be knackered for those years. I don’t believe in working out nursery fees based on only the women’s earnings. Nursery fees are a shared household expense.
My children gained a lot from nursery, especially the social aspect. I think it’s harder for children who only go 1 day a week as they don’t build up a routine in the same way. I presume (but I might be wrong) your child goes to bed later, which is why they sleep in so late.

Ah sorry seen your updates. Absolutely quit. That sounds like an absolute scandal. Especially given how much dentists make.